What Matters: Sleep On It

Maria, your momma and my mammaw would have been best friends.

"Always make sure your words are soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them"

I like Kenny Rogers "the Gambler"

Blessings my dear friend.

Dear Maria, your mom was a wise woman, and you seem to be blessed with the same qualities. I am blessed to call you friend.

Thumb-up UABI and shared.

I don't know how I missed this one but I did.

Blessings and Hugs dear friend

Dear Marcoujor,

10 months ago! How could it be? I re read this dear Sista, and guess what? It's still as lovely as I remember! We've gone through many things together since then, and I continue to appreciate your sweetness and kindness every day.

This whole article was full of wisdom and beautifully written. It's ironic some of what your precious mom instilled in you, with the various sayings. Our mom did the same for us. Another one she would tell us often is "In the best of us, there is a little bad. " In the worst of us, there is a little good". " Make sure we take self responsibility for always setting the examples of bringing out the "good " in us.

Thank you for your talent, your amazing beauty inside. Shared, up!

Shalom

Oh, sleeping on it is important as it gives you a clearer perspective! Thanks for sharing, Maria!

How fortunate, Maria, that you have had such a wise loving Momma and an intelligent Ralph in your life to help you see what matters most. Some folks never learn that lesson that life is too short and valuable to spend time trying to revisit the past. Thanks for reminding the rest of us.

I can't think of a better way to start my day.So wonderful and refreshing.

Maria, you always say the most beautiful things. Great insights, deep thoughts, and a sweet tribute to your mother. You also remind me that I need to take after you and be more organized. I need to get my house in order, because we never know when it will all be over and someone will be left with the mess. LOL. Wonderful hub, Maria!

. . . ohh, c'mon - you guys are embarrassing me. I suppose I can see "smart" and maybe even "sweet", but I don't really think I'm THAT "pretty".

fpherj48, she is a beauty, in every sense of the word, and I am so happy to call her my dear friend and Sista! Daily thanks to you, Maria!

Maria- not-only-smart-and-sweet-but-pretty-too-Jordan.....So good to see you and read more inspiring words of wisdom from one of my favorite people. Welcome back to the everyday life, ongoing seminar. I thought about you and sent wishes to you, from my heart, during your recent, sad loss.....Geoff, as well, of course.....simply put, I understand.

You never fail to educate me and lift my spirits, by sharing your stunning talents with your readers. Your mother's words of wisdom, which you cherish and rely upon, come from the very core of a loving, protective and generous woman. SHE is so very proud of you, Maria.

UP+++

Beautiful article, Maria. I have learned some of the same or similar lessons as you have throughout life. They have not all been easy to learn and some were learned by trial and error. But, the biggest lesson is so much is out of our control. We can only control our reactions and hopefully they are pro-active. As you say, life is a crap shoot. It is a gamble much of the time. Luck is also a part of life. Some have it and some rarely do. Thank you for an enlightening and thought provoking article. Well written and well said.

(wink) :-) Look who's the gracious one!! You!

Maria, where to begin...you covered so much and show yourself as a beacon to guide everyone. You know I admire Dawn and her strength and purpose...she is being taken care of now. I have a feeling your Mom and my Mom are conspiring in heaven as they have so much in common. Lastly this entire hub is a life lesson to all...love and family are what matter, don't sweat the small stuff! God bless.

Voted up, useful, awesome and interesting. I do have to say Vicki is a great addition to Perspectives and the hub community!

Maria, you are truly a champion of perspectives, bringing to light so many of the important things to remember as we travel through this life. These are the things that matter in the big picture. I love what you've said about how positive and negative influences can affect our day with a number of different outcomes. Your life experiences have played such an important role in how you see things. I find it fascinating the way people can go through similar situations and yet draw such different conclusions from them. What a powerful thought, that "forgiveness is always within our power", truly an amazing and liberating observation that allows us to take control of our own destiny. Beautifully written from the heart, what a wonderful message you've shared here. Much love. Peg

So many sayings that were similar to what my mother said too. sometimes we do get stuck in the middle, so to speak, and over the years I have had to step back. I remember having a friend who always turned up even late at night, I always let her in, but then a friend said, why? took me back a bit, then I realised that I had been so weak, I should have stopped her, lifes a funny thing. Your mother sounds like she was a wonderful woman, bit like my mum too, wonderful hub, and voted up and shared, nell

I am very sorry for your loss, Maria. Thank you for sharing Miss Sammie's witty sayings. She was a very wise person and knew a lot about what matters!

Voted up and awesome. I agree there are times when we need to back off and take another look at what is going on around us. Sometimes it's just not worth it to get ourselves all riled up. Life is short as it is and we must live it to the fullest and find some enjoyment each day. Your mom was a very wise woman. Hugs and passing this on. Have a great weekend.

Dear Maria - thank you. You couldn't step on anyone's toes if you had shoes made for the purpose! :-) Love you!

Eddy and Leslie - I am speechless, many thanks for the love and kindness you show me . . . Sorry, Maria, my dear, don't mean to hog your space . . They made me do it!!

First of all - i want to say that your strength in the face of tragedy is the epitome of grace under fire! You have my deepest respect and am proud to call you friend! You truly do respect the wishes of others, are there for them when they need you, and - your strength is admirable!

your mama sounds like my gramma - 'do you have clean underwear on'?

one never knows! lol...

Your perspective on life and what matters will take you THRU life's chaos with panache!

voting sharing

have a great weekend, Maria!

ps - i ADORE VICKI - she's a great addition to ANY group!

Hi my friend, awesome perspectives within this well written article, i enjoyed reading the wisdom of your mom and see much of it within you and your writing . Well done !

Oh Mar this is truy beautiful and it illuminates your strength and great heart.

I haven't been following VickiW for long but am already a great fan of hers.

I vote up,across and share all around. Here's wishing you a wonderful day ahead.

Eddy.

Hi, Faith, reading through Maria's comments, and came to yours. Many thanks for your kind words. That inspires me to do more! Incidentally, I love your work too! Hugs, Vicki

Oh, forgot to mention . . . I really love Vickiw! She is an amazing and interesting writer, and I am glad she is part of the team here.

Hugs, Faith Reaper

Maria ~

This is so cool to me - that after writing my own hub on 'What Matters' striving to rip away all daily routines and the common issues of life that confront each of us, seeking the barest bones of what life presents to us to uncover 'what matters', I come here and find you dealing exactly with those daily routines and the common issues of life that confront each of us . . . and that is, in it's own way, what really matters. What I dealt with matters inside, in the core of who you are as you go about life - what you deal with here is what actually, really matters as you are actually, really dealing with things. This is the point of our 'Perspectives:' series - thank you.

"This morning at my desk, I am remarkably calm and happy"

Hello lovely..what deep & meaningful thoughts you have for us today!!

What matters? I guess to me it's the love of God family & friends for sure! Where would we be without that?? Your mamma was sweet & oh so wise but hey your colleague Ralph is sure up there in the wisdom stakes..what insightful wise words he had for you ' be hard on the issue but not the person' as a manager if u get that right in life u r doing well!!

Loved this hub Mar, thought provoking , insightful & highlights the quality person you are.. Have a fantastically wonderful day!! Cheers

Hello Maria. More reader than commenter I seek change one step at a time. That said, I appreciate this article with immensity and will be seeking those colleagues. A big congrats to and for VikiW. I look forward to more.

Insight is discovered, wisdom offered as uncovered, and the practical of experience shares much. I ponder a nap, said both of jest and the when of the get-go of earlier. Thank you for that reminder, of which another of care, a friend of yours, seems to hint all the time.

Humbly I share I am learning with understanding of who I am is not who I thought. Odd or without oddity how the environment affects perceptions like you shared with the workplace and home. Perspectives may be lost as overshadowed and then may change as high noon passes and shadows are opposite yet equal, except as the moon cast always from once as whence.

Thank you again. I will be sharing with many close and hopefully more abroad. With respect I bow as Sir Sremmus of Leke, friend of Lennas, Warrior Princess and her wise and mature Viking Friend Xam . . .

tim

Dearest Maria. Once again, I relate to your Momma, and how much she reminds me of my parents and their tenets for living. "Sleeping on it" was my Dad's habit. He would always awaken with more clarity and the best answer or resolution to whatever it was.

Putting things on a back burner is another way of prioritizing. Some matters MATTER more than others, which can be slipped to the back for later consideration. Generally, for me, what matters most is people, whom I tend to keep on front burners, even if it means letting other important issues wait a bit. But then, how one relates to people must not be to smother or rule them, but to encourage and applaud them.

Maria, you seem always open to people and ready to offer what you can. That is an important part of this philosophy and perspective you've stated here: knowing what you actually CAN do or give to people is as important as giving it to them. Respecting THEIR preferences in what is offered and how it's offered is as much a gift as anything else one can offer. My dad's admonition was to know my limitations. Of course, I resisted admitting having them, but the fact is, one does have them, especially when it comes to helping others. Giving them their own power and respecting it is vital, in my opinion. No one knows their facts and feelings like they do. One must stand aside and allow them to express and follow through on them, and, as I say, encourage & applaud them when they do, acknowledging that THEY know when they're doing so better than I do.

You exemplify the best in all categories, dear Maria. Thank you for sharing these marvelous thoughts on the subject of WHAT MATTERS! You're qualified to speak on it!! Hugs and love.

Voting up and across!

Maria, this article is very interesting. I found your point about what YOU need from life very enlightening; I used to spend far too long people pleasing and that has now changed - I said to my sister yesterday (after she got upset about something involving a friend) 'You worry too much about other people. People will always do what they want anyway! Worry about yourself for a change.' We need to be there for one another and also be happy in our own skin. I could write you a long(er) comment about just how great I thought this article was; it really touched me. I am a pragmatist - life is good (sometimes), life is bad (sometimes), I am me always and what I do has to matter to me and hopefully, it will matter without hurting or upsetting others (most of the time....)

My dear Maria, I have felt so much for you with the pain of life in the last little while. You are indeed a very wise and lovely woman, who exemplifies love, forgiveness and kindness. Add to that a little spice, and humour, and it is no wonder we listen to what you say, and feel our hearts fill with love when we think about you. This is a very pragmatic and beautiful piece of writing.

Hi, Maria!

Given your sweet disposition, your inner and outer beauty, your compassion, and the pragmatic thread running through your compelling writing, it's no wonder that you pay such loving tribute to your mother and her time-proven wisdom. This was a wonderful read, my friend, and I am blessed to have indulged in it. Aloha and warm thoughts,

Joe

I could read your perspectives concerning life and death, plus, everything in between daily and still want more. You are a wonderful friend who has always been available, no matter what the occasion. You were taught well by Miss Sammie." Self forgiveness is always within our power" is one of the most important lessons i can take away from your beautiful hub, if we are unable to forgive ourselves, how can we ever forgive others? You were in my thoughts amd prayers daily this week, losing a family member is so very difficult. Thank you for being you. I love and deeply respect you..Hugs My Friend..

Oh, Maria, my sweetest friend, your precious Momma and Dawn are looking down from Heaven above and smiling at your wisdom on all of life's issues! This beautiful write is exactly you . . . amazing! Your Momma taught you well about this life we must live no doubt!

I always receive a blessing when I read your work! Your Momma used the same sayings as my Momma did . . . I am not kidding!!!

I love your perspective on "what matters" and I love you too, Faith Reaper

Maria, with every perspective you give us a peek into that wonderful bundle of energy, enthusiasm, wisdom and wonderment that is you. The collective experiences that mould and create us only do so if we are a willing learner, a curious passenger. You show with every remarkable piece of insight as to what matters... this is achingly beautiful. thank you. Hugs.

My Dear Maria,

This hub was such a beautiful tribute to your beloved Dawn and I thank you for sharing it.

I am continually amazed at how you are able to so deftly weave personal experience and teachings into a comprehensive article that imparts life lessons, as well as lessons in finding what truly matters to each reader.

As you so gently pointed out, when it comes to being terminally ill or facing a life-threatening condition, each individual has their own comfort level when it comes to how close they want others to be. I so totally agree that the most important thing is to honor their wishes, yet remain non-judgmental and supportive.

I also love your Mom's words of wisdom and can see that much, though certainly not all, of your inner strength, character and compassion are rooted in the way she brought you up.

She taught you the basics but each day you expand on them in some small, yet significant way, growing evermore compassionate, forgiving and wise.

It is a blessing that you share what you learn with us in writings such as these.

Am voting this up except for funny, and sharing.

Sending a Hub Bouquet of Hugs and Love on This Beautiful Spring Day,

Gail

Pick the hill you die on.....oh, Maria, I love that phrase. How very true. Great perspectives here, and the words are truths that can stand the test of time.

love,

bill

Maria, you have presented 'what matters' beautifully. Miss Sammie was certainly a wise woman. In fact, my own mother often says the same things you remember from your mom.

I think you said it all in the line, "...what matters is respecting the wishes of your loved one."

Nice job my friend. The fact that you wrote this during a heartbreaking time of your life shows just how unselfish you are.

Your life is full of love, hope and reflection; your guardians where both positive and supportive. Your path to each hurdle was lovingly cleared allowing you to develop a powerful stride. With your keen awareness you have developed a philosophy enriched with kindness and wisdom. Sounds to me that you have discovered what matters.

Very interesting notes. What makes a person happy.For me it is knowledge, books, love and of course money:).

It does matter on which side or hill you die on and what for.

I think it is not your fault that your friend died.Sometimes when we are bombarded from all sides with a barrage of tasks ,we forgot unconsciously those who are around us and focus on our goals .so when we reach our goals or what we wanted to accomplish,we look around we find that we missed many things while we are busy.It is not kind of selfishness or indifference,just life.

Your mom is too wise.She reminds me of my Grand-mom. voted up.Thanks for sharing with us your inner thoughts.

James ,

Dear Mar, This is one of your best Hubs to date! So many life lessons -- easier said than done, unfortunately. A lot of what we learn (and live) is in hindsight. How wonderful if we could do our best with the present moment! Love, Car

Marcoujor, my dearest sista, you have said so much in this hub of yours - to ponder for a lifetime. Death is indeed part of life, if only all deaths could be 'natural'. In a way it is easier to come to terms with Death when it is by natural causes. But then, what exactly is 'natural'?

I agree wholeheartedly with you and Miss Sammy: "Sleep on it... If it still really matters in the morning 'that's another story'."

This is a beautiful, touching hub filled with deep thoughts and advice to be taken to heart.

Lots of hugs to you :)