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4 Reasons Why People Share Secrets

Updated on March 29, 2012
Psst...... do you wanna know a secret?
Psst...... do you wanna know a secret? | Source

When it comes to sharing secrets there are a number of reasons that make people want to share their secrets or other people’s secrets. This can be due to a number of reasons, some people not being trustworthy since it’s just in their nature to disclose others secrets so that they feel better about themselves, sometimes people share secrets because they can not handle the burden of knowing a secret that weighs heavily on them and have no one else to share it to, this can result to people getting hurt if the secret is shared to the wrong people.

  1. People share secrets because they want to express themselves. Researchers have found that expressing ones own secrets or experience is a compelling need. The researches found that the critical parts of experience s are encoded or retained at a non verbal form in the form of images, bodily movements, and affect-related visceral changes (such as churning stomach or racing heart). These non-verbal forms remain the focus of attention until they can be assimilated and put into words, particularly when the experiences are more emotionally intense. People experience emotion when their anticipation of how the world should operate is disrupted. When these disruptions are so intense and the assumptions that a person has about the self and the world are challenged, the sure and only way to make sense of all this, a person is motivated to interact with another person as a means to confirm or dis-confirm the beliefs that he had and which have been challenged so that he may reconstruct his assumptions about the world.
  2. People share secrets to other people as a way of protecting what they have or the people they love. There are several occasions that you can feel actually safe talking to a friend about a secret that you can not disclose to your spouse just because the secret is about something that if you decide to tell your spouse it might be the end of your relationship or it could do a lot of damage not only to you but also to the whole family. For example a husband does not like the way his wife gets angry when he drinks, but because he loves his wife he does not tell her that he occasionally sneaks out to grab a beer with friends so that he does not lose his wife or start a quarrel. He wishes if he could go back to those days when he had the freedom of doing whatever he wants without being judged by anyone.
  3. People share secrets to build relationships. Human beings are social creatures and they always strive to build relationships, it does not matter if it’s healthy or not but as long as it’s a relationship. Sharing a secret is one way of getting to build such kind of relationship since the parties have something in common. Sharing a secret first means that a person trusts the person to whom he shares his secret to. Holding onto a secret for a long time is burdensome and because we are social creatures we always find someone whom we can share our secrets with, this on one hand makes us vulnerable if the person whom you just shared your secret with is not trustworthy, but on the other hand it can bring the two closer since they share a secret that no other person on the planet knows about. For instance in a family in which two members know a certain secret that no one else in the family knows about, these two will always tend to be close since they share and have something in common.
  4. People can share secrets because they need help. When a secret does not present any kind of danger now there is no need for people to share it, but in case such secret has the potential of causing damage later the one holding a secret will look for someone to share that secret so that he can get advice and be comforted. Holding onto a secret alone sometimes does more harm than good to you or others but also telling a secret at the wrong time can have the same effect of doing harm than good. You should know the right time to share a secret and the right person to share it with.


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