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The Boy Teacher and the Father Student; Impeachment

Updated on November 19, 2019
Ericdierker profile image

Holding degrees in philosophy and Law. Formal studies or certificates or degrees in business, theology, insurance and security. Ex-preacher.

Clearly an Impeachable offense

So they got rid of this sign. You can let your dog poop now but it is impeachable if you do not pick it up.
So they got rid of this sign. You can let your dog poop now but it is impeachable if you do not pick it up. | Source

So Much Offense

Impeachment is a really cool term/word. In my home I have been impeached so many times. Impeachment for high crimes and misdemeanors. Impeachment on purely political grounds. Once I got impeached for getting the boy late from school. Saying something offensive to my elder children or using non-PC terms is impeachable.

My Gabe and I were laughing too hard about what is peachable. Or is it in peach apple? I am thinking seriously about a peach/apple/molasses/honey/cinnamon/clove/ cumin topping. My Godfather paid me to climb up and pick thempeachables. He paid me less because I ate too many. I think it was a dime for ten. If you have never sat fifteen feet up in an impeachable tree put on that list.

Off we go and life is so cool.

B: Dad I just loaded the laundry.

F: What the heck? Did you turn that damn washer on?

B: Yep, and I put in on “my cycle” and added have soap.

F: Alright then, may I double check? And that is “half” soap you moron hihihi

B: That is what I said.

F: I reckon you took out the garbage too.

B: Yep. And I want to cook an egg for dinner.

F: Boy, I did not ask you to do any of that. What is up?

B: I am going to do dishes tonight. OK?

F: Again I ask you what is up and what game is afoot?

B: Oh nothing.

F: I have my eyes on you, little punk.

B: OK, I want a Gecko for my terrarium. For your chosen day.

F: Wait I do not give YOU presents for my special day.

B: But dad you do not like presents. So I will give one for me.

F: “Chosen Day” is when I was adopted you do not get to usurp that day.

B: Hahaha, I know what “usurp” means. You taught it to me about mom and her deal in the kitchen.

F: Did I tell you today that I hate you?

B: No but that is about chess and who wins because you do not even hate spiders.

F: I still hate you, you moronic idiot, lame brain punk.

B: Too funny.

F: Hey we still have to talk about your scores in school and concentration.

B: I heard you ask the teacher about “attention deficit” something and she said I was just a normal kid.

F: Did I tell you that I don’t like you lately?

B: An hour ago. When I beat you in Nerf Gun war.

Democrocy Is Alive And Well, Son

Free to Fish

What a catch.
What a catch. | Source

Sitting and Not Paying Attention is Impeachable

Can you imagine writing at your desk for something important and a brat pops in and shoots you in the head with a soft dart? I should have spanked this child more often as a toddler. Alright I have never spanked him. My bad. I looked up “precocious”. That would be like a “C” in the world of Dierker. I am adamant that we do not do well in my home. We wake up sleepy eyed but within one hour we have a plan.

B: Dad, relax let me turn on your show. Here sit in your big chair, you look tired. Let me get you some water with lemon.

F: This is a set up boy.

B: Dad you just need to sit still and do what is best for your heartbeat and all that stuff.

F: Son I know what is up, do I look like an idiot? Do not answer that.

So the boy sets me up. Takes a running start from across the living room and jumps on me. Dang it he is now almost 100 pounds. The blow is crushing.

F: Too much fun boy but let me pause my show. This time I will block you.

B: Dad you are a lazy old man!

F: I know and you are going to attack me again.

B: Get ready old man, here I come.

Now I do not mean to embarrass anyone but the only real rule here is to cover your gonads.

F: Bring it on kid.

B: You are dead meat.

F: Son that one was pretty hard you maybe just might be too big for this game. This time do a flip and roll. I tell you I will kick your butt every time.

B: Dad you told me not to take easy. You said to take it hard or we do not grow. So get ready I am going to take you down this time.

F: Ouch! I think you bruised this old man. Now it is my turn I am going to take you down like a stuck frog.

B: No, No, No dad this is going to hurt too much.

F: Don’t be a sissypants. I am going to cause you pain. What are you doing with that blanket and pillow? You cheater peeter.

And our in house circus goes on.

Immigrant

Grandma Tam is Awesome
Grandma Tam is Awesome | Source

Well It Is Alrgiht Doing The Best You Can

Cast The First Stone Brother

I have a deal for this morning. Five tough words. “cut” “hurt” “life” “be” “who”. You do the math of how they can be used. Can you use all as nouns, or can you make them adjectives or adverbs? That is how the house of Dierker rocks over breakfast and we laugh too hard.

F: OK boy give me all the conjunctions of live.

B: Life, living, lived, lives? Lived, lives, leaf.

F: Not bad you repeated Lived. And very funny with leaf. You left out one.

B: What?

F: Lifed.

B: That is not a word.

F: Maybe it should be. I have lifed for a long while now.

B: You see dad that is why I get bad grades in vocabulary.

F: But your teacher at our conference said you did not do the testing but you have more words than all of your classmates. And she said that reading poetry was not tested. What the heck is that? Alright do like mom says and get do what they want.

B: Does that make you sad daddy?

F: No son, conformity is a fact of life. Learn that first. It is easy. It takes no effort and you work too hard. Do the easy stuff. And kick their ass. You know like 188 times 3. Do that first.

B: I do not want to do that.

F: Just get it done son. It only takes you about 1 hour a day. And then school. Remember you are half Asian. And they all get great grades.

B: That is so funny. It makes me laugh. What do say? stair a tipes?

F: Fine boy. It is crazy. You know how they look at me like your grandfather. You know that not one dad picking up his child has a doctorate like me. We just laugh and are never ashamed of who we are.

B: Dad, but still.

F: Check it out, your mom looks like she is 30 yet she is much older, so what is that about?

B: I get it but it is hard to deal with what my friends say.

F: Right on kid.

So Dierkers are not normal. And I lay down at night and pray God to never let me be normal. And I will not let my son be normal. We do not do “well”. Every Sunday has to be better than the last. But we will never “work” at that, it must be an is.

Tomorrow can we do better than today? Damn right we can, until our last dying breath, and then maybe we get an even better Sunday.

Comments

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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Oh my Manitita, I will spend time with elder boy with my younger. From the tide to food to music we will have a great time.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      20 months ago from london

      Quite a play on impeachment and its variables. Cool conversations with the kid as normal. Peace.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Kari there is one thing I 100% insist on. Learning must be fun. It must be an "I want to" deal. This is the core, and the responsibility Or as we laugh the apple core. .

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Mary I was raised in a home where an average grade in school would get you in trouble. Encyclopedias and National Geographic reading was required. My English teacher had to report that I missed some lines as a lead in Hamlet. Identifying species was also required.

      I like to say it was brutally fun.

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 

      20 months ago from Ohio

      Your son has become so big! I enjoy hearing about you two. I love that you will not teach "normal".

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 

      20 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      I really like your way of parenting. Yes, not good to raise the kid "normal". Look at many of us who strived for that when we were growing up. I wish I knew better.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Of course the rain is now non-stop and flooding is the new norm. At least the 50 mile an hour wind gusts have stopped. And your poem sounds like a peachy idea.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      20 months ago from Gondwana Land

      Good for you, send some rain this way. All I have heard all day is fire engine sirens screeching by. I needed to read this to get tips on the word impeachment as I have a request to write a poem on that topic in the style of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Maybe we will decorate the “imPEACHment Tree for Christmas.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      John we finally have the rain. The boy just called me. He is on his way to our base. 32nd Street San Diego. Our family stands tall and proud. Your comments always touch our hearts.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Devika, us Dierkers do pride and honor around here. He is off to get his hair cut at our Naval base. The Sargeant who cuts his hair is decorated with honors. That is how we roll.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      20 months ago from Gondwana Land

      I did try to reply to this twice but it still hasn’t shown up...some glitch...anyway, wonderful discussion with Gabe. Thanks for reading Jodah...lol.

    • profile image

      Devika Primic 

      20 months ago

      Parent and child conversation is important and you write and show that in your hubs. A brilliant teacher!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Patricia I learned a bit ago that we do not get choose who goes on our journey with us. We only get to choose how we love them. You love and it rings in our hearts.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      20 months ago from North Central Florida

      'stair a tipes'....O yes. I may have to steal that one, Eric. And never be ashamed of who we are...thank you for taking me on this journey with you. Angels are headed your way this afternoon ps

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda, that was my multiple doctorate father's favorite show. Too fun. Thanks for the reminder I have to turn Gabe on to it. I love the cliff falls the best.

      I washed my head in the rain this morning. Now does it get better in a desert?

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      20 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric, as I read about the "circus" in your house and your body under assault by Gabe, my thoughts wandered to Wyle Coyote and the Roadrunner. Don't know why. Maybe because the Coyote gets blown up or smashed again and again but he just comes back for more.

      I love you guys.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill on my fourth child they are all smarter than me. I hope that means I didn't block but did as you as a teacher and get the hell out of way.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      20 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank God nobody tried to impeach me for some of the nonsense I did about twenty years ago. I would have lost big time. :) Your son is smarter than I am, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. In fact, it gives me hope.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Life is good Clive although it is not..

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 

      20 months ago from Jamaica

      Impeaching the non Impeachable

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Pamela, we kind of do it backwards around here. Mom is hardcore on scores and lessons. That is good. I do more like teaching how to cook and just free think and bugs and such. // We live in strange times. A book from the library is more important than the Charge of The Light Brigade. Something to do with "common core scores". Don't look at me we are reading Jodah tonight.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      20 months ago from Sunny Florida

      I so enjoy reading the conversations between you and your precocious son. I think you got played in that first conversation, but that boy is clever. I think the communication you have with him is just precious and he succeeds because you push him to his limits.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      20 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ruby I have this wonderful child in DC. She is a mover and a shaker. She fills me in. It is wonderful to not get it from news but from someone right there.

      What can I say, without the facts, dad here gets impeached regularly. Instead of "water off a duck" Gave likes to say "water off a turtle". Hmmm.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      20 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I have never seen that video before. President Obama kissing the children made me miss him even more. Impeachment is serious business, listen to the facts and decide. I enjoyed your give and take with Gabe. Tell him he's a smart cookie...

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