- Mental Health»
WAAAA! The Roadblock Called Self-Pity
Here's lookin' atcha!
You might get a little bitchy after you read this (I hope)...
Poor me. I just can’t seem to get what I want. Things just don’t work out for me. I have had this consistent run of bad luck. I try and I try. Still, it seems God has it in for me. What the hell did I ever do to deserve all this mess?? Then, I read all the self-help and spiritual crap and they promise all the goodies. (Some don’t; they tell me material prosperity is a bad thing. Screw them. I want the material stuff anyway.) I do affirmations and I visualize a little. Still no change. Then the economy takes a nosedive, the weather is awful, people are rude, traffic is, well, traffic. There doesn’t seem to be any way out. I’m too fat; too sore; too scared. (Too lazy?)
Blah, blah, blah.
I call the above whiny, complainy garbage The Velcro Effect. It’s like you have this patch of Velcro on your forehead and the connector on the back of your hand. Every time some little thing goes wrong, up goes the hand, connects to the Velcro, and you walk around in a state of self-pity for all to see. And you actually think you are justified.
Here’s a powerful quote from that wonderful author A. Nonymous (He/she writes a lot!) that should put you in your place:
“People do not decide their future. They decide their habits and their habits decide their future.”
And Ron Rubin, in his great little book, Dragon Spirit, says, “The difference between success and failure is the difference between a strong will and a strong won’t.”
The Velcro Effect (or more correctly, The Self-Pity Party Syndrome) is the number one separator between you and your best life. It’s a nasty, nasty habit. And you keep hanging onto it because it has served you oh so well lo, these many years. You take a certain pleasure in it. But of course, you would never admit that, right?
Either break the Velcro Effect habit or shut up. In fact, do both. You’ll do yourself a world of good and spare the rest of us your constant “Woe is me” stories that make us want to kick you in the gonads. You think we actually feel sorry for you? Wrong. Most of us are feeling sorry for ourselves. You see, we have the same habit you do. How’s that for competition? What's worse, when you're not around, we snicker at you and tell each other what a wuss you are. Then we try to one-up you by telling each other sob stories that are worse than yours. You know it's true because you do the same when your friends/co-workers/bosses/church members/classmates/family members tell you their Velcro Effect stories. Why, what cry babies, you say.
(Does the word "hypocrite" come to mind?)
Your job: do everything in your power to break the Velcro Effect habit. That’s your only hope. And ours, too. Period.
Enough said? Yeah, I think so.
Many blessings to you.
P.S. It took me 10 years to break the Velcro Effect once I heard about it. Take your time. Ease into it. Start with small steps. You'll do just fine.