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What Did It Feel Like Having My Last Drink Of Alcohol
My Last Dance With Alcohol
What did it feel like having my last drink of alcohol is a question I often ask myself, because even though it has only been one and a half years ago it feels like I never drank a drop of alcohol in my life.
This may sound strange to many people reading this, but I would never lie about something that was such a huge part of my life and my families life as well.
There are days I think and remember my sober date of October 27, 2009, and by thinking about that date, that had changed my life forever, it brings me to a happy place we all call sobriety. The clean and sober life I now lead is a healthy and happy life as well.
I can remember that evening in my garage drinking beer all alone as usual wondering where my life was headed being so addicted to alcohol and couldn't go a night without it. I couldn't wait to get home after work and crack that first beer can open. As I sit here a write this it really upsets me that I allowed my demons to take control of my life and that I wasn't strong enough to say no.
The saddest part of it all is that I wasn't only hurting myself, I was destroying and silently killing my family and the life I shared with them.
Hearing The Voice
That lonely night in my garage I heard the voice, the voice of God. As he spoke to me reminding me that I am self destructing myself, meaning I was about to lose everything I ever had. My family, my health, my belongings and a very good chance my own life if I didn't do something about my addiction to alcohol real fast. Time was wasting and I was told I was almost out of it.
I stopped tilting my can of beer and just started to listen to my inner voice. What was said to me stop me right in my tracks and caught my attention for the first time in years. People would say things such as me quitting my drinking, but I never paid one bit of attention to them and what they were saying, but to hear the voice of God, you better believe I paid attention that time.
It was at that moment I surrendered to my addiction to alcohol and raised my arms in the air and ask God to help me. Please help me save my family and save my life Dear God. The answer was: "I will help you if you are willing to help yourself."
Of course, I was indeed willing to help myself. I have had enough of that type of life and just wanted to live a clean and sober life and start enjoying my family as I should have done all those years ago.
WHAT IT FELT LIKE HAVING MY LAST DRINK OF ALCOHOL:
Having that last drink of alcohol was really tough. It was tough because alcohol was a huge part of my life for so many years. It felt like I was about to lose a arm or leg and never be able to get them back.
It felt like I was losing my best friend, in which I guess alcohol was my best friend for many of years, sad to say! I put alcohol in front of everything including my own family.
The one most important thing that came into my mind was, I said to myself, "what was more important, alcohol or my life and my family." Well that one simple question to myself did it for me. I said to myself, "I have to be out of my mind to lose everything over an addiction to alcohol."
I certainly didn't want to lose them or lose my own life for an avoidable addiction to alcohol. That simple question and my answer to that question gave me the determination and the willingness to stop drinking alcohol.
Between the help from God, giving me the courage and the strength to quit drinking and with me having the willingness and determination to surrender and stop drinking forever, I now lead a normal life, the life of sobriety.
I will never look back at the past, or kick myself for not quitting drinking alcohol years ago. I will concentrate on my new life being clean and sober and enjoy each day being sober with my family and new friends.