Ten Ways To Find Love

Sobriety is a state of mind that is not fogged up. Yes substances are obvious but, anger, morose, too happy or like a workaholic or fitness freak are right up there in blocking sobriety. Resentments and fears and compulsions are about that too.

Sober is more like being content with who you are and your circumstance so that you can have a somewhat even keel about you. People love reliability in that sense.

Sober is also now becoming to mean to be in the moment. Or mindfulness. We must find a peace in the space we are in in order to love the moment. How can we love someone for what they will be in the future? And we cannot be in the present to love if we are somewhere else. Yes love can survive distance of place but not distance of space.

Those must go hand in hand. Do not shut up when it is your turn to talk. Open up speak what you are thinking. Hey faking that one is the opposite of love. But when it is not your turn to speak listen do not get all self centered and when you are done don't care. Practice listening to something that is totally boring. (do not tell any one but I have attended church services where the only good came was a practice session in listening to boring.)

Some stories/conversations just are not interesting to you, but you can still enjoy paying attention to the impact it had on the speaker.

Look around, many folks just are not happy. Sad but true. If you love yourself then you are happy. Deaths and sickness are hard on us, finances are tough. Violence everywhere. But if you love yourself there is always something to be happy about. (narcissism is a disorder and not what we are talking about)

Loving yourself is about about not having to prove yourself to others. And when you get that you do not have to judge or prove yourself to yourself.

Yes we put them together for most who do not love one does not love the other. It is something about being “bothered” and “what use are they?” And there are some strange folk that claim to love them but would not have them of their own. That is an issue that should be recognized and dealt with somehow.

I have found that there is little difference in nature lovers and city lovers other that “style” they develop. Hey. This writer is a nature lover born and bred and practicing but, lived or spent significant time in 5 of ten of the largest cities outside of India and China. If you love where you are that works just fine.

Other people love to see other people passionate. That is one reason we love sports and politics. Those folks really care about winning. It is why I love art, ballet and opera and church choirs.

Passion is the key not your belief. And by passion we do not mean like the prick who just won’t stop arguing either side. We mean a conviction that does not require you to be right all the time. No one wants to go out to eat with that person or take them home to mom and dad.

No not once across the street. Find someone whose needs you meet like driving them or talking to them daily or helping them with school work.

Help a widow with her garbage and lawn, volunteer, babysit a night a week for a single mom.

When we help others we get out of ourselves, in a good way. When we are counted on it spreads it two fold or three maybe. And then you can let them do something nice for you and that is a critical skill to develop gracefully.

Yes we all need to or it comes out and that is not good.There is nothing more boring to hear an adult talk about how bad their parents treated or treat them. Besides what does it say about your ability to get over something and move on?

If you have done the above love will find you

Critical last on the list. Too many movies like Spiderman or True Grit out there. Say it.

It was hoped in writing this that some notice the issue about how to find love and yet throughout I was telling you to love this, that and everything else. Of course we were searching for loving a life long lover, partner and hopefully spouse. Someone who is a soul mate and someone who cares deeply about you because you have let them know you and you have done all these steps and are now what we would call a loving person.

For Spiritual folks we hope the love is augmented toward and by that great love we feel from and too our God. For the Atheist we hope that it broke it more down into a practice of enjoyment of ife and most call a love of life, which makes you love able.