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The Reality of Pregnancy, Labor and Delivery

Updated on June 5, 2013
The smile comes from the knowledge that the pregnancy is almost over.
The smile comes from the knowledge that the pregnancy is almost over. | Source

The Reality of Pregnancy, Labor and Delivery

Everyone says that pregnancy, labor and delivery are a miracle, a special time for a mother and her family; a time of joy, happiness, euphoria, and excitement. People swoon over pregnant women, rubbing their large bellies, giving congratulations with a wide and bright smile, and asks about due dates, gender, names, and how excited the new mother to be is. No one ever seems to explain the difficulties, the hardships, the hemorrhoids, the urine incontinence, the pain, the vomiting, the lack of sleep, and the constant discomfort. Pregnancy, labor and delivery are indeed a joyous and miraculous time in any womans life (and for her family members) but it is truly a difficult, painful, uncomfortable, and at times, a completely miserable experience in life.

Pregnancy is not for Pansies

Being pregnant is not for everyone and it is most definitely not for pansies who can not tolerate pain, farting, bloating, vomiting, sweating, bleeding, raging and uncontrollable hormones, being kicked from the inside, or the thought of something that seems so alien growing inside of a person just to have it explode out of the vagina in nine months. Pregnancy is disgusting, painful, annoying, tedious, time consuming, and extremely labor intensive. Even though becoming pregnant for the first or the last time is quite an exciting time one should know and understand that it is not a fun time but it is indeed a sweaty, gassy, achy, cramping and swelling time of uncontrollable crying, anger, laughter, and peeing in your underwear (and always packing an extra pair before you leave) for nine whole months and you are not even allowed to drown your pain and sorrows in a well deserved glass of wine.

People always say that pregnant women have a special and beautiful glow. Well, when one is up all night racing to the bathroom to pee and throw up (sometimes simultaneously), have been tossing and turning to find a comfortable position without a foot getting lodged into their rib cage, waking up in a puddle of sweat, and starting the day with severe morning sickness, they are bound to glow, and smell a little too. Not only does one have a perspiration induced glow to the face, but pregnancy also causes acne, funky body odor, hair loss, bleeding gums, and in rare cases even tooth decay. A pregnant woman has to worry about urine incontinence, hemorrhoids, swelling of the hands and feet, sore and tender breasts and nipples, and embarrassing, uncontrollable, sometimes explosive and very public farts. If one is a pansy, it would be suggested that one should look into surrogacy.

Labor and Delivery is Not Entirely Beautiful

If one person has heard it, everyone has, people claim that labor and delivery is a beautiful and magical experience, but the truth of the matter is, it is not beautiful, it is bloody, sweaty, painful, and some women even poop on the bed. Labor and delivery looks like a scene straight from an alien horror film and feels like it too. Even though it truly is a magical experience, the joy does not settle in until ones vagina is sown back together, fully healed, and when the newborn is sleeping so ones nipples do not feel like they are going to crack and fall off.

Labor is a back breaking, vagina stretching, and filled with unbearable pain that is completely unavoidable when one becomes pregnant. When one goes into labor, the uterus cramps, tenses, and feels like it is about to explode. The pain is mind numbing, making it impossible to think or even breathe. The pain can not be compared to any other one may feel in life. The pain will make one feel dizzy, sick, tired, and angry, but when it is all over pure euphoria will pour out of ones heart and make one cry in a very different way when one sees their child for the very first time lying in their arms. Followed by the bloody, grotesque mess the placenta makes in a bucket on the floor at the end of ones hospital bed, of course.

The Process is Disgusting but the Outcome is Beautiful

Pregnancy, labor, and delivery is a very hard, mind numbing, painful, and sickening process but if one desires a child, someone needs to get pregnant and birth the child and that means going through the difficulties and hardships that will be presented. Even though the experience of pregnancy of birthing a child is far from satisfactory, the outcome is quite possibly the most beautiful and warming feeling that one could ever hold in their arms. After the pain has ceased, the beauty comes to light. When one holds their new baby in their arms for the first time, the storm clouds part, the sun shines down, creating light and love on a brand new day. Even though pregnancy, labor and delivery feels like walking through the depths of hell, one will realize that they have actually reached the highest heaven when it is all over.

Even though pregnancy sucks, the outcome is the most precious person in the entire universe.
Even though pregnancy sucks, the outcome is the most precious person in the entire universe. | Source
The hell is over, now one can walk into heaven, deflated.
The hell is over, now one can walk into heaven, deflated. | Source

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well my friend, this has nothing to do with me, but it was enjoyable to read and I loved the pictures. :)

    • JamiJay profile image
      Author

      Jami Johnson 3 years ago from Somewhere amongst the trees in Vermont.

      :) Even though you have not experienced it first hand I very much appreciate you reading it and commenting. Your insight is always appreciated. Also, if you have children I am sure you have noticed the difficulties women go through while trying to birth a healthy and happy child.

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      Good thing I don't have first hand experience in pregnancy. But as I saw my wife get bigger and bigger and endure the pain involved, I have greater respect for women and mothers. Sometimes I think my wife is part ninja because of her tolerance to the discomfort and pain. Husbands need to be more active during their wife's pregnancy. After all, having a family is a shared responsibility.

    • JamiJay profile image
      Author

      Jami Johnson 3 years ago from Somewhere amongst the trees in Vermont.

      haha, maybe your wife is part ninja, or maybe all women are :) I agree that men and/or husbands should be active members in the pregnancy, labor, and delivery since a family is a shared responsibility. My boyfriend was very active in keeping me sane during that time in my life (well, he tried as best he could, my hormones were a little difficult to deal with, haha). Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 3 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      Oh I know about the dreaded hormones. :)

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 3 years ago from San Francisco

      It looks like you held up well. Thank you for this.

    • JamiJay profile image
      Author

      Jami Johnson 3 years ago from Somewhere amongst the trees in Vermont.

      I did survive, but that doesn't mean it was a fun ride, and you are welcome for this :) thanks for reading and commenting!

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      My doctor left me in the hospital bed in back labor all night long, not allowing anyone to let me up as I should have been and then he waltzed in at 10 am and induced labor. I said never again, but life does have its little surprises. I made sure it had no more.

      You should give classes on this lol.

    • JamiJay profile image
      Author

      Jami Johnson 3 years ago from Somewhere amongst the trees in Vermont.

      Jackie, that is crazy. When I was in labor the nurses sent me home saying it was false labor (even though I was only 2 days before my due date). I got home and the pain was so bad I could not stop from vomiting, and I got so dehydrated I had no energy to even roll over. When my boyfriend call the hospital for the second time they said I had to come in right away for fluids because of dehydration. It took three bags of fluid before I even felt slightly normal but the pain was excruciating, so I opted for the epidural. Not a pleasant experience.

      I would be up for teaching a class on this, I think that would be fun :) I think I would need my BA first though.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Sorry I just now got back, lol. My second baby experience was more like normal although I was not allowed anything for pain because that effects the baby they said until they were making an appearance. I say if they can't numb you below the waist just take a fist to the chin! lol

      There was a woman in my room who gave birth and in no time was b-bopping to the radio and pigging down sweets. I was so zapped even being on high powered vitamins! Sure was the sweetest years of my life raising those two babies though...well until they hit teens!

      I was in Vermont in my teens, a beautiful place. Just a little too much winter for me.

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