- Quality of Life & Wellness
The Pros and Cons of Having an Ulterior Motive
Adults VS Children
Have you ever sat and wondered why our life is not as happy and joyful as it used to be? It seems that nowadays we need to think before taking a step for everything, there is not a carefree, risk-free moment. The reason for this might be having an ulterior motive for all the things you do.
Remember when we were children? we spoke our minds, our actions were a reflection of what we truly are. If we were angry we would not hesitate to throw a tantrum, similarly if we were happy we would not hesitate to brighten up the whole room. We had no ulterior motives, our motivation and our actions were synced. We had no fear, and little did we know that the adults around us were a little bit envious by our courage to speak our hearts and they wished that they could do the same.
Problem with children is that they spoke too soon and to honestly. They are not the best when it comes to keeping secret. If they have a secret about you, you might noticing them looking at your and maybe giggling or sulking depends on what they have on you, but they are not good at hiding it. It is why your wife knows that you sneaked to the fridge last night to have a scoop of Ben and Jerry's.
Ulterior motives can give you the ability to make or break someone's life. It is how smart you handle them. We are adults now, and the more I think about this I have come to think of it as a developmental process from child to adulthood. As we grow we start adapting to society, and our ability to have ulterior motives is one of the ways our brains have wired us to survive. So here I will weigh on on the pros and cons of ulterior motives.
Is it a Good thing or a Bad Thing?
There is nothing absolutely good or absolutely bad. Generally, what we deem to be beneficial for us and our people we consider good and something that is not beneficial to us is considered bad. Consider smoking, it is not good for us, but it is very good for the cigarette company.
So having an ulterior motive if used to a good purpose is a very good and strong advantage to have indeed. Telling our kids to leave our house when they are grown up might seem harsh to some people, they might judge us harshly thinking that we do not love our own kids, but we tell them to leave so they can flourish and stand on their own two feet. It is something called tough love.
Tough love is a good example of ulterior motive. It looks like our intention is to kick our children out, but our motive is so that they can mature and be independent. Similarly there are people who seem to want to please us and make our lives comfortable but in reality they want to gain our trust so they can stab us in the back or cheat us. Trust me. This has been known to happen. The story of the Trojan Horse is a very good example of this.
Also a good example is how the Portuguese managed to conquer Brazil. Unlike Spain, who tried to conquer them with brute force and failed, the Portuguese did not conquer Brazil with brute force but by providing them with comfortable facilities and wealth, to the extend that Brazil had to be dependent on them. Of course they gave brazil comfort and wealth to they can end up ruling them once they became dependent, they did not do this out of pure love and kindness. This is why majority of the people of Brazil now speaks Portuguese language.
If you're actually allowing your creative part to control your writing rather than a more commercial instinct or motive, then you'll find that all sorts of interesting things will bubble up to the surface.
-Emma Thompson, British Actress and Screenwriter.
What Are The Pros and Cons?
As far as pros and cons go, it depends on the motive itself. If the motive is a bad one it will obviously be a con if it is good it will be a pro. Eventually ulterior motive is just that-an ulterior motive.
There is a motivation for what ever it is that we do. We eat because we are hungry, we sleep because we are sleepy. Having an ulterior motive is eating with someone even though we aren't hungry, but we eat with them because we want to befriend them and get close to them.
It is always important to keep our motivation in check, we should be able to know what it is we want. Why we write on Hubpages? Is it because we love its community and because we love writing, if so we can slowly but surely succeed. If it is about the money, it won't be long till we will be disheartened, and loose all hope.
It is one thing I always keep in check as far as writing go, I make sure that I will not get distracted by my earnings. I won't even open the page where they show my earnings, it will just be a distraction.
The main thing in measuring integrity is someone's motive and intent, not how many records they sell. Our intent in Ministry was never to be big. We just wanted to make enough money to live and to buy a studio, which we have done in Austin.
- Al Jourgensen
Artists Vs Politicans
Why are artists more popular compared to politicians? Because people are drawn by an artists honesty, when they sing they express and bare their soul, there is no ulterior motive there. You just know when an artist has an ulterior motive, they won't be as appealing as a true artist who does it from the heart without any ulterior motive, it is refreshing and energizing watching them perform.
Whereas if you see a politician and the way they speak it is just repulsive at times. Any time you ask them a yes or no question, they will give you a lengthy answer without the word 'yes' or 'no' in them and just make us more confused. Politics have no place for the heart. A politician with a heart never lives a long life. Look at Malcolm X, Martin Luther, Gandhi, JFK, Benigno Aquino,Jr they all died a tragic death. It is only a place for ulterior motives, you will never listen to politicians give a direct and simple answer. It is the fact and it will always be like that.
This is why I refrain from watching the news and I live my life the best way I can. The news is just a never ending nonsense showing politicians covering one lie with another lie, it is an endless vicious cycle that ends when the politician dies. In which case another liar will take his place and continue rambling. Here is one now, dodging questions like a pro footballer: