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What Does A True Alpha Female Stand For?

Updated on November 8, 2019
Rosana Clarkson profile image

This article is dedicated to my gorgeous daughter Jessica, a true Alpha Princess.

My Perception of a True Alpha Female and Ways to Embrace Your Own Alpha Femininity

I don't know how or why, but I am sure I am one of these individuals who was just born deplorably clumsy. I am guessing it can't be due to mental retardation because I always score well above average in IQ tests and excel in other areas but when it comes to not dropping or tripping over or bumping into stuff or knocking things over or getting my fingers caught in the path of a closing door I am quite excessively stupid so I finally tried to compensate by prancing around town with a pair of sunglasses, (see similar pair in image below), and then it wasn't until the end of the day that I realized I still had the UV ray sticker stuck on one of the lenses. At least it explains why people were looking at me kinda funny.

So this is pretty much the reason I have been forced to pronounce myself doomed to permanent Dorkdom. I can just never be cool, regardless of what I do or don't do.

The good news is, the regularity with which I embarrass myself at least provides me an effective system through which I can remind myself not to lock my keys in the car, which seems to be the only thing I can do right.

And, while I don't think anyone else could possibly be as klutzy as me, I hope it is of some comfort to my fellow klutzes to know that being Alpha isn't necessarily a mental retardation or mental intelligence thing, or about being a dork or not being a dork; it's about preferring the fight-not-flight-option approach to life regardless of how much of a dork you are, and about staying true to yourself and all you believe in.

Once I started to reprogram my mind to think like an Alpha female and to take charge of my life, I began to see I was capable of becoming an Alpha female if I really set my mind to it. So, believe me, if there is hope for a lost cause like me, there is hope for anyone.

My Inspirations for Becoming Alpha

I don't know how this one story originates, but I once heard about a little boy who found a butterfly struggling to hatch from its cocoon; seeing how difficult of a time it was having pushing its way through the tiny opening it was allowed, the boy decided to take the butterfly home with him.

He watched the butterfly struggle for what seemed hours until it finally appeared to give up, too spent to go any further. Moved by worry and compassion, the boy decided to take a pair of scissors and to help the butterfly by cutting the cocoon to make the opening large enough for the butterfly to crawl through; however, once set free, the butterfly didn't look like a butterfly at all, but a strange-looking insect with an abnormally swollen body and tiny, shriveled wings. It spent its entire life crawling around and never being able to fly.

The child's heart was in the right place and I do congratulate him for that, however, he didn't know that the butterfly's exhausting, seemingly endless struggle was necessary in order to give it a chance to exercise its wings and to squeeze unnecessary liquid out of its body in order to prepare itself for flight outside of its cocoon, as nature intended.

It's when I think about my own hardships that I refer back to this story, whenever I feel tempted to get mopey and pouty, as is the natural human tendency. The life lesson here is that fighting makes us stronger. We are meant to be beautiful, strong, wild, and free, some of us are simply still in a cocoon and still need time to struggle and grow in order to get there.

Getting back to my eternal awkwardness, I figured that my propensity to accidentally demolish everything in my path might not in fact be a mental intelligence thing, as I mentioned, some of us are just born this way, or maybe it could just be that some folks are so intelligent that they have no room left for common sense.

It could also be borne of anxiety or other issues; in my case, I figured that if it wasn't due to some medical issue then maybe participating in sports like Tai Kwon Do, dance, gymnastics, etc., could help improve my spatial body awareness and coordination and could lead to some improvements.

"But R.C.!" some of my well-meaning but annoying buddies yelled at me from behind.

I turned around and shrieked, "Eeeeeeeeeek!" in horror.

"Why do you want to take up martial arts, Rosie? You don't want to mess up that beautiful face of yours, do you? I mean, this is a boy's sport, and you're a girl. You do remember that, don't you?"

I smiled sweetly. "But y'all sorta represent the little boy in the aforementioned story; I know y'all mean well and are not deliberately trying to squelch my enthusiasm and my growth, but, like with the hapless butterfly, you are doing so all the same. If we have others in our lives who suppress our potential, whether knowingly or unknowingly, we will never have a chance to discover the true brilliance and strength of our wings and fly...right?"

"Why don't you just take up sewing?"

I don't recall how many years it was that I sulked afterward, but one day, I got up and walked around grumbling, "Screw these pieces of (beep). If they're gonna give me (beep) then I'm gonna give them (beep). All they wanna do is talk (beep) and (beep) over all me so I'm gonna do whatever I (bleepity-bleep-beep) want. (Beep)." (I probably shouldn't insert even more of what I want to here).

So seeing others with success and prominence in the public eye, including some of my fave movie divas like Angelina Jolie rocking their badazzery on-screen, is what inspired me to pursue kick-boxing and other sports I was sure guys wouldn't be admonished for having a passion for, refusing to allow my gender to limit me.

One story that especially motivated me was a radio documentary I heard about music artist Roger Hodgson, of the rock band Supertramp, who reportedly was in a serious accident that disabled him from performing music for some time. Despite his doctor's poor prognosis, Hodgson refused to accept it and worked extra hard on summoning up the faith, courage, and strength he needed to further treat his injuries. In time, he eventually was able to make a full recovery and return to his music career.

What Hodgson's experience taught me was that you never know if seemingly impossible trials can be overcome if you don't give yourself a fair chance. I hope his story encourages others as it did me, and you never know if you will encourage someone else if you follow the same.

To stop progressing, trying, achieving, and believing can and will prove key to our spiritual deaths. Once we come to an unexpected intersection, we must make a choice to either remain in our comfort zones and give up or to move on to the next level. It is more about the effort and not the outcome that could give us the jumpstart we need to keep moving.

You always will encounter those clowns who will try to tell you dumb things to try sabotage you, and it's important not to let that discourage you, as some folks are simply narcissistic and delusional and need someone to feel superior to.

Another lady friend of mine, for instance, tried to convince me that she had possession of the sword of She-Ra, the most powerful woman in the universe, which, of course, is ridiculous because everyone knows that I have the actual sword of She-Ra and that I am in fact She-Ra the most powerful woman in the universe.

Now that we all have this understanding, I think that before we address the steps necessary to become an Alpha female, it is important to first understand what being an Alpha female actually means.

Common Traits of an Alpha Female

I guess everyone has differing perspectives on what a true Alpha female is, but in my view, she is usually well-spoken, and can effectively communicate new ideas while understanding old. She is disciplined and organized or at least gives the impression she is.

Being that we are shooting for leadership qualities which we find in CEO's or generals, she needs to be believable and an effective saleswoman with an eloquent pitch. The hope is that her integrity is with a powerful and memorable "stage presence."

I don't know if any background in a street gang or in the military applies here, but the top-ranking officials or the most powerful "operators" often don't seem considered the strongest. Violence and strength might be recognized in varying parts of the team. An Alpha female knows and asks for what she wants, and says no to what she doesn't want. She is honest without being aggressive, rude, or bullyish. A woman who is genuinely comfortable in her divine feminine power has no need to control anyone.

In my experience, Alpha women tend to be animated; they often obtain trust of others, but not necessarily implicit loyalty or willingness to die.

An Alpha female is a gem at leading a specific setting: this house, this city, this prison; it is often about her overall aura of quiet, matter-of-fact command and suave authority, and about promoting an image of integrity, respect, vision, and presence.

In modern politics, results don't always seem important; even in the corporate world, one can bankrupt one place and move to the next. Those who follow an Alpha female see her as a rock of support and stability, an anchor to keep everyone around her grounded. She might look at your shoes when she speaks and deserve more respect than she receives but not find any if she lacks stage presence. Others simply need to trust and assume that she is not out to harm or mislead.

I think the ideal Alpha female is sexy, cunning, balanced, even-keeled, down-to-earth and casual in her independence, often sporty, a go-getter, into gymnastics and other hardcore forms of athleticism, the type who would venture where others fear to tread, who one wouldn't want to walk in front of in a dark alley.

I find that the strong, silent, low-key, low-profile, introverted queen who has a unique "walk" and more to her inner workings than she lets on, who can wreck anyone who picks a fight with her, and then do so more with pity than anger, is a real warrior.

In a nutshell, being Alpha basically just means being a strong, confident leader. A woman who stays true to herself and her beliefs in the face of what others think, who never allows anyone to doubt herself, defines a true, self-actualized Alpha female.

If any of this seems overwhelming, bear in mind that no one becomes Alpha overnight. As the Supertramp founder already proved, big goals can be obtained in small steps.

Coming from someone whose parents' idea of discipline was to toss a little girl down the stairs or to tell her daily that she was stupid or constantly beat her senseless before literally abandoning her to steal thousands of dollars from a regularly issued check intended for her, rising above my past has indeed been a grueling, gut-wrenching journey.

If you have a background similar to mine, I know it is mind-shattering, but believe me when I say you can and will build up from it. As I myself have discovered, success at anything is the best revenge.

The Power Of the Subconscious Mind

So this article is basically about mind over matter. My way of coping with what I had gone through has been to make it my life's mission to prove to myself that my parents and others like them are dead wrong, as well as recovering whoever the girl I am meant to be is but lost at their hands. It is why I often find myself doing the opposite of what others demand I should and usually come out for the better because of it.

Don't worry, I know when to rein myself in when necessary. If I had absolutely no control over my immediate impulses, I would have made mad, passionate love with a cute, flirty car wash worker, punched a bus driver in the middle of his old Shrek-looking face, succumbed to my incredible urge to dive out of an elevator like Indiana Jones and grab my backpack just in time with a bunch of strangers watching, and uttered all types of the most freakishly stupid, random things I could think of in public places for no ostensible reason whatsoever, ("Duhhh, which way did he go? Which way did he go?" "I don't know what people have against poison, it's delicious!" "I twirl around in my underwear," "Boom-chicka-boom, pooh-yeah, be bombombom, aye-aye, shake that booty...wooo-hooooooo, all up in it, ewwww, baby, Soulja Boy, chocolate buttcheek.")

Cathartic though I know it is to do these things and as much as I know more people would definitely do them if there were no social laws or restrictions against them, Alphas are balanced and in control, as I already mentioned; and again, if you want to be successful with accomplishing your goals, you can't afford to allow the negative opinions and comments of others to bother you.

I don't think I am really feeding into all the hype about the Law of Attraction theory, but I do believe that there is a grain of truth in how what you constantly manifest in your mind might eventually manifest into your reality.

For example, the more you mentally manifest that a 300-pound guy might step on your toe, the more likely you will physically manifest a 300-pound guy stepping on your toe.

The more you believe and tell yourself you are beautiful, the more others around you will see it too.

As basketball is one of my current hobbies, I find that I tend to have more success in sending a ball through a hoop if I know it will go in rather than simply "hope" it will. I try to apply this principle to all other aspects of my life. I see no point in pursuing an endeavor if I don't believe ahead of time that I already have what it takes to succeed.

Much of this is the reason I am never afraid to stand out. Singularity, even extravagance, is what I shoot for. This is what I am, and that's it.

Regarding my disposition, I like to work according to my own set of laws; I never was a big fan of "tradition." Staying off the beaten track is my aim.

Doing what I can to fit the mold? No, thanks. Developing a vivacious and independent nature remains amongst my aspirations, while striving to remain thorough at the same time.

I find that keeping to a steady diet of high vibrational, plant-based foods, vitamins, teas, vegan protein shakes, etc. seems to keep my spirit vibrating at a high frequency. Doing all in your power to keep your vibration high can keep you on the path to living a joyous, authentic life. Never believe something is too hard or that you are inadequate.

You may not know where it will lead, but try forging your own route towards healing and discovery and following it, despite unforeseen obstacles. If you look within yourself you may be able to pull out the needed strength, courage, and wisdom you never knew you had.

Bucket List Of Adventurous Goals

Sometimes having a bucket list of adventurous goals to work toward can keep a person from meandering endlessly through life, whether or not they succeed in reaching them. Simply having something fun to look forward to can be exciting and fulfilling in and of itself, no matter how impossible or delusional your dreams might seem. Pursuing whatever you want passionately and relentlessly can already be a satisfying adventure.

Of course, it is always important to strike the right balance between being zealous and realistic. Even though you will always find those supposedly well-intentioned friends who will make discreet pokes at your weight, age, financial status, etc., there really might be legitimate reasons to use appropriate caution when pursuing something that means a lot to you, so it might be best to do so under the advice of a trusted physician, therapist, life coach, etc.

At the end of the day, it is best to use your own judgment, as you know your life and yourself better than anyone; it is what being an adult is all about. As the saying goes, where there is a will, there is a way. There are varying levels of living life authentically, within reason, and within your own ability, so as long as you do your best, you can never fail.

The following are suggestions for possible goals for those who feel, as I do, that cultivating a thrill-seeking spirit can further enhance one's Alpha potential.

  • Explore plants and animals in a jungle.
  • Rough it under the stars.
  • Visit the highest-rated hotels in the world and enjoy fine dining.
  • Learn martial arts.
  • Build a stronger/better body.
  • See the Norway Lights.
  • Visit the Egyptian pyramids.
  • Go speed skating in the Netherlands.
  • Drive a bobsled in Switzerland.
  • Circle the Southern Tier.
  • Sail around the world.
  • Visit the shrines of the 12 Imams.
  • Learn to fly a plane.
  • Put on a wingsuit and fly among the canyons.
  • Go sky-diving, scuba diving, trekking, rock climbing, paragliding, water rappeling.
  • Travel to the most haunted places in the U.S.A. and sleep on the property overnight, travel to outer space, tour the universe and meet an alien, do pantsless karaoke on the moon for 500 hours straight, make out with a hot Italian guy on a magical gondola ride in Venice forever...well, okay, these are mine, but I guess enough folks can relate.

I believe everyone can face and overcome their fears by going on an adventure trip at least once in their life. I subscribed to a group on YouTube named YES Theory, and admire how its promoters constantly push themselves out of their comfort zones and encourage random people to join in too. It's why I consider my own long-term goal to consistently keep myself out of my own comfort zone its own adventure. You never know how much your own life can change if you approach yours with a similar mindset, and if you never allow anything or anyone to limit you. As YES Theory urges, in taking a spontaneous, random trip, you may discover that if you travel with a meaningful, humanitarian purpose, the world can be kind if you are kind first.

Another good women-empowering resource is available at https://go.liveyourdream.org. I think the more you avail yourself of all options, opportunities, and itineraries that present themselves to you, the more success and self-fulling prophecy you will find with working out your plans. Having a concrete blueprint always helps.

Positive Self-Affirmations to Help You Become an Alpha Female

There is a philosophy going around that when you regularly recite positive self-affirmations, they may not appear to be true at first, but with diligence, faith, and consistency, you can allow them to become deeply ingrained into your subconscious mind until you not only believe them to be true, but they actually become true as well; it's as the popular motto goes: "Fake it till you make it." And, as I already stated, don't simply hope these things will happen, reach out and own them.

The following is a list of affirmations that could possibly help you to become the Alpha female you desire to be if you practice saying them to yourself regularly. Some may feel relevant for you and some may not. Add, edit, or delete in whichever way works for you. Again, seeking medical advice from the proper specialist before embarking on any new routine is always best.

  • I am an Alpha female.
  • I fearlessly embrace life in all of its fullness.
  • At my core pulsates an incandescent fire.
  • I am blossoming day by day.
  • I have loads of sex appeal.
  • I am free as a bird.
  • I am a success at all I do.
  • Every choice I make is the right one.
  • I am radiant.
  • I am luminous.
  • I am stunning.
  • I am brilliant.
  • I am beautiful.
  • I am gorgeous.
  • I totally rock.
  • I have the sexiest walk of the century.
  • God supports all my efforts.
  • I have confidence in all my gifts and abilities.
  • Other women ache to be me.
  • I am achieving all my goals.
  • I am a goddess of light.
  • I am always calm when speaking to new people.
  • I am eloquent in my speech.
  • I am naturally intriguing.
  • I easily take control.
  • I am cool, centered, and collected even in stressful situations.
  • I easily attract men.
  • Being Alpha is the easiest thing in the world.
  • I am desirable to men.
  • I turn heads everywhere I go.
  • I am a strong, independent leader.
  • I adopt the mindset to congratulate myself.
  • I draw from my inherent strength, fortitude, courage, and light.
  • I am a fighter.
  • I am breathtaking.
  • I am a rare and beautiful jewel.
  • I am exceptional.
  • I am a diva at all times of day and night.
  • Following my instincts and my heart keeps me safe and sound.
  • I am surrounded by a protective, pure, white-gold light of peace and love.
  • I have the transcendent beauty and allure of an Alpha female.

One mantra that especially stands out for me is that going with your gut intuition and not necessarily what others tell you is usually the best way to go. If something one of your current buttholes is saying to you feels yucky, it probably is. It really is best to dismiss such individuals and to look for others who build you up rather than push you down...after you tape fake eviction notices onto the prior ones' doors, of course.

Really though, shifting energy from having been abused forever has been the most intoxicating experience for me; the power of reaffirming myself and my beliefs regularly takes me places I have never been before; I want positive self-affirmations to ask me out. I want them to wine and dine me and woo me every second. I want them to invite me on a lavish and romantic Caribbean cruise and propose to me in an adventurous and fashionable way and...


....uh, well, maybe I should stay focused here. If some of these goals seem a bit much, at the moment, I suggest you start off small, in low-stakes situations, such as in being a tourist of your own city, learning a new language, trying a new food, volunteering at a local pet shelter, calling a friend you haven't seen in a while, doing one kind deed for a stranger no matter how seemingly small. Get out of the house just for the sake of it, even when you don't feel like it. Being in harmony with our own energy makes our lives much lighter, which, ultimately, provides the greatest satisfaction and fulfillment.

Alpha Goddesses, Spread Your Colorful Wings and Fly

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