- Quality of Life & Wellness
The Pressure to be Perfect and the Impact of Bullying
The Pressure to be Perfect
Have you ever felt like you didn't fit in? Have you ever felt lost, alone, or isolated? Have you ever felt not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or talented enough? If so, you are one of the many people who share these same feelings, yet, when a single person battles these feelings, she or he often feel alone. Society is currently demanding so much from us that we often feel as if we can never live up to its expectations. However, have you ever asked yourself, just why are we expected to be a certain weight or height, or expected to be perfect at every single thing we do? The truth is, these expectations are absolutely impossible. In fact, these expectations are nothing but one big joke. Yet, it's these very expectations that often drive people to engage in drastic actions such as, starving themselves, changing their faces with plastic surgery, slathering on loads of make-up, wearing clothes that he or she does not feel comfortable wearing, or even bringing someone to the point of suicide.
I haven't written a hub in awhile, however, I have spent some time pondering many different topics; this one, however, is one that I see everyday and is becoming a bigger and bigger problem everyday. Also, being a psychology major, I follow and study this topic, and see the true importance of it. By writing this hub, I hope to not only open the eyes of those dying to be perfect, those who are bullied, family or friends of someone who is bullied, or even the bully him or her self, but to also encourage these people to change. Now when I say change, it does not mean changing who you are, it simply means changing the person you have become, the person who is not really you, and go back to the person you were, where none of this mattered at all.
The Origin of Perfection
At a very young age, children are taught about perfection. The hero of the story is always the beautiful princess or the handsome prince. Many little girls will sit in front of a mirror applying make-up to their little faces, even if its just plastic pieces of pretend make-up; this is training them for their future. Little boys are often told to never show what is truly bothering them through emotion; perhaps this is why a lot of bullying goes unreported, for boys at least. In many sports, there is competition, backstabbing, and pressure to be the very best. And the sad thing is, this is all happening at a very young age, therefore, it is instilled into a child at this young age, to be the very best. Does this mean parents are to blame? Not always, sometimes parents cannot control what their children learn, whether it's at school, on TV, the Internet, a magazine, or just walking down the street. The pressure from society is literally everywhere and there is almost no escape from it. Many children fall into these expectations with no knowledge of how dangerous it truly is. While taking into consideration that there is almost no controlling what a child is exposed to, it is the parent's duty to talk to his or her child about this issue and to keep an eye out to see if any of this pressure is getting to the child.
The Impact of Bullying
What is bullying?
Bullying can be defined through the following actions....
Spreading rumors about someone
Isolating a certain person or group of people.
Any physical harm on an individual, such as hitting, punching, kicking, etc.
- Cyberbullying, such as using the Internet or mobile device to abuse someone.
Victims of Bullying
A victim of bullying can be any age, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religion. Most bullying occurs during the school years of someone's life. Bullying can stem out of jealousy, the need for power, or for a variety of reasons. A bully loves nothing more than to bring the victim down; if the victim gives into the bullying by not reporting it or doing whatever the bully says, this will only encourage the bully to continue his or her harmful actions, as he or she is winning the "battle".
How to spot bullying
Even if you are not a victim of bullying, it is important to know the warning signs of those who are bullied, for you may be a vital role in saving a life. The warning signs may include the following....
- Displays signs of depression, sadness, or anger
- Bruises, cuts, or scars on the victims body.
- Changes in eating habits (either less or more).
- Speaking about suicide
- Poor school performance
- Spending less time with family and friends.
- Speaks of him or her self in a negative way.
- Complains of headaches or nausea.
- Seems very stressed or nervous.
- Isolates him or her self.
Remember, bully victims may display some of these signs, all, or even none of them; that is why it is important for parents to talk to their children and be open with them. Some people may be suffering from bullying and no one knows of it. This type of issue may be very easy to detect or very hard to detect. The fact of the matter is, bullying is way more common than you think, therefore, it must be recognized and taken seriously. In fact, you may be the victim of bullying and not even know it....yet.
The Correlation between the strive for perfect and the abuse of bullying
You may be asking why I am correlating both of these topics. Well, it is for the simple fact that both of these issues can lead to a person's sense of worthlessness, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, or even the person's own demise. Both of these issues can affect the individual internally and externally. No one may know of how much the individual is suffering inside. Both of these issues are very scary things. Bullying can lead to a person striving to be perfect. Perhaps bullies are taking cues from society's expectations and are using them as weapons against their targets. Many bullies find their actions enjoyable while watching their victims suffer. This only makes the victim feel more insecure.
There is always hope!
Putting an end to the pressure of being perfect as well as bullying.
For all of those out there who are reading this while feeling insecure, bullied, depressed, or alone, I hope this has given you some insight to how you can overcome this. Remember, never give into feelings that you are worthless because you are NOT. Words are only words and the truth is, people will say things that are untrue and just because they say it, it doesn't mean that it is true. If you are being bullied, do NOT be afraid to ask for help because there is a way out. Never let threats take control of you. If you contact the proper authorities, the bullier can get in trouble. You can even report it anonymously if you have a fear of the bully finding out. NEVER feel like you are alone!
If you feel that someone you know is the victim of depression from trying to be perfect or the victim of bullying, please please please report it and get help for that individual. Never allow someone to develop a psychological disorder such as depression or an eating disorder, or speak of taking his or her own life without making sure he or she receives psychological help. If you suspect any of this, please talk to the individual and find him or her the help he or she needs. You may just save a life!