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Why Am I "CUTTING" Myself?

Updated on July 30, 2014

Why Am I CUTTING Myself?

We are living within a pressure driven society! There is a myriad of social pressures that are imposed on one to make them feel the need to fit in. This can at times cause undue stress and result in unfavorable behavior. These behaviors are not readily discussed but are becoming more prevalent! Fitting in is not easy and makes it harder to transition through the stages of youth and early adulthood development. For some it is much more difficult than others. As a matter of fact we have a growing number of individuals that are self mutilating themselves in order to relieve intense inner pressure. Self injury is on the rise!

What? Yes, they harm themselves; they are a part of the growing number that leans towards cutting themselves. Growing up can be painful and difficult! Did you know that not being like everyone else really is okay! Once you accept this you won't have to cut yourself to feel okay! Everyone still on this side of Heaven is here to learn and grow... You are like a beautiful flower waiting to bloom!

What is cutting?

Cutting is when someone takes a blunt object, pin, paper clip, scissors or a razor blade and proceeds to make cuts on their wrists, arms, legs, thighs or torso to the point that they bleed. Some will even burn themselves or harm themselves in some other way. This is usually done in a place that is less noticeable! It is becoming an increasing reoccurring behavior that can become addicting. It often goes unnoticed because the self mutilator will make excuses for the cuts and bruises or try very hard to keep them hidden by making excuses. Oh the cat scratched me, or I fell in the bushes, i slipped, or I scraped myself on the… Cutting is considered an impulse – control behavior reaction!

Who Cuts themselves?

Cutting is something that is done by both genders. It appears that female teens and younger women are primarily the predominate participators. However there are a growing number of guys who cut themselves as well. There are a number of reasons why they result to such drastic measures. Some cut because they know that their friends cut themselves. One viable cause that jumps out is the need for inner, “relief!” They are tormented and driven by their pain. These individuals feel and enormous amount of pressure!

Someone who is cutting can’t always freely express themselves and they often feel as though they are emotionally knotted up. The need for a release is why they begin cutting. Some like the way the cuts look and when they begin to heal will reopen the cuts. You can’t really force someone to stop cutting. So what do you do? Lend a listening ear and let them know that you care! Yelling at someone who is cutting is not very helpful. Approaching them with patience and concern is a much better method if you really want to help them. Be firm in letting them know that they need to get some relief; but in a healthier way. Allow them some time to vent... Encourage them to seek help!

Signs of Cutting

There are a few signs that you might notice such as scars or wounds on the wrists or they may tend to keep a sharp object handy. They tend to spend a lot of time alone or make excuses to cover the cutting with little awkward mishaps. They may become irritable easily or bang their head. Wearing long sleeves in hot weather may be a cover up as well. Cutting can be a momentary phase or a one time occurrence, but for some it can become a repetitive habit!

Peer Pressure

Peer pressure, relationship pressure, the need to achieve and the desire to grow up faster than needed becomes a struggle. The need to be successful, getting too involved in a relationship at an early age, not feeling pretty enough, handsome enough, thinking they are too thin or too heavy, simply not being really comfortable with who they are and not having confidence in oneself. Any of the above can factor in to some degree! It is also thought that possibly some early childhood suppressed trauma, neglect or abuse can attribute to its onset as well. It is important to know that the behavior is harmful. Why are they are cutting themselves remains to be an increasing growing concern! The healing process can be lengthy because cutting carries the stigma of shame. This is why it is usually done discreetly and secretively. It is a self destructive behavior. The individual that enlists cutting is desperate or close to panicking. They can possibly be masking rage, anger, pain, frustration, sorrow, rejection, hurt as well as low self esteem. Growing up can be tough! They really need help. They need a good healthy support system!

Getting Help

Seeking a professional as well as having someone to talk to who is attentive and has good listening skills is a wonderful idea! The temporary relief found in cutting is minimal in contrast to how they are feeling. The person who results to cutting is in distress and needs to be assured that they should not be ashamed of how they feel, but encouraged to instead “reach out” and share how they feel! They need to have their feelings validated. Whenever they begin to feel pressured, anxiety or shame and begin cutting it is an indication that they need immediate help. Praying with them is also helpful. They do not have the usual level of coping skills that would help them override their need to feel a release that make them result to cutting! They tend to spend far too much time worrying and dwelling on unpleasant episodes, what they can't do, what they can't change and negative emotions that make them fall short can pull them into a downward spiral! Cutting is usually an impulsive response!

If you know someone who is cutting or suspect they are cutting encourage them to get help or seek out help for them if they are a minor! If it is your child you need to take them to a professional. Cutting can be dangerous because they are usually using an unsterilized object and can cut too deeply. This can result in an infection or serious injury. Don’t bury your head in the sand, or shake it off as not being so serious! Either way the problem needs to be addressed! Gently and firmly point them in the right direction. Give them encouragement and listen more. If you are a cutter tell someone or write a note if it is too difficult for you to talk about it! Tell your parents, friend, teacher, counselor, doctor, neighbor just tell someone who you feel safe with! Keep asking or telling someone until you get the help that you need. How you feel is important and learning how to deal with how you feel is even moreso important!

We are living within a society in this 21st century where just about anything goes. Families are being torn apart and many children, teens and young adults are feeling displaced... Many uncertain as to what will be? Our children, teens and young adults need guidelines. They are our future! Too many young people are coming up feeling all alone, in unstable envIronments and left unattended! They need support, balance and help developing better coping skills. They also need better consistent role models. They need to be nurtured, hugged more and they need to have a secure, safe, stable home environment! It is important that you encourage them to share however it is they are feeling. It is important to become more aware of the stresses and peer pressures that they are encountering on many levels. Too often they receive poor advice from their peers that further hinders them from getting the proper help or reaching out to their parents.

Communication is important!

As your child or teen grows so should the way in which you interact with them grow? Your level of communication with them should grow as well! Give them responsibilities which they can accomplish and develop self esteem and become autonomous. This helps them to feel a sense of accomplishment!

If they are struggling in their academics get them a responsible and appropriate tutor! Give them good boundaries to make them feel safe! Encourage them to share however it is they are a feeling. How they feel is important. Ask them how their day is going and freely share with them as you spend time with them. Look them in the eyes when you talk to them. Look for signs of pain and reach out to them! Let them know that you are there for them and they matter. As a parent you have a responsibility to be there for them if they want you to or not, it should not be the other way around! Let them know that they are loved!

Please do not live vicariously through your children. Do not make them responsible for your happiness. If you are an over indulgent parent back off and let them breathe! The point is the relational dynamics need to change for the better. It is important to continue to develop and or improve communication with them.

On evenings and weekends check in with them or they with you, when they are away this makes them feel your care and concern. Have them call when late or delayed… This makes them feel connected as well as become more accountable & responsible! Being a good listener is also a part of good communication!

There is Hope!

Life is precious and you want to spend the majority of it discovering how beautiful it can be. No doubt that life can also be very difficult, stressful and complex. Everyone has difficult moments! It is how we go through them that matters. There is a way through this…

You can rise above cutting! There is an inner strength within you that you can discover and develop! Reach deep within and begin to let go of your pain! Begin to move towards taking responsibility for your personal wellbeing! Instead of hurting yourself to relieve inner pain and pressures in an unhealthy way you can get stronger and override the impulse to cut yourself. You can begin to discover and release that stronger inner you!

You can learn to nurture yourself and become stronger and secure within yourself. Stop comparing yourself with others... No one can be a better you than you! You can share how you are feeling & discuss “Why am I cutting myself!” You can also get better just know that YOU MATTER & GOD LOVES YOU!!!


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    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 3 years ago

      Frogyfish, Thank you for taking the time to stop by and share. Life can get very complicated at times. Cutting is an unhealthy way of coping for some that brings momentary relief...

      Your are so right those who do so are in need of genuine love, acceptance and much patience as well. I pray that they or someone close to them is helped by this as well. May they be encouraged to reach out and get help!

      As long as any of us are on this side of Heaven there is room for improvement. May we all continue to grow daily in the grace and knowledge of our Lord! Genuine concern is what yields healing and helps to make this world a better place... Lord Bless You Always!

    • frogyfish profile image

      frogyfish 3 years ago from Central United States of America

      I see the truth of your hub, yet cannot imagine wanting to cut myself. Though I may not fully understand those that do, it is evident that what they need is understanding love, acceptance, and encouragement. Your information could be well used to assist someone in their time of need. Thank you for sharing on this sad issue - that someone might read and benefit from its reality.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 3 years ago



      You are so nvery welcome!

      Know that the LORD is with you always!

      Stay Encouraged! Lord Bless You! & Keep You!

    • profile image

      Della 3 years ago

      Thank you for this helped me

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 4 years ago

      DDE, Cutting is a serious issue! Thank you for stopping by to show this hub some Love! Thank You! Peace & Blessings!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      WHY AM I "CUTTING" MYSELF? very true and an informative hub, with so many useful points mentioned, and eye opener for sure.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Sweetie, It is unfortunate that many have elected to "Cutting" themselves in order to seek immediate relief from inner pressures of stress, depression, anger, frustration, and anxiety...

      You are so right "the competition is getting tougher...." It is very important for parents to keep the lines of communication open! Validating one's feeling is most helpful! It tells your teen that you take the time to care when you listen to them. I think that it is very important for parents to Keep in mind that their responsibility to their chldren is to guide them not live vacariously through them! Suicidal tendencies are a sure cry for HELP! Thank you for sharing!

      I pray that if anyone sees this and entertains either of the above you will INMEDIATELY SEEK HELP. Know that you deserve better!

      Life is PRECIOUS and each individual was created for a specific purpose even if it takes a lifetime to discover what it is...

      Sweetie, Again, Thank You for stopping by to share! In HIS Love, Grace, Mercy, Peace & Blessings!

    • sweetie1 profile image

      sweetie1 5 years ago from India

      Very nice hub on a delicate subject. With rise in population and limited resources, the competition is getting tougher and parents are pushing children to fulfill their dreams ( at least in Indian subcontinent). This has given rise to suicidal tendencies in people and thus it is more common now than ever before. BTW do u know it is very difficult to cut artery in wrist even if u give cut because artery is very deep there. So you have to cut through a lot of flesh and tendons.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Jesusmyjoy, Thank you! So nice to hear from you! In HIS Love, Mercy, Grace, Peace & Blessings!

    • jesusmyjoy profile image

      Betty Bolden 5 years ago from Bucyrus Ohio

      wonderful write

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Nobody, This is quite sad… But it will also help others see the seriousness of “Cutting!” It is no doubt a plea for “HELP!” This is TRUE, even though it may not be well received! I pray that someone who sees this STOPS and gets help! The ones who care feel hopeless and want to help!

      There are so many things that are going on within this world! So many hurting people. Although it sounds so simple; developing an up close and personal intimate relationship with the LORD CAN HELP! They can begin to realize that your body is a temple and you really should not destroy it or mar it by cutting. Turn to the LORD instead and allow HIM to “CUT” out some of the stress is far better. They cannot change what has happened but they can start right where they are… This is why we must continue to encourage them to instead seek to discover their purpose and understand how precious life is!

      This helps them to know that they truly matter and God has a plan for their life. However we know that we cannot force the LORD on anyone it has to be their choice. I Pray that this is encouraging ...

      Robert, Thank you for sharing, In HIS, Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings! God Bless You!

    • no body profile image

      Robert E Smith 5 years ago from Rochester, New York

      I had someone in my very close circle who used to do this. She had scars all on her wrists and inner thighs. The reason she gave was "the pain was real and her life was not. When I watch it heal, it is like my life is healing." She never did stop self-abusing all her life and some of the ways were very involved. It was a very confusing hurtful time in which I felt helpless and useless in the situation. All I did was pray but it did not achieve any stoppage of the behavior. Hopefully the person got herself right with Jesus before she passed away.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Stars, This is true! This is why it is so very important to give them alternative ways to alieve their anxiety! Allowing them to talk freely about however it is they are feeling is a good start... God Bless You!

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Mr.s Deborrah : Troubled kids, and teens will sometimes do this. God Bless You Precious heart.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      LadyE, Thank you! Yes there is ALWAYS HOPE! AMEN!!! The world is becoming an increasingly interesting place and many TEENS & YOUNG ADULTS are struggling trying to cope. How they feel is IMPORTANT! They are experiencing much anxiety trying to discover their place in life... It is important for them to KNOW that they are LOVED and that GOD has created them for a purpose! Open, honest, caring communication is so very important! Thank you for stopping by to share, in HIS Love. Grace, Mercy, Joy, Peace & Blessings! GOD BLESS YOU!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 5 years ago from London, UK

      Indeed there is Hope.

      I'm glad you wrote it as it is so much on the increase. It's nice to learn more about it - as some teens contact me online and mention it once in a while. God Bless you for posting. I believe God led you to.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      rjbatty,That was an interesting response using; Cutting yourself while shaving, It got my attention! I am glad that it is not purposeful. It is so very interesting to see all the things that are done in excess that are quite harmful to the body. For instance we know that smoking causes cancer. There is a warning from the Surgeon General alerting the consumer to the dangers and perils of smoking but it is still accepted... Gradually the world at large is becoming more desensitized and slowly killing yourself little by little in one way or another has become acceptable…

      It is frightening as well as disturbing that we have a growing number of serious self destructive behaviors on the rise. It is important that we continue to bring these issues to the Light. We must encourage the value in self discipline and learning how to reach out when you are hurting… We must promote that life is precious and each person has a purpose. There is an unseen spiritual war all about us that wants to rob us all of having healthy, fulfilling lives with minimal dysfunction… Our teens are suffering greatly! Pain and Fear is the culprit! We must reach out to them... Continuing to seek healthier ways to alleviate these symptoms in a healthy manner is moving in the right direction. It starts with transparency and open honest dialog…

      Thank you for stopping by to share, Peace & Blessings!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Teaches12345, Thank you as always! You have made some great points... Our teens are experiencing an extraordinary amount of pressure on many levels. The “Cutting,” the drug usage, the drinking, the acting out are all cries for help and they are getting louder. I think it is important that this not be just shrugged off as a “growing phase.” Cutting can have dire consequences. I realize that it is not an easy topic but I hope this continues to raise a flag! Quite often they don't really realize why they are "Cutting!" They just know that they are hurting...

      It is important that we continue to instill and encourage healthy boundaries and good principles in these next generations. They are being encouraged to grow up to fast. Too many teens are being nurtured remotely through technology. They need more one on one and personal time spent with family. I realize that many parents are busy but it is still very important to create nurturing home environments and intimate healthy safe support systems. Peace & Blessings!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      lord de cross, You have made an interesting point! It really makes one think about these next generations. They certainly have a real smorgasbord of issues that are being passed down to wade through… We know growing up is not always easy… Therefore we need to extend more compassion and listening ears! It is important that we encourage them to bring their issues to the table so they can pursue healthier viable options in lieu of “Cutting!” Developing a closer intimate walk with the Lord is a good start! Thank you for stopping by to share. Please do come again, Peace & Blessings!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Tammyswallow, Thank You! You have made a very good point! "Cutting" DOES NOT work! You are also right about them trying to get the pain out. Momentarily it distracts them from their intense inner pain and places it upon an area of their body that is visible… It also an indication that the one “Cutting” does need immediate help! I think that it is important that we make known the fact that they have a tremendous need for their feelings to be vented and validated. There is also a great need for a healthy support system to be established as well… The intent here was to encourage others to invite transparency and shed more light on this veiled behavior. I PRAY that this is helpful! Thank you for stopping by to share. Peace & Blessings!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Stars, Life is interesting and can become complicated and overwhelming for some. It is sad that one is compelled to “Cutting” themselves in order to find a sense of relief... However, your example of the young boy serves to show the serious danger of cutting. His anxieties escalated to the point he took his life… I Pray that others are motivated to seek out getting the necessary help that helps them or their love one acquire better coping skills!

      Thank you for stopping by to share. In HIS Love, Grace, Mercy, Joy Peace & Blessings!

    • rjbatty profile image

      rjbatty 5 years ago from Irvine

      I cut myself on a regular basis -- until the blood flows in small rivulets. This occurs each time I use a razor for shaving. (Just trying to add a bit of levity to an extremely serious subject.) Millions of people purposely or unconsciously hurt themselves by smoking, drinking, drugs, overeating, etc. And now we have cutting themselves. What is the root cause of people doing these things? Pain. Fear. Avoidance. Depression. This self-destructive behavior is so wide spread that it's as if every other individual requires his/her own personal, full-time psychoanalyst. Disturbing Hub -- but one that needed to be written.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I voted this up across the board. I heard that this was on the increase within our teen generation. It is also one I have heard in connection with drug usage. I think many of our children do not have the validation and love from their support systems to keep them grounded. Wonderful post, Deborrah, and I hope it helps many.

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 5 years ago from New York

      Agreeing with Tammy. Society is handing the post to unfairness and lost souls. Our future doctors, pilots and Gorvernment will be lead by people with a torny and painful past. Glad you put the word out Deborrah!

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      I have had some experience with cutters and it seems like those who do are trying to let the pain out, though it doesn't work. Your non- judgemental, comforting approach is just awesome. I hope your hub helps and comfort those in need.

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      A wonderful very interesting hub. It was so enlightening to read why the cutting is done. I knew a boy who would cut his wrists. I was very young. He killed himself many years ago. God Bless you for this great hub that can help with answers, and solutions. God Bless You dear heart, and your wonderful family.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Ulrike Grace, Thank You! It has been awhile so glad to hear from you!

      It is a bit surprising the growing number that finds relief in “Cutting” themselves. It is serious and warrants the necessity to have open dialogue on this matter! It is always difficult to discuss topics like “Cutting” because it is not pleasant thinking of someone hurting and in such turmoil... The thought of someone “self mutilating” themselves can be a bit uncomfortable and frightening … But what is most important is that those who feel the need to cut are allowed to freely express however it is they are feeling and then commence to get the necessary help and support they need to begin moving forward!

      There is no shame in getting the necessary and proper “HELP!”

      There is always HOPE! Thank you for your encouraging response and I Hope & PRAY that others are motivated, encouraged and helped as well!

      Thank You again for stopping by to share your insight. Peace & Blessings!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      P420Bear, I hope that this is helpful and encouraging to those who feel the need to cut as well as all concerned. As we openly discuss difficult matters such as this I believe that it helps to shed more light on the topic from various perspectives! As you say this is a “deep topic. ” I believe that each individual must come to terms with themselves as to why they feel the need to cut…

      No doubt they are hurting and there is an enormous amount of stress and anxiety they are experiencing. It is very important that they are connected to someone that they are able to talk to freely and express however it is they are feeling! This helps them to not keep their feelings hidden that keeps them in a dark place … Being able to be Transparent is helpful! I believe that as they embrace their self worth the pathway to healing will commence. Each individual is so different and their impulse to cut themselves varies... It is important that they get the necessary help and a strong reliable support system is established around them.

      Thank you for sharing, Peace & Blessings!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Momster, Thank You for sharing your interesting insight that will help others as well! You are so welcome. Thank you for stopping by and please do come again! Emotional Pain is real and many struggle with it on many levels. Let's continue to encourage healthier ways of dealing with pain and discovering better coping skills. Peace & Blessings!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      Kumar, Thank You for stepping forth to share! How WOINDERFUL that you made the difficult choice to not "Cut" anymore! You reached within and found strength and have taken control! No need to be guilty as you keep moving forward... Just know that you matter! Continue to seek out your purpose and become the "Best you!" Please do come again! Peace & Blessings!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

      jeugenejohn, Thank You! I so appreciate you breaking forth and being my first courageous visitor! Please do come again! Peace & Blessings!

    • UlrikeGrace profile image

      UlrikeGrace 5 years ago from Canada

      Very, very good and needed hub. A lot of people *cut* themselves or as they move through life find other ways to *hurt* themselves. Going to counselors can seem daunting unless encouraged that this is the same as going to a physical doctor for your physical health... there is no shame in it. thank you for taking the time and heart to write this article. I hope and pray that many will read it, both those that hurt themselves and those that care about them. There is help out there... and you have just given them hope ... blessings to you Deborah

    • P420Bear profile image

      P420Bear 5 years ago from Waterville,Me.

      This is a deep topic that has many layers and positions that have to be identified before the solution can be found. This particular Destructive Behavior comes about because the individual has gone through a tremendous ammount of emotional turmoil that they have not over-come. Mostly within girls this behavior takes place but not just subject to them. I believe this behavior is mostly related to the attention deficit of an individual through their childhood and adalescent years and the attention they recieve from having this Psychological break-down.

    • momster profile image

      momster 5 years ago

      Most people cut themselves to handle their emotional pain with physical pain. The physical pain will only hurt for a short time, as where emotional pain can last a life time. People who cut themselves are stronger at taking the physical pain, and not the emotional pain. Great Hub, thank you for sharing.

    • profile image

      kumar24894 5 years ago from Fuck of HUBPAGES

      I did it once. But never after that.. I was guilty doing it to me, and yes your hub is encouring one to all people like me.. Thanks for sharing. VOTED UP AND SHARING

    • jeugenejohn profile image

      jeugenejohn 5 years ago from Kerala

      An interesting Hub with a strong message.


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