How to be Happy - We Create It

Welcome to How to be happy - we create it.

For some reason it generally takes about a century for the majority of we humans to accept tenets of a psychological or spiritual nature. This is not the case with technology and innovation, where we’re liable to change to the new far more rapidly. But when it comes to changing our views of the world, our philosophy of life, we’re far more reticent.

It was as long ago as 1960 that Dr. Maxwell Maltz declared in his masterpiece: ‘Psycho-Cybernetics, that the most important thing to be discovered in the 20^th Century was the “self image.” Despite more than half a century having past, most people do not appreciate that they have a real self, and an image self. Most of us still identify with the latter.

Dr. Maltz goes on to say that a healthy interpretation of our self-image becomes the golden key to living a better life. Dr.Maltz says that this is true because of two important discoveries (still largely unrecognized by most today) that firstly: All our actions, feeling, behavior – even our abilities – are always consistent with our self image. And secondly: Our self image can be changed.

Now I want you to understand that the self-image is not us. It is how we see ourselves. It is how we feel about ourselves. As often as not it bears little relationship to reality. Moreover, most people have a lot of hang-ups, a lot of negativity regarding their self image. Ninety percent of people regard themselves in an inferior way. It might be their interpretation of their physicality: too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, feet to big, the list is all but endless. It might be our interpretation of our mental capacities or skills: “I’m useless at math.” “I can’t spell, never have been able to.” Or “I’m not mechanically gifted,” et cetera. And finally it might be a morale interpretation kept to ourselves out of shame. “I know I’m weak.” “I steal things –can’t help myself.” “I know I’m a drug addict.” “I know I can’t be faithful to one woman.” And most of these morale interpretations are generally kept, as are many of the others, to ourselves. We have parts of ourselves we don’t wish to share with the world. We might even despair over parts of our self-image.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz found, as many other plastic and cosmetic surgeons had also found, that if we change the face of someone who regards themselves as ugly to someone who regards themselves as handsome or beautiful, it generally changes the whole way they look at life. I say generally, because it is not always the case; mostly, but not always. Sometimes people can be made more handsome or beautiful yet the patient swears that no change has been made at all. This is where it became apparent to Dr. Maltz that it is not how we appear to others but how we appear to ourselves which determines the characteristics of our self image. After all, our self image is OUR self image. It is personal.

But to get back to the first part of the key to a happier life as far as the self image is concerned. All our actions, feelings, behaviors – even our abilities – are consistent with our self image. We never wander outside its parameters. Indeed, we cannot.

So what are we to do?

The answer: If we are unhappy with our lot, no matter in what way, we need to change our self image. And we now know that it can be changed. In fact that we can change it has been known for well over half-a-century. All sorts of scientific tests have been done to prove it.

“How is our self-image created in the first place?” you might ask. We created it. We created it initially by accepting what had been put to us by figures we regarded as authorities and all knowing people: generally our parents, siblings, and teachers in infancy. Then we added to all of this with our self-talk, our interpretation of our so-called failures and successes. Not only others feedback but our own feedback. Nearly all of this – perhaps all of it – was done unconsciously. We didn’t know we were doing it to ourselves. We did it with our own minds, or a part of our minds’ Maltz calls our Creative Mechanism.

But here is another important thing to know. The Creative Mechanism within us is impersonal. It does not care whether it is making us happier or unhappier. It is a bit like throwing down seeds upon a fertile garden bed. Whatever is planted will grow. It will grow even quicker if watered in with lots of emotion. It is a case of our habitual thinking, our habitual reactions to events. If we think in negative ways, if we get cranky and irritable about our shortcomings much of the time, then we sow seeds of discontent which will grow within us, thus fortifying and enhancing a self-image which will bring to us things we don’t want. And I’m not just talking about bad thoughts here. It will bring us tangible circumstances, events, situations, and even material things we do not want.

On the other hand, if we plant seeds which are positive, we reap the benefits of that positivity in the form of a self-image with which we are much happier. Happiness is not dependent upon what happens outside of us. These outside events only trigger what we have within. It really is a case of happiness being an inside job.

So how do we establish within ourselves a negative or positive self image? We do it with our imaginings. The goals our ‘Creative Mechanism’ seeks to achieve are the mental pictures, the images we create by the use of our imagination. Imagination is paramount here. So, as I’ve said so many times before: be aware, monitor your thoughts. Bring your rambling self-talk and imaginings under the control of your real self. Do this, and you will lead a much happier life.

I hope you've got something worthwhile from reading How to be happy - we create it. And I wish you all the happiness you can create for yourself.