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10 Rude Comments You Should NOT Say to a Pregnant Woman

Updated on July 7, 2018
kiddiecreations profile image

Nicole has a degree in psychology, and is a mom to three young sons. She loves all things art, and enjoys writing about her experiences.

1. "You're Getting Bigger Every Day!"

Telling a pregnant woman that she is "big", is not very flattering. Women don't like comments about our size in general, and being pregnant usually does not make these comments much better. Although, intellectually, we know you are referring to the baby growing, it still just doesn't sound complimentary. So don't refer to us as "big" or tell us we're getting "bigger every day". We are aware that our bellies are growing, thank you!

2. "You Look Like You're Ready to Pop!"

Even if a woman appears to be close to her due date, saying she looks like she's "ready to pop" just doesn't sound very uplifting. It can be very anxiety-provoking to have strangers commenting on your body while you're just out and about doing errands, minding your own business. Some women are very shy anyway, so these types of comments are just not the best. You do not know when her due date is. She may still be months away from giving birth, so saying she is "ready to pop" already may not be an encouraging or kind statement.

3. "That Shirt Makes You Look Huge!"

Again, commenting on someone's size is usually not a good idea, unless you're telling them they look small or cute, etc. Commenting on someone's maternity wear and telling them that it makes them look "huge".... just definitely doesn't sound tactful or polite. It could make a woman feel more self-conscious about her body than she may already, as her baby grows and her body changes in ways it may never have before.

4. "You're Going to Have Your Hands Full!"

Sometimes when strangers see that a pregnant woman already has other children she's caring for, they may feel the need to let her know how full her hands are going to be once the new baby arrives. But this statement is just not uplifting or encouraging. Basically, you're letting the woman know how busy and overwhelmed she's going to be, caring for a newborn along with her other children. Believe me, she is already fully aware of that and is preparing for it. So there is no need to basically say "You're going to be overwhelmed!" or "You're sure going to be stressed out!"... Because that's basically what it sounds like when you say, "You're Going to Have Your Hands Full!"

5. "Don't You Know What Causes That?"

Yes, I'm sure she does, and saying this is just plain rude. People have all different sized families, and even if you feel like this particular woman is always pregnant with another baby, it's really none of your business how many children she decides to have. Her methods of birth control are really not up for public discussion.

6. "Are You Sure You're Not Having Twins?"

This comment is so hurtful when it is made by strangers, and even more hurtful if it is made by friends or family members. If you are a friend or family member, she probably has already told you if she is having twins (she would have been able to determine that when the ultrasound was performed). Asking someone if they're having twins, when you know the're not, is just a rude way of saying you think they look way bigger than they should, and it's just plain rude and mean! Don't say it.

7. "Are You Going to Get Your Tubes Tied or Make Hubby Get Snipped) After This?"

Once again, unless you're a close friend or family member and she brings up the subject of birth control, you should not be asking if she's going to get her tubes tied or if her husband is going to get a vasectomy. Pregnancy is a wonderful blessing, and not everyone is able to get pregnant easily (or at all). Butting in about someone's form of birth control is rude and, especially if you're a stranger, it's really none of your business.

8. "Get Ready for No Sleep!"

Even if it's her first pregnancy, chances are she is aware that she will not be getting much sleep once the new baby is born. Focusing on the negative by making this statement is just not very helpful.

9. When You Find Out the Gender... "Oh, I'm Sorry..."

Throughout my pregnancy, strangers have asked me if I'm having a girl this time, since I already have two boys. When I say no, they sometimes look at me sadly and say something to the effect of, "Oh, I'm sorry" or, "Oh, you poor thing!" Giving birth to a healthy baby, whether boy or girl, is a blessing and not something to be sorry about. One should always congratulate the mother on her upcoming bundle of joy, and not make any negative comments about the gender... even if it's her eighth girl in a row!

10. "Are You Sure You Can Eat/Drink That While You're Pregnant?"

I would definitely tread lightly when asking a pregnant woman if she is sure it is OK to eat/drink something. I have never had any negative comments directed at me in this regard, but I do know of someone who says strangers gave her a hard time about drinking iced coffee. Unless you are a close friend/family member and are genuinely concerned about something that is obviously unsafe (i.e. drinking or smoking cigarettes, or doing drugs while pregnant, etc), it might be a better idea to keep any comments on this subject to yourself. Pregnant women are allowed to have a certain amount of caffeine, and foods like fish can be good for the baby in moderation because of the omega-3's, etc. Chances are, her doctor has already advised her on what to eat/drink and what to avoid while pregnant, so any other commentary may not be needed or well-received.

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    • kiddiecreations profile imageAUTHOR

      Nicole K 

      21 months ago

      Lori,

      "You're going to have your hands full" is probably the phrase I heard the most when I was pregnant with my third. It's easy to say this to others because having lots of children does create more work, but it has a negative connotation in my opinion. One phrase I do love, though, is "Full hands, full heart".

    • kiddiecreations profile imageAUTHOR

      Nicole K 

      21 months ago

      Dora,

      Thank you for reading and commenting! Yes, thinking before speaking is so important! We all say the wrong thing from time to time. I like to focus on being encouraging. Your comments are always eloquent and encouraging, so thank you!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      22 months ago from The Caribbean

      Somebody needed to say it. Thanks for bringing this rude aspect to our attention. It will help us think before we talk to the pregnant woman.

    • kiddiecreations profile imageAUTHOR

      Nicole K 

      22 months ago

      RTalloni,

      Yes, good point. When one is prepared for possible comments ahead of time, it is a lot easier to have a response ready and stay positive. Or, a woman can obviously just decide to keep a positive attitude and respond with kindness, no matter what is said. It can be difficult, but is definitely possible to do this!

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 

      22 months ago from Pacific Northwest

      Great topic. I have four grown sons and I have heard most of them, but also have said a few of them, forgetting how it feels. A dear young man friend and his wife had a baby recently. When he first announced their pregnancy I made the sleep comment. Once I said #4 to someone. I can fathom why someone would say they're sorry when telling them the gender. How unkind and rude.

      Thanks for the reminders.

    • profile image

      RTalloni 

      22 months ago

      The only correct thing to say to a pregnant woman is, "How wonderful!"

      Many of the items you've mentioned could be answered in the same manner, "Isn't it wonderful?!"

      Letting these kinds of comments roll of one's back and feeling compassion for the speaker is the best emotional response to them. It is also a grownup response that increases a mother-to-be's preparedness for motherhood.

      Feelings constantly change but taking charge of them in this way before such comments come gives us a heads up for those coming-sooner-than-we-think teenage years when we need to be well adept at letting careless comments roll off so we can keep the bigger picture of our teens needs in mind.

      Every state of life is a great opportunity for personal growth!

    • kiddiecreations profile imageAUTHOR

      Nicole K 

      22 months ago

      Louise,

      Yes, we've probably all put our foot in our mouths at one point or another! It happens! Some people do so unintentionally. It's good to realize it though and try to be as encouraging as possible!

    • Coffeequeeen profile image

      Louise Powles 

      22 months ago from Norfolk, England

      Yes, people say lots of things to people when they are pregnant. I've been guilty of saying some of these things myself in the past, without realising really.

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