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Tangible Memorials For Those Who Have Suffered A Miscarriage or Pregnancy Loss

Updated on November 6, 2009

If you've endured a pregnancy loss, you may feel that you're all alone in your grief process. Even if you have supporters, you feel that if you just had something tangible to be a memorial for your baby, that you might be able to cope just a little better. Well, you're right. If you've experienced an early pregnancy loss, you more than likely didn't have a funeral for your precious baby. You may have wished that you could have had one, but because the loss wasn't as real to others as it was to you, you wouldn't have thought of it. Maybe you would not have wanted a service even if you were given the choice. Either way, you probably still wish for something to mark the memory. Although this is one of the most painful things you've ever experienced, your mother's heart doesn't want to forget. (If that were possible). If you had a more advanced pregnancy loss, and did have a funeral, having something tangible around you to memorialize your loss is still very helpful.

As for myself, I have a little figurine of two babies bundled up snugly in the snow sitting on the mantle of my fireplace. They remind me of two little angels that found a place in Heaven to play in the snow. Also, my mother-in-law delivered a baby boy at six months along and the angels carried him to Heaven. The body of her precious baby is buried in a cemetery near her home. She places flowers on his grave for him every year and she places flowers for our babies as well. I can go to the little grave on Memorial Day and pay respects to my little brother-in-law, and remember my losses as well. (Mom, if you read this, 'Thank You.' This little gesture has always meant so much to me)!

Also, I gave my babies names. This alone has helped me immensely. I think of my babies by their "names" instead of "the babies I lost". Even if you're not sure if the baby was a boy or girl, you may just "know" in your heart what the name is supposed to be.

You can read my personal story by clicking here.

Here are some other ways to remember your angel.

  • Write to your baby in Heaven by the means of a journal, then ask God to tell your baby what you wrote. (God loves and cares for you and He loves your baby too; He really can do this for you if you ask).
  • Write a poem and frame it
  • Display a magnetic pregnancy loss ribbon on your vehicle or wear a ribbon on your clothing.
  • Make a bookmark with the date of the loss, the baby's name (if you have one) and a poem or saying. (If your baby was delivered, put a copy of his little footprints on it).
  • Make a memorial web page or scrapbook
  • Plant a rose bush or tree in honor of your baby


REMEMBER...It's not your fault.

Among the wide range of emotions that you may be experiencing at this time, guilt may rank close to the top. As you begin analyzing everything that you have done over the time that you were pregnant, you suddenly realize that their may have been some things that you probably should or should not have done. You carried your three year old, you drank too much caffeine, (or maybe even something stronger once or twice before you realized you were pregnant).

Things like this, although not recommended, are not what caused you to miscarry. There are several different causes for miscarriages, such as health problems, implantation problems, or a defect in the sperm. For more information on the causes of miscarriage, click here. But even though you may try to figure out the problem, more than likely you will never have a satisfactory explanation. Even your doctor probably will not be able to give you the real reason, and most doctors won't even do testing until you've had more than three miscarriages. The bottom line is don't blame yourself.

Don't hold in your grief. Find a good friend or support group. Most of all, talk to God. Tell him everything you feel. He cares. Remember, His son died too, but He has risen again! Because of this, you can have hope of being with your baby one day.

Jesus Has A Rocking Chair (SONG)

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    • Leaderofmany profile image

      Leaderofmany 

      6 years ago from Back Home in Indiana

      We just lost our granddaughter right before Christmas, and now she rest in a heart for all of us to have forever, she was eleven weeks but carried until 16 weeks before we knew she was gone. She was born on my bathroom floor and I got to hold her and I knew she was my granddaughter from the moment I saw her. Now she is forever with us in her little heart.

    • profile image

      Nicole 

      6 years ago

      I lost Sarah on Dec 25th, 2011. She was 18 wks 3 days old and her heart beat slowed down and stopped before she was delivered. I am planning on having a memorial for her. This is really hard for me and I can still see her face, her hands, her feet and her thighs and it's just too hard to deal with. My family has been very supportive and I really appreciate that. Right now my breast are getting bigger and have started producing milk which is just a painful reminder that i've lost my daughter.

    • profile image

      Jennifer sosa 

      7 years ago

      My name is jennifer me n my husband were trying to have kids for 3 years once I forgot n stop trying god blessed us I didn't even know then one day some thing told me take a test. It was positive! So a week later we found out it was twins. They had heart beats but were week so I did an ultra sound once a week. Then when I was 2 months went n they said very blunt and with no compassion they have no heart beats u have 2 choices.to get a dnc or to let them pass n see a gorey mess. It is really hard I cry every day and feel like it will never pass this month on the 18th will be one year since my dnc.

    • profile image

      markelle mommy 

      8 years ago

      This was Inspuring I was suppose too be due in march ..but I miscarried also ,sometimes the pain in unbearables many tears of sorrow but Im learning to live with it ,but I named him markelle ..and one day in heaven ill get to meet my baby

      mommy love you markelle._!i sympathise with yall and know that you are not alone ,

    • debbie2410 profile image

      debbie2410 

      8 years ago

      been 1 week since mine not doing great emotionally x

    • profile image

      megarita 

      9 years ago

      I had a missed miscarriage and a D & C last week. My husband and I have hung a cross with an inscription for the baby and I now wear a cross pendant with what would have been the baby's birthstone. Thank you for you stories and God bless all of you.

    • blessedmommy profile imageAUTHOR

      Carisa Gourley 

      9 years ago from Oklahoma City Metro, Oklahoma

      krystalkay: Your story is both very sad and very beautiful. How hard this still must be on you. Thanks so much for sharing with us. Praise God for the sign that He gave you that your little ones arrived safely into His arms. Now everytime you see a rainbow you can remember that they are very much alive and being well-cared for by the most capable hands in the universe.

      God bless.

    • profile image

      krystalkay06 

      9 years ago

      My water broke on Dec 26, 2007 at midnight. Afterwards I was on bedrest for two weeks when finally, my baby boys had to be delivered due to infection. They were delivered almost 24 hrs apart, so they have their own birthdays. They were about 3 days shy of 20 weeks. I had a healthy pregnancy, was never sick, no pain, nothing wrong...they said it was group B strep that had moved into my uterus....

      I keep thinking what if I wouldve had a cerclage, would they have survived?

      We had a memorial service and buried them, so we can go visit them.

      The hospital gave us a memorial box for each of them with a little hat, tape measure with lengths marked, memory book, seashell that was used during baptism, cross, and footprint card....I made pillows with their names on them and a blanket for their dad with rainbow footballs because the day the second one went to Heaven, we saw a rainbow outside my hospital room for 30 seconds and then the sky closed back up and was dark out again..

      Peace and good luck to those of you who want to try again......

    • blessedmommy profile imageAUTHOR

      Carisa Gourley 

      10 years ago from Oklahoma City Metro, Oklahoma

      Rangerwife: My thoughts and prayers are with you right now.

    • Rangerwife profile image

      Rangerwife 

      10 years ago

      Thank you for your words of encouragement. I just lost my child a week ago today.

    • itscool profile image

      itscool 

      10 years ago from Online from Home!

      this a real problem with many young women these days

      im currently studying medicine at university and i do abit of research and theres one site that i find useful dont know if its any use to anyone is: http://www.miscarriageadvice.com

      its updated a lot i get most of my references from it from my assignments, by the way great report :)

    • profile image

      Diana Gardner-Williams 

      10 years ago

      I love the idea of creating a bookmark with the babies footprints, names and dates. Thank you for the suggestion.

      Peace Love and Hugs from Above

      Diana Gardner-Williams

    • soyelude profile image

      soyelude 

      11 years ago from Lagos - Nigeria

      AMEN.

    • profile image

      piggylane 

      11 years ago from Oklahoma

      I have never went thru the pain of losing a child. What great comforting words and thoughts you wrote for everyone else who may be going thru it. My heart goes out to all the women who has suffered a misscarriage. May God be with you all.

    • gabriella05 profile image

      gabriella05 

      11 years ago from Oldham

      I have 2 angels in my garden to remand me of my 2 baby that I have lost (no that I would forget them) and in september I lost my 3rd baby I haven't yet got my 3rd angel but I will do because it helps me to go in the garden and speak to them I am a little sad now but great hub thumb up for you

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