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Taming Anger

Updated on October 22, 2011

Anger A Normal Emotion

Anger is a completely normal emotion. It is normal to feel angry when you have been let down, betrayed or treated unfairly.

A certain amount of anger is necessary to your survival as it allows you to fight and defend yourself when you are attacked. But when anger gets out of control or turns destructive, it can lead to various problems such as domestic violence, spousal abuse, aggressive driving violations, disruption at the workplace and family fights.

It is impossible not to get angry about something. But it is how you act when you are angry that can makes a situation better or worse. You cannot physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys you. You cannot get rid of or avoid things, people or situations that enrage you. Besides, you cannot change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

How To Tame Your Anger

There are various strategies you can adopt to keep your anger at bay. First of all, don't take too much stress. The higher the level of stress, the easier it is to allow your anger to get out of control. In many situations you are unable to resolve conflicts or think rationally in an argument when your stress level is high. To avoid losing control either physically or verbally, it is often best to take a temporary time-out and leave. Try to cool yourself down during this time. Once you have calmed yourself, you can return to work things out.

Learn to express your feelings appropriately when you feel frustrated. If you can't find the right words to describe your feelings, find a trusted friend who can speak on your behalf. It is important for the people close to you to know what you are going through.

Anger like other emotions is accompanied by physiological changes. When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure increases. This is certainly not good for your health. To lower your heart rate and to let the angry feelings subside, calm yourself internally with the help of deep breathing and relaxing imagery. Imagine yourself at a park, a lake, or anywhere that makes you feel calm and peaceful. Try other thoughts that have helped you relax in the past.

Make time for things you enjoy and focus on positive things in your life. Take care of your physical health by exercising regularly, eating healthy meals, and getting enough sleep. Avoid smoking and alcohol. Make sure that you have some "personal time" particularly scheduled for stressful times of the day. Talk to someone with a good sense of humour or if there kids in your house, play with them. Non-strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises or a walk can relax your muscles and calm you down. Activities such as listening to music, painting, cooking, gardening, reading, or watching TV also helps to control angry feelings.

Always think before you speak or act. Some people jump to conclusions when they are angry which can be very inaccurate. Before your anger gets out of control and you say or do something that you might regret later, give yourself some time to think. If you are in a heated discussion, don't say the first thing that comes into your mind. Slow down and think carefully what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering. Try to understand the other person's point of view.

You can also calm yourself down by just thinking about the benefits of controlling your anger and the consequences of losing control. People who manage their anger well have better relationships, better health, and more success than those who manage their anger poorly. Uncontrolled anger can negatively affect the overall quality of your life and can result in a loss of respect which would make you unhappy. Witnessing extreme conflict in the home can have devastating effects on children, both mentally and physically.


Remember that getting angry is not going to fix anything, and it won't make you feel better. Uncontrolled anger may actually make you feel worse. Learn to control your anger and don't let anger control you.


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    • hassam profile image

      hassam 9 years ago from Pakistan

      Thanks for the appreciation

    • compu-smart profile image

      Compu-Smart 9 years ago from London UK

      You make some great points!!

      I have taken some notes;)

      Good Job!