When Health, Grieving or Depression Hits, Don't Be Afraid to Reach Out
Do Not Be Afraid To Say Yes !
If anyone ever asks you what they can do to help, here are a few things I came up with. Take them seriously and say "Yes, then ask for one or two of these ideas". Not only will you receive the help you need, you will make another feel good about giving. That is an important part of our lives, both giving and receiving. Don't feel that you are being a burden. If someone offers, take them up on it. Then take time to recover instead of worrying about what need done.
Let Me Know If You Need Help
Have you ever said that to someone? I have, and usually I never hear from them again, and I always felt that I should do something but what? Some people are great at taking dinners to those in need. They are greatly appreciated, That is one of the greatest things you can do for someone. I have sent food before, but never the whole meal including desert. I was blessed by friends and family bringing us a balanced meal, vegetables and all. Not only do I not have to worry about dinner, my husband has had leftovers for his lunch. If you enjoy cooking, ask if there is anything the recipients do not like or allergic to .Bringing them a home cooked meal will definitely be appreciated by all. Just call ahead and let them know so they do not make other plans.
What If You Hate To Cook?
The last few years I sometimes dread it. It may be the years of working in a kitchen, or burnout from raising a family, but some days I hate it! While I am recuperating as a one armed bandit, I see so much that needs done.That is what inspired me to write this, not just for you, but for me also. Vacuuming, and or mopping is something you can do if you do not like to cook. Most cannot do that after surgery, and or do not feel like it while grieving. Do not try to clean the whole house, because the recipients may feel lazy or incompetent for not keeping up. Even though you mean well, it is hard to just sit while someone else cleans your home.
Ideas You Wouldn't Think Of
Changing the sheets on the bed are a lot harder than you think when you are laid up. Asking to change the sheets, fluff the pillows, or do some laundry are all good ideas. Whether they are sick, depressed or had surgery changing the sheets makes you feel better and cleaner. The feel of nice clean sheets make me smile. Also cleaning out the refrigerator and emptying the garbage are things you could ask about. I suggest you just say " I want to do something for you while I am here," and give a couple of examples for them to pick from. That way it doesn't' sound like "you need to do this."
Bathroom Duty ??
Because of the type of intimacy of the bathroom, helping is best for close friends or family. I know my tub glares at me every time I take a shower. Because of the type of injury I had, it has been awhile since my scrubbing muscle could scrub. My husband did a real good job on it once, but men tend to not care about the bathroom. I may be wrong, if so my apologies. I remember though after a C-section my mother in law came and cleaned my tub. She said she could not believe all the build up on it, but she did get in sparkling clean. I was grateful for her hard work, but felt inadequate as a wife, maybe that is one reason it is hard for me to ask for help. Trust me it is very much appreciated., please don't tell them how bad it was.
There is always something that needs done in the yard. If you like to garden or do crafty things, a seasonal surprise would be nice! I remember one year I helped my elderly friend get down her Christmas decorations, and we had a lot of fun together. Raking, mowing, snow plowing, planting or pruning, if your outdoorsy type of person, there are always things to do. .
If someone has a dog you are acquainted with, it would mean a lot to both dog and owner to be taken for a walk. Also a nice brushing, petting or playing would be very helpful. It is sad for me to know she wants to go for a walk but doesn't understand why I cannot do it. Every dog likes a nice walk.
I had never thought about all the things I could do for someone else before I wrote this article. It has helped me get a better range of things that I could do for others. A lot of hints are things that I never thought of before. I always knew that a dish of food would be thoughtful, but there are so many other little things you can do for someone who never calls to ask for help. Just offer any of these ideas and I am sure they will be grateful for at least one or more. I plan to keep this as a remembrance next time I ask if "there is anything I can do for you?"