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Ten Sectrets To The Beauty In Raising A Young Child, By Eric Dierker
Get over the notion of perfection.
Raising is different than caring for.
Raising a child is not like being a nanny. Raising a child is not like being a teacher. They have jobs to do. Raising a child is not an adventure or job. It is the essence of leaving who you are to be who they need you to be.
Just put it away. Check your ego at the door there is not room for it here. Raising a young child is not and will not ever be about you. It is a total humbling experience. Or you are doing it wrong.
If a human can step outside of themselves and completely love then they start to understand raising a small child.
There is a man who is very very good at it. One or two results could be luck but six indicates his ability.
A hard truth to understand. Faults.
There is a major stumbling block that must be seen for what it is. One man has 4 biological children and several partially adopted. And he has siblings with no children. He has elder children and obviously at some point had his own parents.
To a single one, his relatives criticized how he raised his children.Even as his own children got older they criticized and gave advice how to raise his children better. And sometimes this criticism was rude and harmful and hateful.
I think you get the point. Loving and raising a small child is not about outside perception it is about inside direction. If you get it 75% of the time you are super human.
(excuse me for a second - my mom and dad had six of us children. They had a deal that if mom left for more than 48 hours and not one child was dead, he got a party thrown in his honor)
To raise up a child is to teach them to be more than who you are, I mean more than I am I supposed to be.
That is not my palm tree or bench or my ocean.
Alright and OK the title promise 10 secrets so here they are.
If bathing causes tears either do not do it or change your attitude.
"Finishing all your food" is really not always the right thing to do.
It is always good wisdom to honor your father. And we have found that sometimes that honor must be reciprocated
Going barefoot outside is the beginning of that crazy risk taking experience of being independent. Do not muck up how you handle that issue.
Good nutrition can only happen if you do it yourself.
Love is all cool in that huggy kissy deal. But you can tell when someone is really not feeling it. Take a great big huge breath and relax and really love that child. (hey that one is just as good for your blood pressure)
You were not raised perfectly. With that being the case what should you change about how you raise your child?
I hope to God you do not make that circle of unhealthy stuff you got, be given to your child ---- see a therapist even if you are certified perfect.
Did you know it is better to give you child candy in the morning than in the evening? And did you know that if your child does not see candy or soda,,,,, they will not ask for it?
Swimming is really really really good for you and your child. Because it forces you to stay totally focused on them or they will drown.
And the bonus mentions
Nobody is meant to spend over 30 hours a week with a child.
No child ever did not love their parent.
Let us get to the heart of love in family.
Knock it the hell off!
You are you and I am me and if you do not like me avoid me. If we are family then put up with me knowing that you might just possibly have some defects also.
"Son I raised you the best I could, I know it was not always good. My pappy was not around much so I kind had to figure it out on my own. That ain't no excuse. I reckon son that you have some anger. But please come take my life before you take it our on your son or wife"
Well as the the author wrote that piece his four year old came hollering into if we could pick the spring carrots and radishes yet and if our pumpkins were going to be "this big!!!".
Now he comes and insists that we cannot wait for the sun to not be so high because we must ride bikes right now and I am talking 20 seconds ago.
Do you love your parents?
Do you love them for how they taught you to love your children?
This article is dedicated to my sister Dena Mara Dierker Kuhn
May she continue to love me and give me guidance and help in being my youngest's son's Godmother.