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The bonus of Pregnancy

Updated on February 18, 2013

The Miracle of Life

The Joys of Pregnancy

Morning sickness, feeling bloated, Heartburn, Hemorrhoids, back pain, breast pain, swollen ankles, feeling faint, constipation, headaches, tiredness and mood swings; these are some of the things that you can look forward too from conception through to the birth of your child, Oh the Joys!

The miracle of life is happening inside your body and you are paying for it big style your body is in revolt and it gets you down and this is just the build up to the big event.

Excruciating pain a feeling of being torn in two, try pushing a water melon through the eye of a needle, and then baby is here, remember that needle? they will use that to stitch you up after that little head tears you apart without the use of anisthetic.

Childbirth is the miracle of life but as they say miracles dont come easy.

Most women that i know who have given birth all say that it was worth every bit of suffering, that as soon as they saw their new son or daughter all of the pain and suffering was forgotten forever.

Yeah Right At every opportunity they get together with their girlfriends they re-live every gory detail and compare what each other went through from conception to birth each trying to out do the other and scaring the pants off of their girlfriends who have yet to experience the miracle of childbirth for themselves.

Of course Pregnancy is not all bad and it gives you an excuse to do things that you normaly wouldnt even think about doing and you can get away with it because you are pregnant.

Ten Perks of Pregnancy

Being pregnant is not an illness but you will find that some of the people around you treat you differently as though you were seriously ill, they wont let you lift a finger to help, they wont let you carry heavy bags and God forbid you if you even try to do something exciting like cleaning the outside windows of your home you will be shot down in flames.

This is the time you begin to realise that pregnancy has its advantages as well as its many downsides, this is the time that you realise that you can do so many things that you wouldn't dare do if you were not pregnant and because you are pregnant you can get away with it without anyone batting an eyelid.

10) Manners are thought to be a thing of the past but during your pregnancy you will find strangers holding doors opened for you and offering you their seat on the bus.

9) You are allowed to cry during romantic movies or true stories when you are pregnant without being teased about it by your darling other half, your hormones during pregnancy make you a little over emotional sometimes.

8) Playing with all of the toys in your local toy store research is important you know.

7) You get to shop till you drop and your partner cannot say a word about it, highchair, cot , stroller etc etc.

6) Morning sickness can have its upside too, you can tell your partner that he will have to do the cooking because you are feeling nauseous.

5) You get to flip out at your partner for no reason whatsoever and he will let you get away with it blaming your hormones again, How dare he bring you a strawberry tart when you have a craving for chocolate.

4) Talking of Chocolate you can eat as much of it as you desire without feeling guilty about it because the baby wants it.

3) You can go to bed at 9pm and then sleep till lunchtime the next day because this pregnancy business can be very tiring.

2) Shopping again how good is it having to buy a whole new wardrobe to last the 9 months of your pregnancy it makes you feel so good and the positive vibes from you are picked up by the baby.

1) Last on the list but well worth the wait the best thing about being pregnant is that you get to fart as much as you want in public and if anyone looks at you all you do is smile and say it wasn't me it was the baby. what more could anyone ask for an excuse to save you the embarrassment of farting makes the whole pregnancy worth while.

BabytheJock Scan Picture

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Pregnancy Update

If you have read any of my recent articles you will know that my wife is pregnant with child number four and that most of my recent articles have been baby related.

last week Alison had an ultrasound scan and we discovered the sex of our little miracle.

Everything is running smoothly and as expected and our baby is due into this world on August 21st 2010.

If you would like to know the sex of our unborn child I will tell you later when there are 10 correct votes in the poll.

we are getting very excited and have already chosen a name for the baby and as a clue the baby is named after a Hubpages friend of mine.

Thankyou to everyone who has been asking me to update the information.

Comments

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    • innerspin profile image

      Kim Kennedy 

      5 years ago from uk

      I was rather hoping for a free knitting pattern of the lady giving birth. Oh well. The hub is so true, I had my babes years ago but it does stick in the mind....good empathy from a bloke, well done.

    • Brett.Tesol profile image

      Brett Tesol 

      6 years ago from Asia

      Great article, brutally honest and funny too. A mate has just been through this with his wife (and many parts you kindly skipped lol), but it is definitely worth it in the end.

      Up, funny, awesome, shared, and tweeted.

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 

      8 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Congratulations on your baby...fart...boy! I thoroughly enjoyed this 'ode to pregnancy,' since my first grandson is due a month after yours.

      You're one funny guy, Jimmy!

    • jimmythejock profile imageAUTHOR

      James Paterson 

      8 years ago from Scotland

      Hi Elayne001, I feel I have to respond to your comment "Sounds like you are a bit bitter or jealous about all the attention your wife has been getting with her pregnancies"

      I have never been either bitter or jealous at my wife at any time let alone when she has been pregnant, I am excited and happy and looking forward to little Jason joining us in August and this article was written in fun with no malice or bad intentions.....jimmy

    • profile image

      Jordy 

      8 years ago

      ha,ha that picture is a great hook. Nice article! Flipping out on the husband is not cool. We endure so much while the ladies are pregnant.

    • jjmyles profile image

      jjmyles 

      8 years ago from Pacific Northwest

      Fun Hub! Your wife must enjoy your sense of humor about the pregnancy.

    • elayne001 profile image

      Elayne 

      8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      Sounds like you are a bit bitter or jealous about all the attention your wife has been getting with her pregnancies. Maybe you could trade next time and have it for her. I've heard that kidney stones can cause almost as much pain for a man as a woman having a baby. I have seen grown men scream in pain as I worked in a Urology clinic. Not a pretty site. Like your crocheted lady giving birth.

    • Purple Perl profile image

      Purple Perl 

      8 years ago from Bangalore,India

      Congrats on expecting your 4 th little miracle,jimmy.

      Jason is really very fortunate to have parents such as you and your wife.

      Among the ten perks listed above, I loved the shop till you drop for the feel good factor,and of course, being able to fart in public.

    • jimmythejock profile imageAUTHOR

      James Paterson 

      8 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks for your comments and votes guys and gals our unborn baby is a .........boy well guessed you guys who got it correct.

      Jason Daniel Paterson will be his name when he pops out to see us.....jimmy

    • profile image

      ellinor 

      8 years ago

      Dear Jimmy.

      I think you and your wife are wery fortunate-I am a bit envious.

    • profile image

      U Neek 

      8 years ago

      Your wife is very lucky to have a man who so understands the rules of the perks of pregnancy! Fun read. Can't wait to hear about the new little on.

    • entertianmentplus profile image

      entertianmentplus 

      8 years ago from United States

      Awesome hub very good read-Thanks

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      Excellent hub and from a man. This is amazing. Well done, jimmythejock.

    • livelonger profile image

      Jason Menayan 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Well-written and, as always, very amusing. :)

    • jimmythejock profile imageAUTHOR

      James Paterson 

      8 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks for your comment Rebekah, glad that you enjoyed my little article lol i am eagerly awaiting those votes, have fun and take care.....jimmy

    • rebekahELLE profile image

      rebekahELLE 

      8 years ago from Tampa Bay

      lol. only a well-experienced father could write this hub! nicely written, and yes, it brings back the memories. I voted-- girl? 7 more people need to vote! well wishes to the family. :]

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