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The Truth About Teen Sex: Who’s Doing It?

Updated on June 15, 2007

It's hard to talk about, hard to think about. We don't even want to tell our kids about the biology of sex so how are we supposed to talk to them about sexual behavior? This is an area parents need to Get Over It and get out there and start talking to kids. Maybe these disturbing truths will get you started.

Your Child May Be Having Sex

If you're lucky enough that your child tells you absolutely everything, congratulations. But you probably wouldn't be reading this article if you were 100% confident. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Think about it, do you go around talking about your sex life? Maybe not. Some kids may be having sex and not talking about it, while others may be talking about it all the time (to their friends) but not doing it at all. Whatever the case, the more you talk about it the better. It may be terribly embarrassing for you and your kids, but it's worth it.

Teen Sex Parties

Seventeen magazine has reported kids having "Chicken Parties" where they all get together to "hook up" and watch porn. The kids interviewed said they laugh at the movies because "there's almost nothing as unsexy as porn". Except that porn is sex. You see the disconnect?

In her book The Real Truth About Teens and Sex, Sabrina Weill states that one in 11 teens has witnessed people having sex in front of other people. That would have been pretty deviant behavior in most parents' teenage years. Weill says one reason is pack mentality. If those kids are doing it, it must be OK. Another reason is the drugs and alcohol that makes teens feel invincible as well as more vulnerable to suggestion.

Not My Kid

Maybe your kid is not having sex, but don't count on it. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that in 2005 that nearly half of high school students had had sexual intercourse. 14% reported having had four or more partners. 34% of the sexually active kids hadn't used a condom during the last sex act.

Although your child may have his or her head on pretty straight, everything flies out the window when drugs and alcohol are involved. Of the kids having sex within three months prior to the study, 23% had done so under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

Part of the problem may be that kids define sex differently than adults. Read this article to find out what your kid may think of when you say "sex".

Sex is a Health Issue

You wouldn't think of letting your baby's immunizations lapse, but when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases many parents stick their heads in the sand. Kids don't comprehend that they can get very sick from sex. That's how parents need to present it. Leave morality for another day - make sure your child understands just how sick he can become from engaging in sex with an infected person.

Sex parties among young kids can spark and epidemic. Kids think other kids they know are "safe" to have sex with because they are all friends. It only takes one STD to infect an entire population of school kids.

A study done by Seventeen magazine reported that 56% of boys with an STD will not tell a girl. Why would they? That's your job.


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  • profile image

    dwsf 9 years ago


  • Paul Edmondson profile image

    Paul Edmondson 10 years ago from Burlingame, CA

    Comparing consensual sex to crime is going way too far. Even if it is teenagers. Choice for all people is a great thing. However, it's the education that's needed to make informed choices. My fear is that teenagers lack a full understanding of the consequences of sex. Therefore, make uninformed poor choices.

    I'm all for open discussion about sex with kids. The good. The bad. The messy. I have two daughters. Bring it on...I can see my wife's eyes rolling over.

  • Woemwood profile image

    Woemwood 10 years ago from Melbourne Australia

    Well intented subject, however saying as you did Miss Lela keep the morality for another day, is just the real problem of human society in general. If you are not accountable to any higher athority, then you will act with impunity.This apply's specially to our politicians, that formulate laws to promote a licentious society.

    With no discipline and no restriction in schools and family, crime and sex have come on an even par. Because there is no conscience. Nevertheless I always concur with you, and I enjoy reading your articles.