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Ten Ways To Find Love

Updated on April 15, 2014

Love is everywhere if we just look and not search.

Most love is missed, just like the missing the trees for the forest (yes I know)
Most love is missed, just like the missing the trees for the forest (yes I know) | Source

1. Try to stay somewhat sober.

Sobriety is a state of mind that is not fogged up. Yes substances are obvious but, anger, morose, too happy or like a workaholic or fitness freak are right up there in blocking sobriety. Resentments and fears and compulsions are about that too.

Sober is more like being content with who you are and your circumstance so that you can have a somewhat even keel about you. People love reliability in that sense.

Sober is also now becoming to mean to be in the moment. Or mindfulness. We must find a peace in the space we are in in order to love the moment. How can we love someone for what they will be in the future? And we cannot be in the present to love if we are somewhere else. Yes love can survive distance of place but not distance of space.

Some people do not even stand still long enough to notice beauty

Beauty is found in all the cycles of our lives and days.
Beauty is found in all the cycles of our lives and days. | Source

2. Shutup AND listen.

Those must go hand in hand. Do not shut up when it is your turn to talk. Open up speak what you are thinking. Hey faking that one is the opposite of love. But when it is not your turn to speak listen do not get all self centered and when you are done don't care. Practice listening to something that is totally boring. (do not tell any one but I have attended church services where the only good came was a practice session in listening to boring.)

Some stories/conversations just are not interesting to you, but you can still enjoy paying attention to the impact it had on the speaker.

3. Love yourself.

Look around, many folks just are not happy. Sad but true. If you love yourself then you are happy. Deaths and sickness are hard on us, finances are tough. Violence everywhere. But if you love yourself there is always something to be happy about. (narcissism is a disorder and not what we are talking about)

Loving yourself is about about not having to prove yourself to others. And when you get that you do not have to judge or prove yourself to yourself.

Staying logical is good but it should not interfere with feelings. (Dr. Spock - not logical)

4. Love Animals and Small Children

Yes we put them together for most who do not love one does not love the other. It is something about being “bothered” and “what use are they?” And there are some strange folk that claim to love them but would not have them of their own. That is an issue that should be recognized and dealt with somehow.

5. Love Nature or Cities

I have found that there is little difference in nature lovers and city lovers other that “style” they develop. Hey. This writer is a nature lover born and bred and practicing but, lived or spent significant time in 5 of ten of the largest cities outside of India and China. If you love where you are that works just fine.

Can you love where you are at?

Do you find yourself hating either the dirt or the concrete?

See results

6. Find a passion for spiritualism or atheist science.

Other people love to see other people passionate. That is one reason we love sports and politics. Those folks really care about winning. It is why I love art, ballet and opera and church choirs.

Passion is the key not your belief. And by passion we do not mean like the prick who just won’t stop arguing either side. We mean a conviction that does not require you to be right all the time. No one wants to go out to eat with that person or take them home to mom and dad.

Love is rose - do not pick it, it only grows when it is on the vine

7. Take care of someone.

No not once across the street. Find someone whose needs you meet like driving them or talking to them daily or helping them with school work.

Help a widow with her garbage and lawn, volunteer, babysit a night a week for a single mom.

When we help others we get out of ourselves, in a good way. When we are counted on it spreads it two fold or three maybe. And then you can let them do something nice for you and that is a critical skill to develop gracefully.

8. Forgive your Parents

Yes we all need to or it comes out and that is not good.There is nothing more boring to hear an adult talk about how bad their parents treated or treat them. Besides what does it say about your ability to get over something and move on?

9. Do not look too hard.

If you have done the above love will find you

Water Buffaloes are the epitome of stoic

Do not be stoic
Do not be stoic | Source

10. Let them know and let them love you.

Critical last on the list. Too many movies like Spiderman or True Grit out there. Say it.

Let us wrap this bad boy up.

It was hoped in writing this that some notice the issue about how to find love and yet throughout I was telling you to love this, that and everything else. Of course we were searching for loving a life long lover, partner and hopefully spouse. Someone who is a soul mate and someone who cares deeply about you because you have let them know you and you have done all these steps and are now what we would call a loving person.

For Spiritual folks we hope the love is augmented toward and by that great love we feel from and too our God. For the Atheist we hope that it broke it more down into a practice of enjoyment of ife and most call a love of life, which makes you love able.


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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      If i find more love I will have to start bailing my boat!!!

    • joedolphin88 profile image


      4 years ago from north miami FL

      absolutely lol

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      My titles need work ;-) Want a job?

    • joedolphin88 profile image


      4 years ago from north miami FL

      Great pictures and great writing. The title misled me a little but I really enjoyed the article itself. Great hub

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank swilliams very fun one to write I love those songs.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

      4 years ago from Philippines

      This is really lovely. I think it is also a recipe on how to enjoy a richer life, whether you have already found love or not. There are still some things on your list that I personally need to do and look forward to doing. Oh, and the water buffalo -- so glad you included our wonderful carabao:)

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Beautiful pictures and great song choices! Love the Article Voted up.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      I grew up on a farm, then I married a city boy and have been in the city ever since. Although I do not love the dirt, I love what I can do with it. When I plant flowers and they come up beautiful, then I enjoy life more. I am coming to terms with having dirt around, though, more than I used to be. Maybe it is because I like to create things, and dirt is very useful for that!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora, I wrote that part as a scolding to me. But God keeps revealing.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      DDE I went to a shrink once and he told me that I love to much it blinds me to reality. I gave him my card and said if he ever wanted to talk about his problems to get a hold of me. He showed up at one of my preachings a year later and admitted he was crazy! Love should be blind.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Truth be told I can almost only see love. Though I am a provocateur. hihihihi

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      4 years ago from The Caribbean

      All your points are powerful. I especially like "Passion is the key not your belief. . . We mean a conviction that does not require you to be right all the time." I do love this kind of individual.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      You can find love in many ways it all depends on how much you can cope with the love you have for each other.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      If you can't find love then you ain't looking very hard...just sayin


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