- Mental Health
Tinkering With Tinsel Town
These are just some random thoughts on movies and films we see on the television. I have been a huge movie and tv show buff for a long time, so I guess in a way I am the right person to be addressing this issue since I have the experience of what it means to drown and get caught up in all these addicting entertainment and to some degree get lost in touch with reality.
Films are not real life. I feel many times people try to live their lives like it is a movie. On a whole, I feel movie has not done real life any favors. There are many factors I feel the movies and media on a whole has had a negative impact on our lives, I am going to list down a few which I feel is right, you can add to it or deny it in the comment section.
Movies has become from what was once a mere form of entertainment to what is now a held by many as the bar we should reach for excellency. Think of The Huxtable family in the Cosby show. Perfection. Perfect mother, perfect father, perfect everything.
While many saw this as a source of inspiration for raising a happy and healthy family, and many African American people saw them as the very definition of what African American family should be. You cannot deny the many unrealistic expectations it fed to us viewers. And while I am on the Cosby Show I might as well include the Brady Bunch as well.
When you have high unrealistic expectations, it will be very hard for you to accept reality, to be thankful for what you have. If you are a wife you would expect your man to be as loving caring as Cliff Huxtable, you would expect your man to raise the kids like Cliff did, everyone expected the other to be like their counterpart in that show.
If at one point you catch your man being a bit grumpy because of some work related issue, you would say it was wrong, it should not be like this. You would be angry that he is not following Cliff Huxtables way, which is wear an ugly sweater, turn on some jazz tunes sing incoherently bap bap padadeededeedoo and funny dance the grump away! He should be happy, but you can't be happy and supporting all the time. That is not life.
Life much more complex than the print on Cliff Huxtable's ugly sweater.
I am not saying that we should not expect our spouses to raise the kids in a healthy and civilized manner, I am saying lets keep our reality in check. Yes have Cliff Huxtable as a role model, but know that you cannot be a Cliff Huxtable overnight. Cliff Huxtable solves family issues in the 20-30 minutes he and his family is on air. Know that the same does not go for you.
Also, let's be realistic in The Cosby Show Cliff is a doctor and his wife is a lawyer. Those are some amazing job descriptions. And I realize that these job descriptions inspired many youths in those generation to aim to be doctors and lawyers and be able to provide the best for their family. But seriously, how is it Cliff is home ALL THE TIME?? He is a doctor, an obgyn at that too! It is a very time consuming job, it's just not realistic. Ask any successful obgyn or any successful doctors how much time to they spend with their family. So if you are a young person who wants to be a successful doctor you cannot spend as much time with your family as Cliff did. No Way.
I am also sure that you now know what has come to light about Bill Cosby and the sexual assault charges he was charged with. Everyone was shocked, they just cannot believe that Cliff Huxtable can do something like this behind the scene of The Cosby Show nonetheless. Same goes for the cast of Different Strokes another family comedy. Things are not what they seem, people.
Yes I know it is entertainment, but we have to watch out, because some of these shows and movies really can influence you, nothing wrong with that but you have to also remain vigilant and make sure to stay rooted to reality when watching them.
Not saying that after watching too many movies you will forget how to speak and start yelling like Chewbacca. But your way of conversing will start to change. Characters in movies have dialogues which are already written and rehearsed well beforehand. That is why it is so perfect. Perfect words, perfect timing, perfect situation (it started to rain when they kissed! what a coincidence!) But such is not real life.
The irony of it is, I will have to give you an example to prove my point from Seinfeld sitcom, specifically the episode called "The Comeback" for Seinfeld fans this is probably one of the best episode of Seinfeld.
It is where George Costanza was mocked during a meeting by one of his colleagues who saw him eating a shrimp quickly. The colleague said to him in front of everyone "Hey, George, The ocean called and they're running out of shrimp!" And the whole room laughed at poor George. He was dumb founded and struck and could not think of an equally witty or more witty comeback.
He was just fuming and angry. When he was on his way home he finally thought of an amazing come back and regret that he did not think of it at that time. After thinking of the so called "brilliant comeback (the comeback he thought of was "the jerk store called and they ran out of you!"...BRILLIANT am I right, folks? Well, that's comedy for you) He just waited and waited for the perfect time to deliver that line to him and exact his revenge!
He even went as far as making sure he was eating a huge bowl of shrimp in front of the man who wronged him just to fish out those very same taunt that was delivered to him by this man, and when he did...well, I will just let the clip show it to you:
Although it is from a tv show. That is as close to what expecting a witty comeback at a moment's notice can do to you. Perfect comebacks and reply can't always come to mind straight a way at your whim. In my case it hardly comes to mind, I will be honest. Many times I feel cornered and everyone looking at me expecting to give a witty come back only to bomb. That feeling is just cringe worthy.
Now from an entertainment point of view, great memorable dialogues from movies and tv shows like the one up there can either make or break a movie. Sometimes people rewatch a movie just to listen to said dialogue delivered by said actor/actress. Or they go to youtube and look for that particular dialogue.
Some great dialogues have been uploaded on youtubes and many of them have garnered over a Million views. Seinfeld dialogues are very popular on youtube and there are many top 10 Seinfeld dialogues or Seinfeld moments which you can watch on youtube.
Real life conversations are not and cannot be as stimulating or witty as the ones you see in movies. Sometimes in fact many times, there is a lull. You cannot keep delivering witty come backs or witty ice breakers. You just cannot. That is why books on making great conversations can sell so well, because many people have this fear of "performing" so to speak.
I am an introvert and I really do not like meeting people, my wife on the other hand, totally different story. My wife just hates this part of me. I am the one holding her back when it comes to her making friends and socializing. And I frankly, do not blame her for it. Many times she asks me, "why don't you want to get close to them, they seem like a nice couple/decent person?" My number one reason is always "I don't know what to say" Full disclosure, I feel this is because of watching too many movies and serials. I am one of the victims of what I describe as a speech impediment. Introverted ness and movies do not make a great mixture, my friend.
I have found my self setting these high unreachable goals of stimulating conversations. I find myself looking for that amazing comeback or opening line that totally breaks the ice and make them see that I am his/her long lost brother and will make him/her choose me as his/her best friend there and then. Of course, I am exaggerating a bit but you get my point.
I have come to realize that I need to take small steady steps when it comes to socializing, a hi hello how are you will have to do for now. When I can think of a great come back I will definitely deliver it, if I don't then I guess we are going to head to a bit of a lull and you know what? I am cool with it and I am not going to obligate myself into this nonsense. Also, if you expect me to have the wit and charm of the Great Gatsby, well, prepare to be sorely disappointed.
Movies have conversations on steroids. and such kinds of conversations just cannot be had all the time. That is the problem basically, we all want to have roided up conversations. Just like we enjoy watching baseball athletes on steroids hitting a home run every single time.
Conversations are most of the time a hit or miss. Accept it and just go with the flow. In fact, you know what? Stop thinking of what to say and start thinking about what to ask. Get to know people, listen to them. I think people would prefer it if you can listen to them rather than showing them how outspoken you are.
Everybody is worried about what to talk. When all they need to do is listen.
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.— Epictetus
Sometimes I wonder, if movies were not there, would people really care as much as to what shape they are in? Would people really make a big deal when they are a bit on the heavier side? How many people have been judged harshly and suffered rejection because of their weight.
I guess they will have to wait until being a bit on the heavier side becomes a trend again, because we as humans, definitely seem to have lost the ability to accept people for what they are and how they look like. There was a time when being a bit heavy was appealing and being thin was not.
Yes being fat is not healthy and people should definitely do their best to be fit, but to judge oneself or others harshly because of their appearance is quite frankly just wrong. I won't put all the blame on Hollywood but let us just say that they are not exactly doing any favors by glamorizing beauty over brains. It is an industry that is absurdly shallow and dense. you will literally get judged because of your appearance and it can easily make or break your career.
And the lengths people go through to be thin is just sickening. Some models have even died due to anorexia and bulimia. Such horrifying eating disorders can only stem from constant hatred and rejection and body shaming.
Of course there are exceptions where average looking actors such as Tom Hanks gets to be a superstar in spite of looking average. But then again, he is Tom Hanks. His career is just the surface. He is known to be an exceptional person even off screen and is also known for his work ethic. So if you look average, then you need to work and go the extra (green?) mile to get to where he is.
I also salute actresses who stand out simply because of they are being themselves and comfortable in their own skin, actresses such as Jennifer Lawrence, Melissa Mccarthy , Rebel Wilson (I reall admire her wit and diverse talents. You really should see her in some of her interviews with Graham Norton), and Kate Winslet, Amy Schumer, among others these are all actresses who I can say have a good degree of depth which makes them human.
Frankly, I feel the female has it harder than the male counterparts. The bar at which beauty has been set by the media is just ridiculous. Some people do not realize that perfect beauty we see on the cover of the cover on the magazine has been photoshopped and their imperfection brushed off by a photoshop expert, any mole or skin rash or birth mark or a bit of fat which is "where it is not supporsed to be" has all been airbrushed and resized to make it "perfect" and some people (women particularly) unknowingly strive to be that photoshopped version. It is UNREALISTIC.
The video below shows how big photoshop plays a role when it comes to creating the perfect beauty for a magazine cover photo shoot. unsurprisingly it went viral:
If your children's role model is someone from Hollywood then you seriously need to do something as parents and guide them and my be be more involed in their lives. God forbid they join a Karate lesson expecting to impress his sensei who is a 100 year old warrior from the Ming Dynasty and win a gold medal in an underground martial arts tournament in under...uhh..how long was that Karate Kid movie again? 2 hours?
But like I said, If he happens to take Boxing classes and is inspired by Rocky Balboa that is fine, as long as he knows to stay rooted in reality. No bum can become a boxing champion in under two hours by punching slabs of meat. He/She needs to be realistic in approaching his/her goals.
Your children needs to be around real people who lives real life and deal with real problem and find real solutions.
By all means watch movies, go ahead. I my self am a huge movie buff, I binge watched Breaking Bad all the way from seasons 1-5, Did the same for Sopranos. God knows how many times I have watched Shawshank Redemption just to listen to Morgan Freeman's narrating his lines. Watching them have become some of my best moments. But it is because of being a movie buff that I know from direct experience what it can do to you.
I have, however, reached a point where I know these addicting movies and tv show will keep coming till the end of time. Now we have Game Of Thrones and Walking Dead, and whenever I see their trailers I just say to myself "I just don't have the time for this."
I no longer call myself a movie buff, because life literally kicked the doors and grabbed me by the collar as some of you may know if you read my previous hub. So this hub was born out of the realization of how much difference I have noticed from hardly watching any movies anymore. How much I became aware of real life and it is starting to dawn on me just what real life is about. I hope this can be of help to some of you or probably be some sort of wake up call.
And now, I would like to end this hub, with one of my favorite Hollywood scene of all time. It is a dialogue in the movie Glengarry Glen Ross delivered by Alec Baldwin. It is a very popular speech. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Warning: please come back to real life once you are done watching it. Thank you.