Thyroid Issues - What - Why - Recovery
My Thyroid Storm
But not for me! Does this mean anything to you? it didn't for me until recently I experienced thyroid storm. I took a journey through my sub-conscious, a deep dark place of denial. A place where I discovered I believed in all of the wonderful glories of life. I believed everyone deserved good things......but not me. I did not believe even a fractal portion of this applied to me. I was not worthy, not deserving, never had been, never would be. In this deep dark place I wanted to cease to exist, I was worthless and meaningless. The only reason I am still here is because of my belief of everyone Else's worthiness, I did not want anyone else to experience pain.
It Can be Rocky
The Storm Continues
What a storm, what a revelation! I realized this was not new, for as far back as I went in my sub-conscious I found this pattern to resonate true. I had always believed I was not worthy or of value. I recognized that it had always manifested in my life. As I believed, my life experiences proved I was right. I did not even consciously recognize these feelings and patterns, I did not realize that as I wrote of joy, my inner voice said, "But not for me". As love poured in, I became resentful and angry, I was right again - my guilt proved my worthlessness.
My training and knowledge became cliches, useless just like me. I cried for two days, almost non-stop, letting out a pain and denial so deeply buried, yet I recognized its face when it appeared to me.
Rescue and Recognition
Family, friends, local authorities and the V.A. Hospital rescued me from myself, my only enemy. As the thyroid storm subsided and chemical and hormonal balances shifted, so also did my experience. Allowing my conscious brain to kick in again and add some logic to the mixture. I struggled as I allowed others to love me and care. I listened as they advised and shared. I then went to the metaphysical library in my office and consulted with my references. (For those of you unfamiliar with metaphysics, it is a big scary word that simply means that everything physical is only a mirror or symbol to show us what is happening on a sub-conscious, emotional or spiritual level.) There were many phrases associated with thyroid issues. There was no differentiation between hyperthyroid or hypothyroid. All of these phrases resonated with the "truths" my sub-conscious showed me. The one phrase consistent and repeated in every reference was, "but not for me".
I know that I asked for this experience as I always ask for growth, healing and wellness. I was not prepared however, to discover my own deep dark secrets I had so cleverly hidden. I know now what needs healing and I know that the same holds true for anyone and everyone experiencing thyroid issues. I share my story in hopes of expediting my own wellness. Additionally, it is my desire that everyone else can see this mirror through my eyes without having to take the dark journey I took.
Recovery and Reframing
How to love me? How for each of you to love you? How to recognize and allow our own worthiness to shine through? As tears continue to pour from my eyes and glance off my cheeks, I will be the last one to say this is easy. Much easier to go back to the routine of taking care of me so everyone else can be happy, than it is to take care of me because I am worthy and important.
Re-framing: Consciously begin to re-frame thoughts as they enter your brain. Example: I was instructed how to make a good meal for me, I said "okay" and went to comply... of course so they would feel good. I stopped and said out loud, "I am making this for me because I am worthy". Instantly tears burst from my eyes, I know my sub-conscious is struggling to believe this, as will yours. Each thing that I do and you do, stop, say out loud "For me, because I am worthy". I don't know what emotion you will experience, but I do know you will experience emotions......Anger, rage, resentment, judgement, shame, guilt, sorrow. Whatever it is, experience it and let it go. It is okay, I am okay, say it out loud. Put notes to yourself everywhere, don't just look at them, read them out loud, acknowledge them, acknowledge you.
1) Feelings Buried Alive Never Die...... Karol K. Truman Copyright 1991 Olympus Distributing Las Vegas, Nevada
2) Messages From The Body Their Psychological Meaning...... Michael J. Lincoln, PHD Copyright 1991 2006Revised Talking Hearts Published by Talking Hearts USA
3) Heal Your Body...... Louise L. Hay Copyright 1982 Hay House, Santa Monica, CA.
Karol K Truman
Messages From The Body
Healing these inner lies we have programmed ourselves to call truths is the greatest challenge in life. It is what we came here to do, to learn compassion for ourselves first. Our bodies give us a perfect mirror. Through dis-ease. we can find ease......yes, even for me.
My gratitude as I take this journey, and as you take this journey with me. It is not easy, it has started with the first step of recognition. One step at a time, I do it for me......because I am worthy and valuable. Do it for you because you are worthy and valuable too. No one can take this journey for me, I have to take it for myself. Encouragement means nothing until I believe it is true for me and you believe it is true for you. Convincing the sub-conscious to change the belief pattern.
Access the references I have listed as there is much more detail on how to re-frame and heal into wellness whether the dis-order is thyroid or any other myriad of mirrors our bodies and the world around us reflect back for us.