The Key To A Good Life.
In this life everyone has obligations, obligation as a parent, spouse, mother, father, sister, daughter, son, student, teacher, etc. As long as we live in a society, we have obligations, there is no getting away from it. Human beings are interdependent at best. No one is totally free. Even if you are totally alone with no family or friends, you still have obligation as a citizen.
All of us are obligated to something, there is no denying and yet, some of us are happy and some of us aren't. We all have obligations, it is not like the happy people in this world do not have them and the unhappy ones do. What makes the happy ones happy is honesty. Honesty over what kind of choices they want to obligate themselves too.
Yes there are some obligations which are not in our hand, such as the obligation of being a son/daughter or brother/sister, but how we choose to deal with them is what makes the difference. The key is to never be obligated even when we have them.
Never make your obligations rule your honesty. If you are unfortunate enough that you have abusive or bad parents or awful siblings who keeps mistreating you, you do not have to feel obligated towards them, especially if you have done your utmost to make amends and peace and yet you don't see any solutions or things are not getting any better then always be ready to pull the plug on them.
Eventually you will have to own yourself.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
Anyone who is honest with themselves and with others will always be happy inside, because they will have a clear conscience, they have nothing to hide. I find so many people miserable with their relationships and when I ask them why don't they just stop it they will just say something to the tune of "I am obligated."
I am not saying we should quit on someone because we had one heated argument with them. I have an argument with my wife every now and then but I find that I don't mind going through that with her. I love my obligation to her. I don't take it as a huge burden.
When it stops being worth it to go through hell over, then it is time to reconsider your sense of obligation.
You owe it to yourself to be honest. Your world should reflect you, not your fabricated lies. Many people obligate themselves for fear of dealing with rejections, or dealing with criticism, and so they surround themselves with people they don't like, marry the person they are not interested in but felt an obligation to. Do you have any idea how hard it is for a woman to say no when the man is on his knees proposing to her in front of a huge crowd? I find it seriously very cruel to put the woman in that position.
Sure if they are deeply in love and the woman has been giving hints about wanting to marry then it is a different story, but there are always these insensitive, over confident men who proposes and puts the woman in a very awkward situation. If the woman does not like him enough to want to marry him, they can definitely say no. To hell with his feelings of embarrassment, he asked for it. No one is under any obligation to say yes, and no one should ever feel that way. EVER.
You Go Girl.
There are no roads that leads to happiness. The road itself should be happiness. There is no going around that. Happiness is not a destination, it is a journey. Happiness is attained by having a clear conscience and to not feel caged towards anyone or anything. To surround ourselves with people we love, to find our passion and pursue it, to reach for the highest stars. To conquer all our fears.
This is happiness, we do not do things because we feel obligated. We do things because we want to do them. We love doing them and can do them for hours. A lot of people will come in your life criticizing what you like and what you don't, do not listen to them.
A lot of the people I know, if I tell them I go to Hubpages every night and write an article, they will tell me "you do realize school was over a long time ago right? why on earth are you still doing creative writing?" So frankly I do not tell anyone about this little hobby of mine. If I tell them that education begins after school they will label me as a smart aleck. So I keep shut and I write, I am happy when I write and I would like to keep it that way, I don't need naysayers bogging me down and judging me as arrogant or obnoxious.
Obligation can lead to misery, it is a product of our fear, we are obligated only to a certain extent. Know the line between keeping an obligation and letting it go. Yes you will go through hard times, you will fail, but during all this you will be smarter, wiser, and you will learn when to let go and when to hold on to something.
I do not know how much this Hub will help. I have read many self-help bestsellers, and I find they helped only a little. The only way to get the most out of it is to implement it in your life. Reading and then not doing anything about it is just useless. Time to take action and decide to be happy!