The Boy Teach and the Father Student # 85 The Interview

We are into our 3rd month of a stay home directive from powers to be. Notice I did not say directly elected people. Makes no difference here. My wife just up and lost her job as they could not take the hit and closed her store. She is so tiny she is on a diet to gain weight. So getting real sick would be real bad. Me, I just have a little cancer and am over 60 so my immune system, they call it compromised. That is so rude to call someone “compromised”. How about I compromise them. We are at about at 80% certain mode that my 10 year old had it in December and I in March. All to the good I reckon.

So I said to the boy let us both answer questions alone. Same questions and just our independent answers. I am about to embark on this craziness. Let us see where it takes us. I have one hard and fast rule – “there are no rules”. For the moment things will have to wait. Mom is riding the boy’s bike around the yard in pink slippers and pajamas.

Now let us pass some time waiting for the interviews. I have a good stay safe job. I am on the emergency list with food distribution places. OK 100% churches and their pantries. Of course they have all the help they need. Except at least four days a week someone does not make it. My car is outfitted with extra gloves and masks and spray and wipes of the industrial sort. When folks were buying hand sanitizer I was buying weapons grade kill everything stuff. Lotion is easy out of my garden. Aloe of course being the go to.

So I get all the food I and my family can eat. So that is a big Duh! We take the Filipino ladies from the Naval Base and the ancient Vietnamese ladies from the church and bring them food. They just love it and the kitchens are rockin’ and rolling. Combine this with their home gardens and food even on the seconds is going to waste. So those down in the grapevines get their fill, not of groceries but full on home cooked meals. Another break here as I have to run some pots and pans over to Auntie as she is running low. My wife buys them up, so there is little cross contamination.

I am telling you, life around here is hard as nails. Time also to plant the summer garden 1. Yes our seasons do not end in the desert, we just swap crops.

So you are getting these straight from my boy’s pen. You think it is easy raising a 10 year old? He is a smarty pants to beat all smarty pants. 10 questions and this is what he came up with. We both answer them, hopefully not too confusing.

Q. What is a cupcake?

B: A small cake

F: A round package of sugar laden death for old men.

Q. What is a bigger cupcake?

B: A bigger small cake.

D: More weight gain.

Q. What is an even bigger cupcake?

B: A cake.

F: Too much trouble to make.

Q. What does the word “ask” mean?

B: Who knows?

F: Something you never do unless you want something.

Q. What is your favorite car?

B: Don’t have one.

F: The one we have.

Q. What is a “slug” when you have a horse?

B: A very very very slow horse.

F: A son.

Q. What is the moon made of?

B: Obviously cheese?

F: A man’s face.

Q. Why am I writing these questions?

B: I don’t know.

F: Because I want to see into your scramble brain thank you.

Q. What is dirt.

B: Baby rocks.

F: Something to get you dirty.

Q. What is cheese?

B: Yellow stuff that is not liquid.

F: One of my favorite foods.

Now if that sounds all over the place and strange. Welcome to the world of having a pre-teen. Oh you can look back 4 years and see his questions and then see them now and then know that in teenage years they will be all about him. Such is life. Today it is like a - well I do not know. But the boy can multiply 3 fractions in a row by himself. Try it 13/14 x 7/14 x 12/3. You have me there. But his mom is learning with him during this stay at home deal. Hey but I can teach how to catch a ball behind his back. (yes that is good for nothing, but so is the multiplication of 3 fractions) Hmmm. Mental and physical acuity?

F: Son what do you think about the shut down now?

B: I can’t believe you and mom are getting along so well.

F: Fair enough, me too.

F: I wonder how that works. It is hard being stuck with each other all the time.

B: I think work used to stress mom out.

F: That is funny in a weird way because for the first 5 weeks or so, not working stressed her out.

B: I know that change freaks people out some of the time, like you.

F: Yes but I am handicapped when it comes to change. It is wrong to move furniture around on a blind man.

B: Dad you are not blind.

F: More than two types of blind son.

B: No lecture please. Like being blind to love. You say that too much.

F: You know the rule. I only repeat stuff to remember them myself.

B: I do that with stuff I need to remember like feeding the fish.

F: There are more than two types of feeding. Hihihi

B: Dad how can you get stranger every day?

F: Ha ha ha. That is why I make more money than you. I am not getting stranger you are just getting smarter so you notice my strange more. You used to think I was normal. I did not change, you did. Back to Blind, you were blind to my crazy.

B: OK dad you are doing it again. And how do you do that? What do you call it? “bringing it back around again”. Like what you said 5 minutes ago now makes more sense?

F: Sorry but being a dad of over 30 years, a preacher and a trial attorney you learn that what you say in your opening has to make sense in your closing. I like the word “purpose”.

B: Now I know what Addy was talking about. You really do not talk for fun.

F: You busted me there. I suppose I am selfish in that way. It is fun for me.

B: Ya, you are irritating to the rest of us. Sorry that was mean.

F: You could have said it nicer but the truth itself is not mean it is freedom, not just for you but for others around you.

B: Dad you are to serious today. Lighten up and laugh.

And so the beat goes on. We think of children reaching up to understand the world when we should, just maybe, be looking down for insights and understanding. If you know those kind of answers let me know. I am going out to garden. I hope my tomatoes are as good as las year.