The fear of being alone 101
You probably seen people who stay in relationships that are bad and you ask yourself why? Or people who just go from person to person constantly and you wonder why can't they just be in a serious relationship? Lets explore those thoughts for a second, what is the first thought that comes to mind? To me its fear. Let's explore the word fear for a second. Fear is a negative emotion that causes distress. It is a psychological handicap. Meaning it is so distressing to the mind it becomes a handicap because it prevents the person from thinking in a clear frame of mind. Now with that being said lets go to feeling number two. Loneliness. Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling in which a person feels a strong sense of emptiness and solitude resulting from feeling socially inadequate. Another psychological handicap. Again these emotions when they work together create a very powerful feeling of desperateness. Now hold on for a minute. Lets examine the word desperate. Having lost all hope, spirit crying for relief, moved by despair, suffering from extreme anxiety, extreme intensity. Huge psychological handicap! So if you originally thought that the person who stays with someone out of fear of being alone is not in their right mind you are correct. Now i will future examine how the fear of being alone effects people. Keep in mind the cocktail of psychological handicaps that is at play in this person's mind.
Monophobia is having an acute fear of being alone, or having to cope with without a specific person or perhaps any person. This 'closeness' that the person needs might mean in the same house or apartment or even the same room. Monophobia is often seen as part of agoraphobia cluster. People with Agoraphobia typically suffer from a cluster of phobias, they will find it very difficult to or impossible to carry out certain activities. Such as going into crowded places or public places, public transport, or simply anywhere from home where they can "escape." They probably will fear standing in places they feel "trapped" like such as hairdressers, dentist, over bridges or sitting in public places. Monophobia/Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder and they can't be talked or bullied out of their problem. It is not an anxiety that its intent is to cause harm to anyone, it is mistakenly trying to help. Telling them, wrongly, that they are in danger being alone. If you feel you are or someone else is suffering from this then you should speak with your doctor immediately. (or call them)
You heard people say that even now i sometimes hate them, but it pains me to say, that i know that i will be there at the end of the day. A lot of people are so afraid of being alone that they will swallow down the hate they feel for someone because they hang onto the good times. Then the people who just look for sex from people because they have such a deep regret in their heart from the way things ended from the last person that they much rather just take the good but not the headache. When people are alone their mind goes into a private space where they process what has happened. Much like when you go to sleep. This could be very painful if you are suppressing what has happened. Meaning that "wall" you put up when it happened that you didn't feel much emotions at the time. That wall is suppression. Suppression means the conscious of intentional exclusion from consciousness of thoughts or feelings. Those feelings of regret and hate are real. That fear of being alone is real. If you don't face them you are taking yourself from your normal state of mind and creating a reality that does not exist.
I could go on and on telling you that you have to bigger than fear, regret, and hate. I won't though. I want to pause and switch gears for a minute. As another human being I know how easy it is to create a reality that sure is a hell of a lot better than your present one. How you try to get that other person into this reality because you dream how good it could be. Let me tell you the honest truth here. If you keep that reality/dream going you will never get over this person. You will never be able to be alone and focus on what you have to do. Being alone is hard because the handicaps you will feel. I can only tell you that it gets better if you allow it too. You have to fight yourself. You have to tell yourself that you happier alone than being chained to a devil. These are the things a doctor will tell you in more educated words. Remember everything happens for a reason. If your alone for awhile 2 years from now you might be happily married with kids. The possibilities are endless. You can't do that if you let these handicaps defeat you. Thank you for reading feel free to leave comments at the bottom of the page if you wish. :)
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