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The Bear Truth

Updated on November 9, 2015

One Evening Down at the Pub

“If God wanted us to be naked, then why did He invent sexy lingerie?”

-Shannen Doherty

So there I was again, at the corner pub, minding my own business as I do. At the bar sat a few of the regulars and at various tables were a mixture of amounts of people – some regulars, some soon-to-be regulars and some you will probably never see again. It was the nice spring weather that had rolled in that had them all out. The pub door had been held open with a brick and the windows overlooking the river had been rolled open wide allowing a constant stream of fresh air to filter out the all of the various aromas that people carry about with them.

Rob and Laura, a couple of plumbers by day and self-proclaimed Society’s Critics by night, were staring at the TV over the corner of the bar. You couldn’t hear anything as din of the crowd blended and drowned out any competition. But you could still watch it. Some commercial was showing a woman in a bath and then getting dressed in medieval armor then riding out of a castle that was under attack. Who knows what it was for, but it prompted Laura to say, “I read that more and more people are walking around the house naked.”

“Where do they live?”

“Here in this country.”

He grinned. “I meant, in what neighborhood – I want to see them.”

“Really, Rob… Really? You’d want to see Virginia McKesson in the raw?”

Now I don’t know who that person might be, but from Rob’s reaction – the simulated ‘eyes burning out of the head’ act – seemed to indicate that this was someone who should remain covered.

After a moment, she continued, “The question is why are we as a society are shedding our clothes? Are we becoming primitive again, reverting to something that we once did in the early years of mankind? Is it even healthy?”

“You really need to get a hobby”, he said to her, “for you have too much time on your hands to think of these kinds of things.” He then took a gulp off of his mixed drink – draft beer and V-8 juice.

She took a swig off of her Michelob, wiped her lips with that back of her hand and looked at him. “What kind of things?”

“You know, the weird stuff you always talk about.” He looked at her as she glared back at him. He continued undaunted. “Like your theory that aliens from another planet are taking over this planet by integrating into our cities, acting like us, having children like us, but not telling the children they are from another species from another world so that they would earnestly believe that that are from here and that one day these “sleeper-cell children” will wake up and attack.”

It could happen!”

“In a book or movie or a song, maybe! But…” He paused “Where you left alone a lot as a child?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. It’s just that it you do seem to come up with some pretty far out ideas. At times I really wonder what is rolling around in the pretty little head of yours.” He paused for a moment, then turned back to her. “So, who cares about people being naked. We all are born that way. Can’t really get clean if we aren’t that way. And it seems that in our bedrooms we seem to have the most pleasure when we are that way, if you know what I mean. So why shouldn’t we be naked?”

Personally speaking, I’ve never had a problem being in the buff. But that’s just the way I’m built.

“Because it just isn’t right.”

“So why do we wear clothes, Miss Godiva?” With that, another slug of his mixture.

“I dunno…”

Then Christina chimed in. “Because we got cold. If you notice, the tribes people of the African deserts or the Australian Outback or the rain forests of South America wear next to nothing when photographed. My suspicion is that when not being viewed they probably have no problem being nude. But as early tribes thousands and thousands of years ago migrated to Europe, northern Asia and similar climes the environment were cooler so they began to don the furs of the animals they hunted thinking that if it kept the animal warm it would certainly keep them warm. From there the journey led to Bill Bass and the like.”

Laura looked at her. “The Bible says it was we discovered we were naked and were ashamed.”

“I like the barkeeps explanation better. Especially since you have conspiracy theories about the Bible as well.”

From behind this group of debaters a voice was heard saying. “May I please have a carafe of Chardonnay, please?”

The voice was familiar. I looked. It was the fellow that was in here not too long ago telling Christina why and how kissing can make you healthy.

Christina smiled. “You!?! I didn’t see you come in.”

He smiled back. “My escort for the evening and I went straight to the sundeck to secure a table first. It’s a lovely evening and we plan to enjoy it.”

“Any particular Chardonnay?”

He leaned on the bar and smoothly said, “Surprise me.”

Laura started again. “I tell you, being naked is totally unhealthy. It’s bad for the mind. It’s bad for the body. And it bad for the soul.”

The kissing man spoke up to her about her comment. “Actually, my friend, you’re wrong on all three of those statements.”

From far behind the bar you could hear Christina say, “I knew you’d have something to say about that. Speak up so I can hear you while I get your carafe!”

In a slightly louder voice he said, “Sure thing, dear. Being naked is one of the most healthy things one can do for themselves.”

Now it might have been my imagination, but it seemed that the entire bar go quieter. A lot quieter.

He continued. “Let’s take issue with each of this lovely lady’s statements. It’s bad for the mind, you said. Actually, being in the buff can give you good benefits to your mind. It makes you face your vulnerabilities. You can get hurt easier. From rug burns to getting scratches in various places. But your mind finds ways to face and overcome these challenges. So much so that you end up being able to fry bacon without fear. Also , it forces your mind to accept and love the body that you were given. Both of these traits of healthy mind. Plus, as you get to see yourself and accept yourself for who you are, your self-esteem becomes better. Your mind feels better and more confident about your body. And that in itself is a very healthy thing.”

Christina returned with is carafe but he didn’t lower his voice as he knew he had many others listening. So he addressed them as well as the three at the bar. “It good for the body to be naked. Benjamin Franklin would take what called ‘air baths’ on a daily basis. Somehow he knew that is was healthy and he was right! Being naked challenges and strengthens your immune system and that keeps you healthier.” He turned to Laura and in a manner as if he were telling only her a secret, he said, “By the way he lived to be 84 when the average life expectancy during his era was a mere 57.”

“Plus, you body’s main supply of the good fat cells is located around your neck and shoulder blades. When you body is cooled by being exposed to the elements your good fat cells reproduce at a greater rate and by doing so kills off the white or the bad fats cells. Plus when you are naked during the day, more of skin is exposed to sunlight, and as you know, sunlight is a natural source of vitamin D and is also known to clear up acne.”

“And as for the soul… Well, so many of us alter the seen parts of our body in our younger and mid years, only to become disappointed later on in life. But if you are naked and when you become comfortable with it, then you soul feels freer because it is freer. You will be more spontaneous and lively. You will feel stronger and braver. You feel freer to do things that you not have ever done, with or without being dressed. Why you might even have sex with the light on!

With that you could tell who was listening as there was a bit of a group chuckle.

“But also remember, your body is where your soul is housed. When you see yourself naked you see things that you might want to improve on. Be it toning muscle mass or simply losing a few pounds. You will subconsciously get your body in better shape or at least you will get yourself into shape you like. That judgment call’s from the mind, sure. But the soul benefits as it likes the package it’s in ”

“And one thing that you haven’t considered: it’s healthy for your wallet and the environment. The less often you wear clothes the less often you have to do laundry. You save on having to replace your wardrobe as often, cut down on detergent fabric softener and dryer sheets, plus there’s less used, dirty water going back into the system. And don’t get me started on the various benefits of sleeping naked. Especially if you share your bed. So you see, my friend, being naked is good for the mind, body and soul with added benefits to the Earth and, pun intended, your bottom line.”

He turned to Christina and picked up the carafe and glasses that she had placed on the bar. “On a nice, lazy and warm spring evening such as this, there’s nothing I’d rather do but to lounge about with a partner in our birthday suits enjoying a bit of wine. But since we are in public and current society frowns on the display of skin, unless it’s at some televised event like some sort of contest or an awards show, for now we will just enjoy the wine.” He turned and walked away and to the sundeck where it just fallen into the dim light of the moon.

Rob motioned to Christina that he’d like another round for Laura and himself. As she was obliging him he asked,” Who was that guy? I mean, it seems that he really knows about this stuff.”

“You should have heard him when he explained the benefits of kissing.” She retuned to the bar with the beers and a can of V-8 juice and gently set them down. She was able to see the Kissing Man with his escort as he called her. She was a very attractive brunette of a certain age and not one he had been in with before. “I don’t know his name, but when comes that sort of thing, it seems he does no a thing or two.’

The crowd in the bar had returned to it’s normal buzz and Rob and Laura had returned to staring at the T.V. From out of nowhere, Rob said, “E.T., the creatures from War of the Worlds and that beast from Aliens.”

Laura turned to him with a look that said exactly what she spoke which was, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Those were aliens from somewhere else that were superior to the human race.”

“So?”

“They were all naked. That’s all.”

She chuckled at him and shook her head.

He smiled at her. “You know we used to sleep naked. Up until the blizzard of ’92. That was a cold winter. One for the books. But I still think about when we used to sleep ‘au natural’. I kinda miss those days.”

“Why Robert Joseph Lee, are you trying to stoke a fire?” she said blushing a bit.

He turned back to the T.V. “Maybe… is it working?”

She turned her head back towards the set and without looking at him reached for his hand. “Maybe.” she replied.

After the last customer had left and Christina had finished mopping the floor and locked up, I found myself strolling down the sidewalk. I’ve never understood why people have such a problem being in the nude. I have a few close friends and we are just fine being in the buff. It seems natural to us. But then I have to remember, that’s just how some are made.

Origins of Mixing Beer with Tomato Juice

It’s sometimes called “Bloody Beer“ or a Red-Eye, but it’s origin is in a drink called a michelada (Spanish pronunciation: [mitʃeˈlaða]). A Mexican cerveza preparada made with beer, lime juice, and assorted sauces, spices, and peppers. It is served in a chilled, salt-rimmed glass. There are numerous variations of this beverage throughout Mexico and Latin America.

There are two popular versions of the origin and etymology of the michelada.

One concerns a Michel Ésper at Club Deportivo Potosino in San Luis Potosí, Mexico. Ésper used to ask for his beer with lime, salt, ice, and a straw, in a special cup called "chabela", as if it were a beer lemonade. The members of the club started asking for beer as "Michel's lemonade", with the name shortening over time to michelada. As time went by, other sauces were added to the original recipe. Today, it contains the same ingredients as a chelada but contains ice and chili powder on the rim.

Another etymology states that michelada is a portmanteau of mi chela helada. The word chela is a popular term for a beer in Mexico. When you ask for a chela, you are asking for a cold beer; therefore the phrase mi chela helada means "my cold beer".

Either way, here’s the proper way to mix one:

Ingredients-

  • 4 ounces of tomato juice
  • 12 ounces of pilsner or lager beer

Method of mixing-

Pour the tomato juice into a 16 ounce pilsner glass then pour the beer on top of it. The carbonation from the beer will cause the two to interact and mix with each other. For seasoning you might add a wedge of lime and a dash of hot sauce and Worchester sauce then maybe salt the rim of the glass (as you would a margarita).

-Cheers!


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