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To all you Christian Dope Fiends
A message to Christians in recovery
I was originally gonna title this “A message to Christians in recovery.” But then I realized I might not get the attention of the people I really feel like God had put on my heart right now. I’m talking to those Christians that have really come from a messed up life. Those Christians that made so many mistakes in their addictions that even years of recovery is not stopping the consequences of their past life from still showing up and wreaking havoc on their lives to this day. I’m talking to Christians like me. I know that I have been made clean, I know that my Lord has saved me and washed away all of my sins. Because of that knowledge I boldly call myself a Christian I boldly call myself righteous. But then something will come along, some consequence from my past or some residual character defect that I have yet to let my God work on and I gotta say I just feel like a dope fiend. I’ve been clean for 14 months now and I still feel like just another dope fiend sometimes. Not gonna lie about that I battle with doubt just like anyone else. I feel that because of all I did and all I lost as a result of it I battle a little harder with it than the ordinary Christian.
I’m a registered drug offender in the State of Kansas. Originally I was going to have to register until the year 2019 that’s ten years from the time I was originally released from prison in 2009. I didn’t like that but I recognized that as a consequence from my past that I was going to have to accept. But then something that I believe is completely unconstitutional happened. The state of Kansas decided to add another five years to the time for all drug and violent offenders to register. They pretty much added time to all of our sentences with no court date, no judge, and no jury. As Mr. Rogers would have put it boys and girls can you say “double jeopardy?” So anyway now I will have to register until the year 2024 this is despite the fact that I have committed no new felonies and I have been working very hard to become a productive member of society again. I am working very hard to change what I had allowed myself to become but my government just sent me a very clear message. You will always be a worthless dope fiend dope dealer to us. I don’t even know for sure that I will be able to stop registering in 2024 because for all I know in 2023 they will decide to add another five years to the time. Then another and then another until they have me labled for the rest of my life!
B. Residual Character Defects
One of the things I lost as a result of my addictions was a beautiful and Godly wife. I had a such a good woman and she treated me like nothing less than a king! But then I relapsed and started treating her like nothing more than a peasant. So I lost her, this is one of the things the devil used my addictions to steal from me. I’ve lost a lot of things because of my addictions so that now that I’m in recovery I want them all back and I want them all back right now! There lies a blatant character defect. Impatience! I try so hard to get all I’ve lost back now, that I ruin my chances of getting them back in due time. Out of all the things I’ve lost and want back I chose the wife issue because I recently met another beautiful woman of God that was genuinely interested and attracted to me. I tried to rush past friendship, past getting to know one another right into relationship status. Within less than a month (a lot less) I lost her. I scared her away, so simple. Now she’s not even my friend.
Doubt sets in
When I have to deal with all the weird consequences that are still catching up to me that are still trying to take years from my life. Or when I chase off anything good from coming into my life because of my stupidity it’s hard to see myself as having been changed. It’s hard to recognize all that God has done in my life and is continuing to do in me. I start to think things like. “It doesn’t matter what I do I will always be scum to them so why bother?” Or I’ll think, “I had my chance at a good wife that loved me and I threw her away like garbage, God isn’t going to give me another love like that!”
Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
Yes I have made mistakes and yes I continue to make more. Even in my recovery, even as I strive to follow God I still allow character defects to further set me back. To further steal the things from me that I haven’t even possessed yet. These sufferings of this present time that I deal with make me feel, and sometimes even believe, that I am still just a dope fiend. Still nothing but a loser. But that is not how my God sees me! His word says that I have been made clean. Not in the future when I get back on my feet. Not after I’ve regained all the things I’ve lost and learned how to keep them. But right now I’m Hupernikeo! That is a greek word that means more than a conqueror! Or it can also be translated mighty overcomer. This word is found in the new testament (Romans 8:37) and is translated “more than conquerors.” But it reminds me of Gideon In Judges chapter 5 and 6 when Isreal was being attacked and Gideon was hiding out basically scared to death! But then God sent an angel to him and the first thing the angel called Gideon was a “mighty man of valor.” Mighty man of valor? What? I just told you that Gideon was being anything but a mighty man of anything. He was hiding like a coward! But God knew what Gideon could become in His hands! That’s what we need to focus on. Not what we have done or even what we see ourselves doing right now!
2 Corinthians 5:7 (For we walk by faith, not by sight:)
We are not dope fiends anymore! We are Hupernikeo! And He has promised to us that although everything we see about ourselves does not reflect that now, glory will be revealed in us. Notice Romans 8:18 didn’t say will be "placed" in us. It said will be “revealed” meaning it is already there now through the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. We just cant see it yet! But it will be revealed if we don’t pay attention to what we see and focus on what His Word says about us. If we continue to walk by faith eventually we will see what we believe! Eventually our actions will reflect the truth about us. But not immediately.
2 Corinthians 3:18 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.
From glory to glory. What does that mean? It means one step at a time, one day at a time, one “next right thing,” at a time. As we continue to walk step by step, day by day continuing to do the next right thing and then the next right thing after that through the guidance of our Lord we will be conformed. We will be shown to be what He has made us. The righteousness of God in Christ (2nd Corinthians 5:21.)
Move forward you mighty man or woman of God!
Judges 6:12 And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him, and said unto him, The LORD is with thee, thou mighty man of valour.
No matter what you’ve done or what you continue to do the Lord is with you and that makes you a mighty man of valor! The government can label me a drug offender for as many years as they want it changes nothing about who I really am! I am a mighty man of valor! It doesn’t matter what mistakes I make or how many things I mess up. I am a mighty man of valor!
Philippians 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
You wanna talk about losing things? You feel bad about all the things you used to have and then threw away? Well check this out. I was saved from my alcoholism when I was a young man and spent the next ten years serving my God. As a result I became a well respected minister. I was asked to speak and teach at churches all over the Midwest and was even on the radio. My messages were broadcast weekly! Then I relapsed. And I didn’t just relapse back to alcoholism I found my way to drug addiction. I lost everything. All that I had accomplished all that my God had done through me. I threw it all away like garbage and not only became a dope fiend I began destroying other peoples lives as I became a dope dealer as well.
Can you imagine all the people who I let down? All the people who were discouraged as a result of my actions? All the people who were heart broken! So yeah its real easy for me to get down on myself and think that I’m worthless. I had so much and threw it all away. But I know that my God is the God of second chances. I know that I will be restored to even greater use than I was before if I continue to focus on His Word and forget all of those things behind me.
Not just the bad things I did I have to forget the good things as well. I focus now on now. Now I have been made clean, now I am being prepared for ministry. Because God is not just the God of second chances He is the God of seventy times seven chances. The God of infinite chances. You may think that you are worthless and beyond true redemption. You may see yourself as just a sort of half breed Christian/dope fiend. But you are not done yet! If you are still alive there is still hope for you. There is biblically a time when someone has come to the point where they can never be redeemed. This happened to people in both the old and the new testaments. But the same thing always happened. They immediately dropped dead. Even in the new testament this happened. Ananias and his wife Saphira when they tried to scam the Holy Ghost. King Herod when he claimed the glory of God. What is my point?
This, if you are still breathin there is still a reason! God still has glory to reveal in you. You are Hupernikeo you so called Christian dope fiend you! Lift your head up right now and recognize who you are. Go walk with your God and let that glory be revealed in you from glory to glory to glory!