The Boy Teacher and the Father Student #86 The relationship

Sometimes looking into your child is a bit like looking into yourself. Scary. But with a child you kind of get “redos”. You can change course. For us old farts the course was set back when we were that child. We must be always on our toes to help them set the right course for themselves. Now let me include pets in that bag of tricks. We have to raise them right also.

F: What is on your mind son? Thanks for making that cool card for the food people.

B: Thank you dad it was a good idea to thank them. But you work over there for the food.

F: Yes, isn’t that cool. They need a strong back and some friendship and I got both.

B: And they have the best food. Even if we cannot pronounce the ingredients, hihihihi.

F: Well that kind of went out the window with the covid.

B: When will we get back to organic and healthy food, I kind of miss it, and don’t lecture me on shelf life.

F: I did some yesterday. Those berries and lemons. We have to eat them right away because without the chemies they go bad quick – oops I have said that 2 billion times – sorry.

B: Our second garden is slow this year. Should we add fertilizer?

F: We could but it is this sucky June gloom that is hiding the sun for too long of a day. Give it another week or so and it will be July blue skies. But then it will get good and.

B: Seasons are so boring. They are always just the same.

F: I know what you mean, leaves off the trees, beautiful light green leaves, then dark green and then all kind of colors, boring!

B: You know what I mean.

F: I am just joshing wit you boy. I really cannot say I get anticipation of the seasons all that right. Sometimes I am all negative and don’t look forward.

B: We all know you are a bit crazy so that is OK.

F: Do you think I am really crazy or that I just talk about the inside?

B: You lose that one dad. It is crazy to always talk about deep stuff.

F: What is for lunch and why are you wearing that shirt? See I can do normal.

B: You lose again dad. That kind of talk is crazy for you.

F: It is a brutal world son.

What about that space stuff? Isn’t it cool. I wonder what marvels they have provided us with through experiments and such up there. I wonder, it really is International. Like Europe and Russia and us. Japan and Canada are part of the deal. I got no idea what the Chinese are doing but I suppose it has military, conquer the world weird stuff. Sorry but that place is crazy. My friends who emigrated from there are salt of the earth nice. They do not have “politics” there. They only know power.

There is some serious power stuff going on with Father and Son. Lest you think it lopsided consider this; a son has the power to break his father down and make him weep. He can create an infectious smile and belly laughs and so much love to be passed on. I am just saying my children ultimately have more power over me than I over them. By about 7 they figure it out. I am lucky I reckon as they have not turned it against me.

F: What makes you cry?

B: When I fall at the rock hopping garden you made.

F: You don’t come around crying anymore about that. I sneak peeks and have seen you fall hard. And get up pissed off. What is up with that?

B: If I let mom see, she says to stop doing the rock hopping. And you just say, “Damn that must of hurt, what did you do wrong, were you day dreaming?”

F: Fair enough. I get your point. That full concentration deal is tough.

B: How come that the better I get at something the less I concentrate on it?

F: That is the difference between a pro and an amateur. It is not about the money but about that level of commitment that is required to stay focused on tasks, and sometimes more than one at a time.

B: So the pro does not need to concentrate he just does it naturally?

F: No. Just assume that two guys are both naturally talented at something. What makes one win and the other lose?

B: Luck I guess. But I know kids at school who try really hard but still can’t get things right. It doesn’t seem right that one kid is lucky all the time.

F: Sometimes it is not luck. Sometimes hard work is not enough. And sometimes natural talent is not enough.

B: Like you can do math but you are not the best at it.

F: Well now that is true. But also I am better than most at math logic. But I had and have to work really hard at it. I call it the “if this then that” skill.

B: That idea about skill and talent is tough. God gives us talent but hard work gives us skill?

F: Good thought. Maybe a mixture?

So twelve weeks stuck with each other. Truly I use the word stuck as that is what it is. My wife and I have a routine, she stays up real late and I go to bed real early. So she has her space and I have mine. It provides a “break”. Let us face it 10 hours a day together in a home is plenty. The boy is in the middle so time with all three of us and time with either one of us alone. Works around here.

F: What is up with starting piano lessons during the middle of stay home stay safe?

B: Mom checked it out and my cousins go and it is very safe, just one on one.

F: But don’t they have to sit next to you? Are you going to take her temperature first?

B: Dad you don’t even worry about that stuff, you are just giving me a hard time.

F: No boy, it is like this. What your mom doesn’t want done she says no because of the covid. What your mom wants done is fine because of precautions. Get it? She can go to the dollar store with you but you can’t go to the hardware store with me.

B: Don’t say it, I know it! “Pick and Choose”. Or you say another one like “judging”. Like you really don’t judge on what you say but what you want.

F: Cool dude. “Justification”.

B: Ya that is it, “you can justify anything”. You say that to me with excuses. Hey what is the difference between an excuse and a justification?

F: That is for you to figure out on your own. You will know the difference. I can’t pull weeds because it is too hot.

B: Do you think that with me staying home I am dumber or smarter?

F: What do you think?

B: I think that I think more like you and mom than kids my age now.

F: Hmm. Perhaps we get to soon old and too late smart. So maybe.

B: I think you used to talk down to me a bit, now we just talk.

F: Is that age or circumstance I wonder. I just don’t know.

B: Me either.