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Trying to Conceive (TTC) and The Dreaded Two Week Wait (TTW)--My True Experience with Both

Updated on June 18, 2012
Janine Huldie profile image

Janine is a published author in Only Trollops Shave Above the Knees, appears on The Huffington Post and at Confessions of A Mommyaholic.

Dedication

This article is dedicated to first to my husband of 6 years and second to our two wonderful daughters. To my husband, thank you for always being there for me and for all you do for us everyday all year long through the good and bad. Without you none of this would have been possible. And to my daughters, you are truly my sunshine and thank you for lighting up my world even in the grayest of days. Without you my world would be dark.

No More Birth Control

How it all Started...

It was the late spring of 2008, when my husband and I decided to try to conceive. We were married for almost 3 years and for those 3 years we were happy, but both longed to have a baby. Finally we felt ready, I remember throwing out my birth control pills which I had taken religiously everyday from about the age of 17 for almost 15 years.

That first month, we just did what we would normally do as far as our sexual lives, but now there was no birth control and we weren't trying to prevent pregnancy anymore. Well, lo and behold, like clockwork I got my period on day 28 of my menstrual cycle. I was always a 28 day girl even not on birth control back in the day, so nothing had changed, except now I was secretly heartbroken that I wasn't pregnant instead of thanking god that I narrowly escaped that near miss.


Month 2

For the second month, I decided to chart my basal temperatures. I used a basal thermometer and a charting program that I found online to document my temperatures and also tried to use First Response Ovulation Tests. I have to say those damn sticks were so frustrating to read. Even when I thought, I was ovulating from the tests, I wasn't 100% sure, because trying to read those lines is the absolute worst and I think I would have had better luck playing Russian Roulette. Sure enough, month 2 ended with me getting my period on Cycle Day 28.

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Month 3..

For month three, I decided I was do everything I had done previously, but also used the ClearBlue Fertility Monitor. This monitor is pricy, but the accuracy is unbeatable. Instead of having to read the ovulation sticks myself, the machine did all the for me and took out all the guesswork or human error. Well, at the end of month 3, I was pregnant. However, my happiness was short lived, because it turned out it was a chemical pregnancy.

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Chemical Pregnancy...

My chemical pregnancy was the single most gut wrenching experience of my life. I swear in 2 weeks time I went from being pregnant, due May 19, 2009 to having nothing but what felt like the worst menstrual period of my life. My doctor, at the time, truly had no bed side manner. He told me I was a 'little bit pregnant' and put me on progesterone suppositories like it was nothing. I had 3 repeat Betas and by the 3rd was told to call the office to get the results at a certain time of the day. I called only to be told, he was busy and could he call me back. When I pressed further just to have some peace of mind, this doctor got on the phone, told me it was a 'loss' and hung up on me. I was at work when this happened to me and was devastated. Thankfully my superior let me go home no questions asked. This doctor never told me what to expect and no further instructions. I went off the progesterone and within 6 hours started to bleed and pass clots with the worst cramping ever. It truly felt like all my hopes and dreams were being ripped out of me.

As can be imagined, I was pretty much traumatized from that experience. I was an emotional and hormonal wreck. I snapped at my husband quite a bit in those first few weeks. About this time, I had also found a wonderful support group online for women like myself trying to conceive. It was a website dedicated to woman and had 2 sides. One side of the message board was dedicated to woman trying to conceive (TTC) or the two week wait (TTW) and the other was for woman already pregnant.

I also remember being petrified to go another doctor for fear of what or how I would be treated, but so desperately wanted to be pregnant again. Well, after that I had many people trying to refer me to their doctor. I remember being given all these different doctor's numbers and thankfully I called one of them. I will never be sorry that I did call the one I did. From the moment, I called I was treated like family and not just a nobody who didn't matter. From the receptionist who answered the phone, who spoke to me for a half hour just listening to my fears and concerns to the doctor himself, who met with my husband and myself and spoke to us for over an hour. This doctor is by far the best of the best and truly cares about each and everyone of his patients. By the end of this meeting, he told me what I had had previously was a chemical pregnancy and not a miscarriage. He also told me, I should be able to conceive more children without an issue and incidence.

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Sweetest Gift...Her name is Emma Grace

My husband and I went home and had some renewed faith that we would have more opportunities to have children now in the future. Well, I am a bit of a control freak and knew I still wanted so desperately to keep trying. So, once I had my period for that month, I began using the fertility monitor again and took Vitamin B to prolong my cycle after ovulation, as well as Prenatal vitamins. I remember pestering my husband that month when the monitor said I was ovulating and swear I didn't give that poor guy a chance to catch his breath during the 2 days before and the 2 days after.

Lo and behold, my Emma was conceived on or about Halloween 2009 and will be 3 years old on July 17, 2012. She was just in her first dance recital and tells me everyday now, "I do it all by myself!" But she was and still is my first baby. I have since had a second little girl as well, who will be 2 years old on November 23, 2012. So my doctor (who saw me 2 pregnancies and delivered both my girls) was 100% right when he I would have children and shouldn't have any problems conceiving again. Two children later and I can say he was truly correct about that. And by the way, I am proud to say I still speak to those women who got pregnant at the same time as myself back in 2008 on Facebook now in our own message board from the July 2009 Due Date Club (DDC) from the original message boards from the TTC/TTW and Pregnancy Boards. I am so thankful to them for all their continued daily support, because I know that I will always have a place to go when needed.

How Sweet It Is...

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    • april holland profile image

      April Savage 5 years ago from Florida

      You have an awesome life testimony! Thank you for sharing. I suffered with the same problems as well, thanks for letting me know I wasn't the only one!!!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 5 years ago from New York, New York

      Oh thank you so much April for your kind words. I truly feel so blessed that after what I went through that I have had such a positive and wonderful outcome to it all. Sorry that you too have suffered with the same problem and hope that you were able to overcome as well.

    • ThePracticalMommy profile image

      Marissa 4 years ago from United States

      It is so hard to wait when you want a baby so much! Don't I know: I have two kids now and am waiting to be pregnant with the third.

      Thank you for sharing your story. It is an inspiration to those waiting for their first positive test! :)

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Thank you so much PracticalMommy. I really wanted to share this story to help anyone else who has gone through or who is going through something similar. I remember just wanting to be able to talk to others who were experiencing similar at the time. So happy to help here believe me!

    • LauraGT profile image

      LauraGT 4 years ago from MA

      Thanks for sharing, and congrats! There is nothing like The Wait - I feel for people who have to endure multiple months (or years) of trying. And, there's nothing like the positive test results!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      LauraGT, thank you for your comments and so true about there being nothing like the TTW wait and getting that positive pregnancy test after that long wait is equivalent to winning the lottery!!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I'm sure many parents and parents to be and even grandparents could relate to your journey. So thank you for sharing. My first daughter was a pleasant surprise, my second daughter made me sweat it out a few months:)

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Linda, I do hope that others can relate to my journey with conceiving Emma. My second unlike your was my pleasant surprise, but my first was the one who truly made me sweat it out to get to her. Glad you stopped by and thanks again for your comment and continued support!

    • Gabby McMahon profile image

      Gabby McMahon 4 years ago from Ennis, Co Clare, Ireland

      thank you so much for sharing, it is such a bumpy journey, and women often feel, that they have no one to turn to when the goings get tough....

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Thank you so much Gabby and appreciate your kinds words. I do hope my story gives inspiration to others who are possibly having trouble conceiving, because I truly have been there and now have 2 beautiful children. Thanks again!!

    • profile image

      KDuBarry03 4 years ago

      Your children are absolutely gorgeous and adorable. Thank you so much for sharing this, Janine. Great story and a strong one at that :) Voted up and tweeted!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Oh Keith thank you so much for your kind words here about my kids and my story of how I conceived my first. I really do appreciate you stopping by, voting up and tweeting too.

    • Mama Kim 8 profile image

      Sasha Kim 4 years ago

      I just never get over how cute your girls are! I bet you get the uncontrollable urge to hug and kiss them all the time ^_^ lol I know I do with my kids. I completely know what you went through! My TTC times took 4 months the first time and a year the second with a "failure" during the second TTC. The right doctor can really make a difference in the pregnancy experience. I happy you found a better one after that first A**, excuse my language but just reading about that guy irritates me... how could he treat you like that!! Voting and sharing!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Sorry for what you had to go through here, Janine. Some doctors don't realize the trauma they cause patients. Trying to conceive truly can be a heart rending battle. Thanks for sharing this! I share as well.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      I am so happy that things worked out so well for you. I never had any problems, just said I wanted to be pregnant and like magic I was...four times...not everyone in my family was so lucky...one had endometriosis and another something I'm not quite sure of the exact name but the only way to pregnancy was fertility drugs and in vitro....so I am thankful they were both able to conceive and share in the joy of motherhood but know the pain that comes from not being able to conceive. I was adopted because my 'father' became infertile (LONG story) so I know all sides of this coin.

      Your girls are so precious, God Bless them and you!

      Voted up, useful, and interesting.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Michelle, thank you for saying that. The doctor truly was a creep, but I feel so thankful that I found my now doctor who delivered my two girls. As bad as things were, I am blessed for all the good that came out of it in the end. Thank you for being so kid and sharing this one too :)

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Mary, thank you so much for sharing your experiences and those in your family too with fertility, conception and pregnancy too. As much of an issue that I had first conceiving, my second happened on one shot pretty much and completely took us by surprise (but a very good surprise indeed. So I know both experiences (of having trouble conceiving and falling into it will out much thought or plan). Thank you again for your votes and kindness too!!

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      What a dreadful experience. We lost a baby at 8 1/2 months due to placenta detachments and high blood pressure. The experience is horrifying and traumatic. Thanks for sharing your personal experience. I know Emma and Lily are part of this world thanks to you and your hubby. Sharing!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
      Author

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Joseph, I am so sorry to hear of your family's experience with placental detachments and for your loss. I was truly very afraid of this during that whole pregnancy and thankfully it turned out Ok, but since having all these issues we have decided to not try for more, because I just couldn't bare to loss a child if it happened again and it didn't turn out quite as well and also putting my family through anymore would not be fair either. Thank you though for sharing your personal experience here.

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