The Joys Of A Chronic Cough

I have been coughing for about five months now.

There's no infection, repeated x-rays of my lungs show they're clear of any pneumonia, but they are inflamed, which in turn causes them to spam, which causes me to have a painful, dry cough.

Sometimes I cough so hard I vomit.

More than once I've coughed up blood.

I've had multiple ER trips this year. Been to several doctors. I've been on steroids and other medications including inhalers more times than I can count.

Anti-vaxxers will attack me on Instagram, claiming my cough is caused by being vaccinated and eating GMO food. They are, as usual, 100 BILLION percent wrong. Besides the fact that vaccines don't do any of the crap they claim and GMO food has been scientifically proven to be better than organic - there's just the fact my long term cough comes from long term exposure to mold.

So as to not get in trouble I won't say where I was exposed to mold, let's just say I'm not the only one suffering. I am, however, the one suffering the most out of all of us. But I know several people who are constantly complaining of sinus headaches, runny noses, and mild coughs. When we're away from this place, we start to recover. When we're back in it, we get worse. Yet there's no avoiding it and reporting it repeatedly has resulted in zero action being taken.

Now, on top of the cough, I've been suffering from laryngitis since November 1st. I've tried desperately to get into my Ears, Nose, & Throat doctor, but there's no openings until December. I've tried to get into other ENTs but either they're booked up or their phone numbers no longer work.

I find myself getting more and more desperate and depressed with every day that goes by. You see, I sing. I may not be famous for it, but I love it. Sometimes my weekly voice lessons are the only thing that keeps me sane. Now, I can't even hum let alone sing.

Every day with this hoarse, croaking voice I feel more and more certain that I will never sing again, even if that's not actually true. That the coughing has torn up my vocal cords so badly I'll always sound like a 50 pack a day smoker. The thought that the last thing I might have ever sung was a parody of Dolly Parton's Jolene where Jolene turns out to be an Eldritch creature fills me with sorrow. I mean, it's not even a very good recording as it's just my vocal coach and I messing around during lessons.

On top of that, part of me is seeing now why some people fall for "woo." The fact that no matter how many steroids I took, how many inhalers I sucked on faithfully, still didn't get rid of my cough in time to save me from the agony of laryngitis, makes me want to try all those things I know are nonsense. There's no scientific proof that those supplements sold in places like Sprouts and Whole Foods actually do a bit of good for the lungs or throat. Yet a part of me keeps whispering "Just try them. What can it hurt?"

It can hurt a lot though. Besides hurting the wallet, many of these products that people tote are dangerous. Let's take the "cancer treatment" black salve - it's actually burned off noses and holes deep into breast tissue. Or how about Miracle Mineral Solution? Anti-vaxxers give this to their children to "kill Autism causing parasites" despite the fact that it's actually an industrial strength bleach meant for bleaching wood pulp. Colloidal Silver has a lot more dangerous side effects besides just turning you into a Smurf. So many it really should be banned.

The fact is, using any so called "natural" cure is likely to do more harm than good.

I don't know what to do at this point. The cough is finally starting to calm down, but the laryngitis remains, and if I can never sing again I fear I will not find much worth living for outside of my fear of dying.