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What Matters: Sleep On It

Updated on August 17, 2015

What Matters

I posed the question: What Matters...?... based on the quote by Jonathan Kozol: "Pick battles bigenough to matter and small enough to win."

I dedicate my writing on this subject to my sister-in-law. Dawn will forever be an inspirational reminder of living every day to the fullest, while pursuing what matters to you. I also thank Faith Reaper for remembering my sweetest friend.

What Matters...
What Matters... | Source

"It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning, after the committee of sleep has worked on it." (John Steinbeck)

Sleep On It...

I don't know about you, but each day is a complete and different surprise for me, at least in some small way. Waking up with the best of intentions, any number of both positive and negative factors can influence the outcome of that very same day.

This morning at my desk, I am remarkably calm and happy. The sun is shining and the birds are singing. What a gorgeous Spring day!

Just ten hours ago, I was driving white - knuckled down the Philadelphia Expressway after a class I had taught, wondering if the speed limit had been raised to 80mph, in the slow lane, without my knowledge...?

Mom was wise in so many ways. There are many phrases and sayings in my toolbox of life skills that are straight out of her mouth. The following are a few of the many expressions I learned from Miss Sammie:

* Sleeping on it... If it still really matters in the morning 'that's another story'.

* Putting some things 'on the back burner'. While neither of us were ever great cooks, family, education, work and responsibilities mattered first and foremost.

* Remembering 'not to bite off more than I can chew'... Oh Momma, I do struggle with this every day. I may just get there one day!

* Not 'burning the candle at both ends'... For some strange reason, the older I get, the easier this gets! These days I just burn the scented votives.

To me, everyone has priorities. In my professional experience as a nurse, I have seen a wide range of judgment, wisdom and insight where these priorities are concerned.

I may not assume that what matters to me, actually matters to someone else. Only lately, am I getting better at asserting that what matters to someone else, does not have to become my pressing cause or priority. Ahhh, the back burner again... now we're cooking, Miss Sammie!

"It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning, after the committee of sleep has worked on it."

— John Steinbeck

Let It Go...

There have been two major situations in my life where forgiveness was in order.

One situation was very personal. Two members of my family, who love me, each thought they had my best interest in mind. In a sense, I was forced to choose one over the other.

Although the decision was a no - brainer, it felt wrong to me. I could also see the heartbreak my Mom experienced and that was unacceptable.

Through various means, stubborn beliefs melted and relations were reestablished. I totally agree that life is way too short to nurse animosity.

While the second situation was professional, it effected me quite personally. Because of the erratic actions of a drug - impaired individual, I helplessly watched a beloved friend die, as I fought for my own life.

Through years of deep soul searching and honest acknowledgement of my feelings, I know now that self - forgiveness is always within our power.

Whether an action is deliberate or accidental, I do not wish to be burdened with the job of registering wrongs. I believe what matters is moving on from the past and making things as right as you can. I am grateful that I do not have to be the judge in any situation, unless it has to do with me or my personal actions.

I worked with a manager who taught me that ... communication, at best, is difficult.

There can be misunderstandings with the best of intentions. Therefore, in daily interactions with those I care about, work with or even casually encounter, a prompt, honest and direct approach works best for me.

"Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs."

— Charlotte Bronte

Johnny Cash: The Gambler

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."

— Martin Luther King, Jr

When Tomorrow Comes ...

None of us knows what tomorrow will bring.

Although I try to be organized to a fault, even I realize I cannot plan the timing or nature of my death.

So much of life is a crap shoot. Despite having a deep faith and base of spitituality, I recognize that very little of life is truly within our control.

So why would death be any different...? Death is a part of life.

None of us tend to imagine in our childhood years: "One day (maybe now), I will have cancer, heart disease or be a fatality in a criminal act.

Mom had a way of being both cut and dry and comfortingly tender about life and death issues.

Some of her expressions that I think of to this day are:

** 'When it's your time to go ... it's your time to go'. This was sometimes even accompanied by a: 'You can't fight City Hall'.

** 'Keep your house ready. Always be prepared...' Through this attitude and mindset, I learned how to prioritize what truly matters. For me, when someone or something is truly special to me, nurturing that relationship or issue is of utmost priority.

In our family, this maternal attitude translated to stepping up when family and friends need us.

An individual approach is needed for everyone. Some members in our family welcome closeness in illness, deriving support from frequent visits. Still others prefer privacy, especially during times of serious illness.

I have learned that what matters is respecting the wishes of your loved one.

I would personally prefer to say my good - byes on my terms. When you treat every conversation as though it may be your last, it is so much easier to 'keep your house in order' and settle petty misunderstandings promptly with those you love.

And when things are out of your control, take as much control as you can ... even if it is by planting / sending a tree, bush or flower in honor of someone you love.

"Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win."

— Jonathan Kozol

Pick the Hill You Die On ....

In the tapestry of my professional nursing career, I was blessed to have worked with a compassionate, rational and wise Labor Relations Coordinator for about four years.

In my role as a Nursing Administrator, we sat together at many a Union negotiation table, for a myriad of issues.

Ralph had a way of making these potentially volatile meetings quite tolerable. In fact, with our combined personalities, we were able to cut much tension with a relaxed, yet respectful atmosphere.

What made Ralph so wise was the application of his life philosophy throughout his work ethic. I continue to apply two of his kernals of wisdom throughout most every decision / action in my life:

** 'Be hard on the issue and not the person.' I discover time after time, that sticking to the facts and keeping objective... not at all personal... is most effective in resolving issues, from major to minor. What matters is the resolution and return to harmony.

** 'Pick the hill you die on'. This one made absolutely no sense to me, as I had no military point of reference. Ralph certainly did, with having served our country in Vietnam. He taught me to consider if proving a point / taking a stand was truly worth any casualities from my action.

If any person helped me decide what truly matters, besides my Momma, I would give this distinction to Ralph.

© Maria Jordan ( revised August, 2015)


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    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Thanks for returning to this 'oldie but goodie', dear Shyron.

      I am sure our two lovely ladies have been introduced in heaven and are indeed the best of friends.

      Sending you hugs and wishes for a great weekend. Hugs, Maria

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      3 years ago from Texas

      Maria, your momma and my mammaw would have been best friends.

      "Always make sure your words are soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them"

      I like Kenny Rogers "the Gambler"

      Blessings my dear friend.

    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Love to see you anytime, dear Shyron. Thanks for the smiles as I remember my sweet and wise momma and read your kind words.

      Have a peaceful night. Love and hugs, Maria

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      5 years ago from Texas

      Dear Maria, your mom was a wise woman, and you seem to be blessed with the same qualities. I am blessed to call you friend.

      Thumb-up UABI and shared.

      I don't know how I missed this one but I did.

      Blessings and Hugs dear friend

    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      6 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Jo, Your visit is so very much appreciated. You are on my mind more than you may know. Hope you are being slow, patient and gentle with yourself.

      Vicki, I feel as though I have always known you... and I treasure our friendship as well. Thanks for stopping back and leaving a smile.

      Hugs to you both, Maria

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Dear Marcoujor,

      10 months ago! How could it be? I re read this dear Sista, and guess what? It's still as lovely as I remember! We've gone through many things together since then, and I continue to appreciate your sweetness and kindness every day.

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image


      6 years ago

      This whole article was full of wisdom and beautifully written. It's ironic some of what your precious mom instilled in you, with the various sayings. Our mom did the same for us. Another one she would tell us often is "In the best of us, there is a little bad. " In the worst of us, there is a little good". " Make sure we take self responsibility for always setting the examples of bringing out the "good " in us.

      Thank you for your talent, your amazing beauty inside. Shared, up!


    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Glad you feel the same and thank you for sharing, Michelle.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      7 years ago from Singapore

      Oh, sleeping on it is important as it gives you a clearer perspective! Thanks for sharing, Maria!

    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Thank you, drbj, I do consider myself blessed to have had such wise teachers throughout life.

      I love when you visit and plan to SYS. Have a peaceful night.

      Hugs, Maria

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      7 years ago from south Florida

      How fortunate, Maria, that you have had such a wise loving Momma and an intelligent Ralph in your life to help you see what matters most. Some folks never learn that lesson that life is too short and valuable to spend time trying to revisit the past. Thanks for reminding the rest of us.

    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Thank you, DREAM ON...after visiting your work, I see we both put much value in our sleep time... such a benefit it is to gain a fresh perspective on an issue in the light of day.

      I appreciate you stopping by and meeting you as well.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      I can't think of a better way to start my day.So wonderful and refreshing.

    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Dear Victoria,

      Thank you for such a beautiful and kind remark. I truly appreciate your visits.

      Have a happy weekend. Hugs, Maria

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 

      7 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Maria, you always say the most beautiful things. Great insights, deep thoughts, and a sweet tribute to your mother. You also remind me that I need to take after you and be more organized. I need to get my house in order, because we never know when it will all be over and someone will be left with the mess. LOL. Wonderful hub, Maria!

    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Hi Y'all,

      Suzette, I love the insights in your comment. Thank you for stopping by.

      Paula, You are so comforting and beautiful in your remarks. I know my Mom would have been nuts about you, as am I...!

      Vicki, You are the sweetest...thank you, my Sista.

      Mickey, You make me really do. Let me 'sleep on it', as this is a PG-rated hub!

      Have a peaceful night and hugs to all, Maria

    • MickeySr profile image


      7 years ago from Hershey, Pa.

      . . . ohh, c'mon - you guys are embarrassing me. I suppose I can see "smart" and maybe even "sweet", but I don't really think I'm THAT "pretty".

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      fpherj48, she is a beauty, in every sense of the word, and I am so happy to call her my dear friend and Sista! Daily thanks to you, Maria!

    • fpherj48 profile image


      7 years ago from Carson City

      Maria- not-only-smart-and-sweet-but-pretty-too-Jordan.....So good to see you and read more inspiring words of wisdom from one of my favorite people. Welcome back to the everyday life, ongoing seminar. I thought about you and sent wishes to you, from my heart, during your recent, sad loss.....Geoff, as well, of course.....simply put, I understand.

      You never fail to educate me and lift my spirits, by sharing your stunning talents with your readers. Your mother's words of wisdom, which you cherish and rely upon, come from the very core of a loving, protective and generous woman. SHE is so very proud of you, Maria.


    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 

      7 years ago from Taos, NM

      Beautiful article, Maria. I have learned some of the same or similar lessons as you have throughout life. They have not all been easy to learn and some were learned by trial and error. But, the biggest lesson is so much is out of our control. We can only control our reactions and hopefully they are pro-active. As you say, life is a crap shoot. It is a gamble much of the time. Luck is also a part of life. Some have it and some rarely do. Thank you for an enlightening and thought provoking article. Well written and well said.

    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Love you and thank you, sweet Nellieanna.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      7 years ago from TEXAS

      (wink) :-) Look who's the gracious one!! You!

    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Good Morning, Y'all,

      Nellieanna, You are so gracious. Sometimes my soul is taken over by the soles of my feet, with my bestest of intentions (LOL).

      Rasma, Your remarks are insightful and beautiful. Thanks for stopping by.

      Thanks for your kindness, Alicia. You are a thoughtful and caring lady.

      Nell, I love the sounds of your sweet Mum. I know she raised a beautiful daughter in you.

      Peg, As our Queen song goes..." I will not let you go....." because you are my dear Sista! Your comment makes me smile in gratitude for having you in my life.

      Mary, Your supportive friendship these last few weeks has been a blessing and I thank you. I had a feeling you would love Vicki, as we all do. Let's connect about June, ...that would be " Beautiful"!

      Happy and peaceful Sunday to all and many thanks. Hugs, Maria

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 

      7 years ago from New York

      Maria, where to covered so much and show yourself as a beacon to guide everyone. You know I admire Dawn and her strength and purpose...she is being taken care of now. I have a feeling your Mom and my Mom are conspiring in heaven as they have so much in common. Lastly this entire hub is a life lesson to and family are what matter, don't sweat the small stuff! God bless.

      Voted up, useful, awesome and interesting. I do have to say Vicki is a great addition to Perspectives and the hub community!

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 

      7 years ago from Northeast of Dallas, Texas

      Maria, you are truly a champion of perspectives, bringing to light so many of the important things to remember as we travel through this life. These are the things that matter in the big picture. I love what you've said about how positive and negative influences can affect our day with a number of different outcomes. Your life experiences have played such an important role in how you see things. I find it fascinating the way people can go through similar situations and yet draw such different conclusions from them. What a powerful thought, that "forgiveness is always within our power", truly an amazing and liberating observation that allows us to take control of our own destiny. Beautifully written from the heart, what a wonderful message you've shared here. Much love. Peg

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      7 years ago from England

      So many sayings that were similar to what my mother said too. sometimes we do get stuck in the middle, so to speak, and over the years I have had to step back. I remember having a friend who always turned up even late at night, I always let her in, but then a friend said, why? took me back a bit, then I realised that I had been so weak, I should have stopped her, lifes a funny thing. Your mother sounds like she was a wonderful woman, bit like my mum too, wonderful hub, and voted up and shared, nell

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      7 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I am very sorry for your loss, Maria. Thank you for sharing Miss Sammie's witty sayings. She was a very wise person and knew a lot about what matters!

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      7 years ago from Daytona Beach, Florida

      Voted up and awesome. I agree there are times when we need to back off and take another look at what is going on around us. Sometimes it's just not worth it to get ourselves all riled up. Life is short as it is and we must live it to the fullest and find some enjoyment each day. Your mom was a very wise woman. Hugs and passing this on. Have a great weekend.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      7 years ago from TEXAS

      Dear Maria - thank you. You couldn't step on anyone's toes if you had shoes made for the purpose! :-) Love you!

    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Vicki, When you are my Sista, you may freely hog my space...and you are very much my Sista! Eddy and Leslie have awesome taste...!!

      Eddy, Your comment is so sweet, like you. I loved the tribute Debbie wrote for us.

      Tom, You are the most faithful friend. I have to check if I have missed any good work out of your corner lately.

      Leslie, You remarks are as beautiful as you. I am proud to call you my dear friend.

      Thanks to y'all for stopping by and have a peaceful night. Hugs, Maria

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Eddy and Leslie - I am speechless, many thanks for the love and kindness you show me . . . Sorry, Maria, my dear, don't mean to hog your space . . They made me do it!!

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 

      7 years ago

      First of all - i want to say that your strength in the face of tragedy is the epitome of grace under fire! You have my deepest respect and am proud to call you friend! You truly do respect the wishes of others, are there for them when they need you, and - your strength is admirable!

      your mama sounds like my gramma - 'do you have clean underwear on'?

      one never knows! lol...

      Your perspective on life and what matters will take you THRU life's chaos with panache!

      voting sharing

      have a great weekend, Maria!

      ps - i ADORE VICKI - she's a great addition to ANY group!

    • kashmir56 profile image

      Thomas Silvia 

      7 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi my friend, awesome perspectives within this well written article, i enjoyed reading the wisdom of your mom and see much of it within you and your writing . Well done !

    • Eiddwen profile image


      7 years ago from Wales

      Oh Mar this is truy beautiful and it illuminates your strength and great heart.

      I haven't been following VickiW for long but am already a great fan of hers.

      I vote up,across and share all around. Here's wishing you a wonderful day ahead.


    • marcoujor profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Jordan 

      7 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Good Evening, Y'all,

      I want to thank everyone who has been supportive to me over these last weeks about Dawn, my beautiful sister in law. She is no longer suffering and we will always cherish beautiful memories of her.

      Debbie, Your comment is as beautiful as you. Thank you for the link to your latest...I peeped and love your taste in friends, as Faith Reaper is a ' true blue'... I look forward to reading your special tribute to her.

      Martie, Your feedback means the world, as does your friendship.

      Car51, I have to say your remarks choked me up in the best of ways. Thank you for your supportive loyalty.

      James, Your feedback is especially sensitive and compassionate. Thank you for your kindness.

      Mike, Your summarizations make me swell with pride. You are a sweetheart.

      Sha, While I miss your Perspective this month, I know you have a keen awareness of what truly matters. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and your empathic kindness.

      Bill, Glad to see you as always. Your comments are appreciated.

      Gail, The care you put into crafting your comments is representative of what a good woman and beautiful friend you are. I am so grateful for you.

      Docmo, I am anxious to visit your Perspective soon and I thank you for these sincerely sensitive remarks.

      Faith, Oh you are my sweetest friend...knowing just what I needed after yesterday. You are intuitive and one of the kindest souls in my world.

      Ruby, I have felt your presence and support over these days. You are a nurse across the miles, whether you realize it or not. And you are loved.

      Joe, I feel truly honored that reading my work feels like you are indulging yourself. It makes me feel decadent in a literar way...LOL!

      Vicki, You are the wise one...joining our Perspectives group so seamlessly and adding your warm, beautiful and funny presence. I am so anxious to read your hub and will head there soon.

      Nellieanna, Without stepping on Sista's toes, you are such a maternal figure to me. You cannot possibly know how much you remind me of my Momma. Your words here and your writing brings me immeasurable peace and joy.

      Tim, Much of life to me is discovering more about ourselves as we journey through life. Thanks for your thoughts and stopping by.

      Mary, Your remarks are insightful and wise. I always love when you visit.

      Mickey, Just like a woman to deal with common issues and daily routines...while the man rips them away...hmmmmm? I actually love your comment...thanks, " beautiful"!!

      Faith, You have amazing taste in friends...hey wait, now I feel like I am bragging but this time I meant Vicki...I am so happy she has joined our group too!

      Vicki, I am glad Faith inspired you because you do need to write lots more...Glad you two are friends...!

      Have a peaceful night to all. Hugs, Maria

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Hi, Faith, reading through Maria's comments, and came to yours. Many thanks for your kind words. That inspires me to do more! Incidentally, I love your work too! Hugs, Vicki

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      7 years ago from southern USA

      Oh, forgot to mention . . . I really love Vickiw! She is an amazing and interesting writer, and I am glad she is part of the team here.

      Hugs, Faith Reaper

    • MickeySr profile image


      7 years ago from Hershey, Pa.

      Maria ~

      This is so cool to me - that after writing my own hub on 'What Matters' striving to rip away all daily routines and the common issues of life that confront each of us, seeking the barest bones of what life presents to us to uncover 'what matters', I come here and find you dealing exactly with those daily routines and the common issues of life that confront each of us . . . and that is, in it's own way, what really matters. What I dealt with matters inside, in the core of who you are as you go about life - what you deal with here is what actually, really matters as you are actually, really dealing with things. This is the point of our 'Perspectives:' series - thank you.

      "This morning at my desk, I am remarkably calm and happy"

    • carter06 profile image


      7 years ago from Cronulla NSW

      Hello lovely..what deep & meaningful thoughts you have for us today!!

      What matters? I guess to me it's the love of God family & friends for sure! Where would we be without that?? Your mamma was sweet & oh so wise but hey your colleague Ralph is sure up there in the wisdom stakes..what insightful wise words he had for you ' be hard on the issue but not the person' as a manager if u get that right in life u r doing well!!

      Loved this hub Mar, thought provoking , insightful & highlights the quality person you are.. Have a fantastically wonderful day!! Cheers

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 

      7 years ago from Escondido, CA

      Hello Maria. More reader than commenter I seek change one step at a time. That said, I appreciate this article with immensity and will be seeking those colleagues. A big congrats to and for VikiW. I look forward to more.

      Insight is discovered, wisdom offered as uncovered, and the practical of experience shares much. I ponder a nap, said both of jest and the when of the get-go of earlier. Thank you for that reminder, of which another of care, a friend of yours, seems to hint all the time.

      Humbly I share I am learning with understanding of who I am is not who I thought. Odd or without oddity how the environment affects perceptions like you shared with the workplace and home. Perspectives may be lost as overshadowed and then may change as high noon passes and shadows are opposite yet equal, except as the moon cast always from once as whence.

      Thank you again. I will be sharing with many close and hopefully more abroad. With respect I bow as Sir Sremmus of Leke, friend of Lennas, Warrior Princess and her wise and mature Viking Friend Xam . . .


    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      7 years ago from TEXAS

      Dearest Maria. Once again, I relate to your Momma, and how much she reminds me of my parents and their tenets for living. "Sleeping on it" was my Dad's habit. He would always awaken with more clarity and the best answer or resolution to whatever it was.

      Putting things on a back burner is another way of prioritizing. Some matters MATTER more than others, which can be slipped to the back for later consideration. Generally, for me, what matters most is people, whom I tend to keep on front burners, even if it means letting other important issues wait a bit. But then, how one relates to people must not be to smother or rule them, but to encourage and applaud them.

      Maria, you seem always open to people and ready to offer what you can. That is an important part of this philosophy and perspective you've stated here: knowing what you actually CAN do or give to people is as important as giving it to them. Respecting THEIR preferences in what is offered and how it's offered is as much a gift as anything else one can offer. My dad's admonition was to know my limitations. Of course, I resisted admitting having them, but the fact is, one does have them, especially when it comes to helping others. Giving them their own power and respecting it is vital, in my opinion. No one knows their facts and feelings like they do. One must stand aside and allow them to express and follow through on them, and, as I say, encourage & applaud them when they do, acknowledging that THEY know when they're doing so better than I do.

      You exemplify the best in all categories, dear Maria. Thank you for sharing these marvelous thoughts on the subject of WHAT MATTERS! You're qualified to speak on it!! Hugs and love.

      Voting up and across!

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools Hogg 

      7 years ago from North-East UK

      Maria, this article is very interesting. I found your point about what YOU need from life very enlightening; I used to spend far too long people pleasing and that has now changed - I said to my sister yesterday (after she got upset about something involving a friend) 'You worry too much about other people. People will always do what they want anyway! Worry about yourself for a change.' We need to be there for one another and also be happy in our own skin. I could write you a long(er) comment about just how great I thought this article was; it really touched me. I am a pragmatist - life is good (sometimes), life is bad (sometimes), I am me always and what I do has to matter to me and hopefully, it will matter without hurting or upsetting others (most of the time....)

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      My dear Maria, I have felt so much for you with the pain of life in the last little while. You are indeed a very wise and lovely woman, who exemplifies love, forgiveness and kindness. Add to that a little spice, and humour, and it is no wonder we listen to what you say, and feel our hearts fill with love when we think about you. This is a very pragmatic and beautiful piece of writing.

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 

      7 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      Hi, Maria!

      Given your sweet disposition, your inner and outer beauty, your compassion, and the pragmatic thread running through your compelling writing, it's no wonder that you pay such loving tribute to your mother and her time-proven wisdom. This was a wonderful read, my friend, and I am blessed to have indulged in it. Aloha and warm thoughts,


    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      7 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I could read your perspectives concerning life and death, plus, everything in between daily and still want more. You are a wonderful friend who has always been available, no matter what the occasion. You were taught well by Miss Sammie." Self forgiveness is always within our power" is one of the most important lessons i can take away from your beautiful hub, if we are unable to forgive ourselves, how can we ever forgive others? You were in my thoughts amd prayers daily this week, losing a family member is so very difficult. Thank you for being you. I love and deeply respect you..Hugs My Friend..

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      7 years ago from southern USA

      Oh, Maria, my sweetest friend, your precious Momma and Dawn are looking down from Heaven above and smiling at your wisdom on all of life's issues! This beautiful write is exactly you . . . amazing! Your Momma taught you well about this life we must live no doubt!

      I always receive a blessing when I read your work! Your Momma used the same sayings as my Momma did . . . I am not kidding!!!

      I love your perspective on "what matters" and I love you too, Faith Reaper

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 

      7 years ago from UK

      Maria, with every perspective you give us a peek into that wonderful bundle of energy, enthusiasm, wisdom and wonderment that is you. The collective experiences that mould and create us only do so if we are a willing learner, a curious passenger. You show with every remarkable piece of insight as to what matters... this is achingly beautiful. thank you. Hugs.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 

      7 years ago from South Carolina

      My Dear Maria,

      This hub was such a beautiful tribute to your beloved Dawn and I thank you for sharing it.

      I am continually amazed at how you are able to so deftly weave personal experience and teachings into a comprehensive article that imparts life lessons, as well as lessons in finding what truly matters to each reader.

      As you so gently pointed out, when it comes to being terminally ill or facing a life-threatening condition, each individual has their own comfort level when it comes to how close they want others to be. I so totally agree that the most important thing is to honor their wishes, yet remain non-judgmental and supportive.

      I also love your Mom's words of wisdom and can see that much, though certainly not all, of your inner strength, character and compassion are rooted in the way she brought you up.

      She taught you the basics but each day you expand on them in some small, yet significant way, growing evermore compassionate, forgiving and wise.

      It is a blessing that you share what you learn with us in writings such as these.

      Am voting this up except for funny, and sharing.

      Sending a Hub Bouquet of Hugs and Love on This Beautiful Spring Day,


    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      7 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pick the hill you die on.....oh, Maria, I love that phrase. How very true. Great perspectives here, and the words are truths that can stand the test of time.



    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      7 years ago from Central Florida

      Maria, you have presented 'what matters' beautifully. Miss Sammie was certainly a wise woman. In fact, my own mother often says the same things you remember from your mom.

      I think you said it all in the line, "...what matters is respecting the wishes of your loved one."

      Nice job my friend. The fact that you wrote this during a heartbreaking time of your life shows just how unselfish you are.

    • mckbirdbks profile image


      7 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Your life is full of love, hope and reflection; your guardians where both positive and supportive. Your path to each hurdle was lovingly cleared allowing you to develop a powerful stride. With your keen awareness you have developed a philosophy enriched with kindness and wisdom. Sounds to me that you have discovered what matters.

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 

      7 years ago from Morocco

      Very interesting notes. What makes a person happy.For me it is knowledge, books, love and of course money:).

      It does matter on which side or hill you die on and what for.

      I think it is not your fault that your friend died.Sometimes when we are bombarded from all sides with a barrage of tasks ,we forgot unconsciously those who are around us and focus on our goals .so when we reach our goals or what we wanted to accomplish,we look around we find that we missed many things while we are busy.It is not kind of selfishness or indifference,just life.

      Your mom is too wise.She reminds me of my Grand-mom. voted up.Thanks for sharing with us your inner thoughts.

      James ,

    • Car51 profile image


      7 years ago

      Dear Mar, This is one of your best Hubs to date! So many life lessons -- easier said than done, unfortunately. A lot of what we learn (and live) is in hindsight. How wonderful if we could do our best with the present moment! Love, Car

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 

      7 years ago from South Africa

      Marcoujor, my dearest sista, you have said so much in this hub of yours - to ponder for a lifetime. Death is indeed part of life, if only all deaths could be 'natural'. In a way it is easier to come to terms with Death when it is by natural causes. But then, what exactly is 'natural'?

      I agree wholeheartedly with you and Miss Sammy: "Sleep on it... If it still really matters in the morning 'that's another story'."

      This is a beautiful, touching hub filled with deep thoughts and advice to be taken to heart.

      Lots of hugs to you :)

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 

      7 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      My Dear Maria... you are so much loved.. You have the kind of love in your heart .. you and Faith that is so glorious.. How can i say how much i love you..

      You ask the question?

      What matters most?

      To me God Our glorious God

      Our Families

      Our Country

      Life with out Jesus to ME is nothing.. Is cold.. Life with out my family would be worthless

      Our country is a great place to live but it needs our prayers.

      We need to call on our Lord to help with all the destruction ..

      But even among the destruction I can see beauty, love and sacrifice.

      God bless you and your wonderful hubs and your wonderful love of your fellow human beings

      I know you have had loss recently and my heart goes out to you.. and your family..



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