What Is Preventing You From Finding Success? A Moment With Bill Reflection

“Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.”

Bo Bennett

There is no escaping them late at night. That is the time when they come creeping into your space, poisoning you, draining you, sucking the positive energy out of you in a vampiristic display of gluttony…..

You are not good enough

You are a loser

You fail at everything

You don’t deserve to succeed

Your intentions are so good. You have watched others grab the brass ring in life and they do it so effortlessly. Why can’t you? Why are your good intentions continually sidetracked, hijacked and bushwhacked on the road of life? Why do others seemingly have a never-ending supply of “the right stuff” while you struggle daily to even remember where the “stuff” is?

Success…..why does it come easily for some and always seems to be just out of reach for others? Are you one of those who just can’t quite get their act together? Is success simply a seven-letter word that will always be defined as “fantasy” in your life?

Perhaps there are reasons why that is, and perhaps, if we better understand those reasons, we will be able to steer you back to the path of success. How can we expect you to change if you do not have the tools, and one of those tools is an understanding of what has held you back for so long.

Are you ready, then, to begin? Are you ready to take the first step towards self-reflection and thereby towards that elusive success you have long-sought?

Let us move on, then, to ten reasons why people do not succeed.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST PLAIN LAZY

As opposed to “fancy” lazy? Sorry, I couldn’t resist a little humor.

Seriously, folks, successful people are successful in part because they work their asses off. There will always be the one or two who are born into the lap of success, but by and large history is littered with the stories of success based on blood, sweat and tears.

Get off of your comfortable and ever-expanding butt and work towards your goal. It ain’t going to happen by osmosis.

NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING

Unless you are born into a royal family, you are entitled to nothing. I taught school for eighteen years and I was blown away by the number of kids who thought something was owed to them simply because they had mastered the fine art of breathing in and breathing out.

Forgetaboutit! You are owed nothing! The world owes you nothing! Your parents owe you nothing! Life owes you nothing!

I AM AFRAID

You are afraid of looking foolish. You are afraid of the opinions of others and you are afraid of failing. You are afraid of consequences and you are afraid of heartbreak and disappointment and the tears that follow failure….and so you do not act at all. You have been holding onto your dreams, and you have tucked them away for safe-keeping, and there they are, gathering dust, constant reminders of all that is just out of your reach, just out of your reach because of fear.

GARBAGE IN/GARBAGE OUT

Your friends and family are sucking the life out of you with their negativity, and now you catch yourself finding negatives in situations where once you found the positives.

The life force is slowly being drained from your psyche. Negative people will do that to you.

Surround yourself with positive people. There is an aura of success that envelops positive people, and you need to cover yourself with that aura.

Adopt a new mantra: positive in/positive out…PIPO….think positive thoughts and positive actions will follow.

PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS

Does this sound familiar? You take a look at every action and every decision like it is life or death. You consider scenarios and you consider outcomes, and you weigh this and you weigh that, and when all the weighing is over absolutely nothing has been done. The moment has passed and a new set of paralyzing decisions have to be made.

Time and opportunities wait for no man. Quit thinking and start doing.

NO PLAN MAN (OR WOMAN)

My apologies to the Beatles and this paraphrasing attempt at humor: No Plan Man, please listen, you don’t know what you’re missing…No Plan Man, the world is at your command.

How long can the average swimmer tread water? An hour? A few hours?

I know some people who have been treading water their entire lives. They think that their dreams and goals will just magically happen one day without any input or interference by them. They are sitting back and waiting for the lucky break that will turn their lives around, and it never occurs to them that waiting is a fool’s game.

Set goals…small, attainable goals….and then build on them as you work towards a larger goal. It’s the only way. “Winging it” or “playing it by ear” will give you over-developed wings and ears but nothing more.

STOP BLAMING “THEM”

There are no conspiracies stopping you. There are no clandestine meetings of people whose sole purpose is to ruin your life.

Look in the mirror if you want to see the reason why you have failed so far. The sooner you take responsibility for your actions, the sooner you will step onto a healthier path.

YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A SUCCESS

Bull! Please don’t tell me you aren’t good-looking enough, and please don’t tell me that you are lacking some important internal trait that means you are doomed forever to a life of mediocrity.

You were given the basic tools to succeed at birth. What you have done with those tools up to this point is on your shoulders. You can pick up those tools and make them work for you, or you can continue to bemoan the fact that life supposedly short-changed you in the lottery.

YOU ARE A TIME WASTER

Chasing your tail is more like it. You have perfected the fine art of “working at doing nothing.”

Successful people are constantly working towards their goals. Their actions are dictated by their vision of the future. They see success and they are constantly moving in that direction, and wasted movements are not in their DNA.

Set a schedule and stick with it. End the distractions and focus. We all only get one chance at this living thing; do you really think productivity arises from killing time?

YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE

Somehow and some way, you developed the belief that success only happens to other people. You managed to convince yourself that your lot in life is to just settle for the status quo, so you stagnated and got comfortable. In other words, you quit believing in your capabilities.

Finding success will not happen until you believe that you not only deserve success but that you will achieve success. If you do not believe in you, how can you expect others to believe in you?

Where are you on this list? Does one apply to you or several?

Now that we have pinpointed the exact problem, what are you going to do about it? That’s the big question, isn’t it? Knowledge is useless without action. Reflection is just so much mental exercise unless we kick it into gear and leave neutral.

One year when I was a teaching a new student came to our school. She was a 6^th grader and she was one of those people that exuded defeat. She had no faith in herself or her abilities. By the time September came to a close it was obvious that she had already given up.

Can you imagine being eleven years old and being convinced that your life will never improve? That you will always be a failure? Eleven years old!

There is always time to change. You have the skills to succeed, and now that you know why you haven’t succeeded in the past you can do something about it.

Don’t you think it’s about time?

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

“Helping writers to spread their wings and fly.”