The maturing of a soul

I have diligently spent the past seven years of my life desperately trying to mature my soul. When I start to give that statement some thought it starts to sound rather crazy. What is a soul? What does it do? The truthful answer to that question is that no one really knows for sure what the soul is, or what it does. There are plenty of guru's philosophers and new age teachers out there today which will tell you what their interpretation of the soul is, but it's simply just one person's version. I suppose that what I have really been trying to do for the past seven years is become a better person and a more well-rounded human being. I was also surprised after doing some searching that there are many others on this quest with me.

This task, after undertaking it, you will soon find out is not a simple one. When I first wanted to become a better human being I suddenly found myself confronted with small and sometimes not so small tests to help me achieve my goal. I always used to say that our Creator must have really loved assholes because he sure did make a lot of them. I recently had a friend tell me that there isn't a lot of them; they are just strategically placed throughout our week to see how were going to deal with them. Each encounter is a second chance for us to mature into a better person. It gives us the opportunity to use them as a mirror for refection. It forces us to stop and take notice. Did we find any of our own ways in their behavior? How we deal with them and the situation gives us a way to measure our own progress. If we failed we are given yet another chance to try again.

One of my most desired goals has been to be the calm in the middle of the storm. Inside every tornado there is the circle, or center of stillness and calm. When my life seems out of control and everything seems to be flying in circles around me, I want to be able to stay in that circle of calm. I so desperately want for things not to throw me off balance as intensely as they normally do. I have heard teachers say that the best way to reach this peaceful enlightenment calm stage is to search within ones self. One must take the time to meditate, find solitude and time to reflect alone.

The second set of teachers instruct us to go outward in order to grow and mature. They say that unless you’re in a relationship, you do not get to flex those much needed; love forgiveness and passion muscles. If you’re not interacting with the world, everything else is theory. No one that I know has issues with relationships when their not in a relationship!

I recently saw a status message on a Facebook page that read: Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on, the more it hurts. One of the friends on the list intelligently responded by telling her to simply stop hugging the cactus! This message and its response got me thinking that some things in life are truly that simple. We are the ones who choose to make them more difficult then they need to be.

I work from home, so it's very simple for me not to have to interact with other people. It's extremely easy for me to give advice on how to deal with others because I don't have to. I think it’s safe to say that issues for most, tend to arise when we leave the comforts of our own home and venture out to deal with the public. I know that I still have problems with rudeness. I find small talk and chit chat senseless and meaningless and can't seem to engage in it. I also find it harder and harder these days to receive eye contact from people, let alone expect to receive any kind of meaningful interactive conversation.

One of the wonderful things that I have uncovered along the way has been the dynamics of my own physical energy. I’ve noticed that when we take control of our own energy and thoughts before entering into a room or situation, the outcome of that situation always tends to turn out more pleasingly in our favor. Somehow when we enter into a situation with scattered, frustrated or angry energy and thoughts the outcome is never a pleasant one.

So how does one go about maturing the soul? Is it possible, or even worth it? How do we find that calm in the center of every storm? Do we enter into a friend, work and loving relationship in order to flex our muscles and grow, or do we go inward to that place of stillness in order to find ourselves before we let others find us? Perhaps it's both or it might be neither. I suppose it’s a good thing that we have a lifetime to find out.