- Mental Health
What happened to my memory?
My mind is so full all of the time
It's amazing. I can tell someone the children's schedule very easily and trust me, their schedule is anything but easy. With three children attending three different schools at three different stages of development, I find myself running ragged at times. They always get where they are supposed to be, and although I write it all down in the calendar, I rarely have to turn to the calendar when its an activity for the children.
For example: Monday after school, I race off to the Brownie meeting and I am sure to get back in time to get to soccer practice. Tuesdays, after the school pickups, its immediately to religious instruction classes and the my oldest has Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy. Of course during baseball season, there is the crossover of soccer practice and a baseball game after religion class. DInner? That's eaten in the car along with the homework that is hastily down. ( I am incredibly lucky that my children are good students, otherwise they would not be so involved in all they do.) Wednesdays this past year were quiet challenging. Well my middle child had soccer, basketball and scouts all on the same day. We managed to get him to all three, although he had to change and eat in the car. He did his homework immediately after school, sometimes having to finish after scouts. Meanwhile, my oldest had therapy and my little one signed up for an art class. Thursdays got quieter when my daughter's soccer coach moved her practices to Friday, so it was only therapy for the older boy and every so often a soccer practice for the middle child. Friday, fortunately was simple with just one soccer practice. I was quite grateful.
Weekends were not much easier with basketball, baseball and soccer games for the two younger children and their dad who somehow went from spectactor to coach to one of the directors of the soccer program. So I wonder where my memory has gone.
But truth be told, I am incredibly worried. I put items down and I cannot remember where I put them. I retrace my steps and I am at a loss for where they are. I have done the memory tests with myself and I remember many facts and I often can tell my family all sorts of useless information about the swallowtail butterfly and dinosaurs from my many lessons. However, I often do not remember what I served everyone for dinner last night. So yes, there is cause for concern.
I asked my doctor, who told me, that I was on overload. That I was a very busy mother with alot of stress and a disabled child,. He assured me that I was fine. He ran bloodwork and that all came back fine. So I am fine, the tests say so. Then why can't I remember where I put a bag that has essential items that cannot be replaced so easily? I have been looking for hours, I have torn my house apart, yet, I just can't seem to find it. This not remembering where I put something happens alot. I am thinking of keeping a notebook and writing down what I do with items, almost like an I am a storekeeper keeping track of my merchandise. Wonder if that will help?
What is most distressing is that most doctors will disregard complaints such as mine because it comes from a WOMAN. If woman has aches and pains, its because she has arthritis or its blamed on menopause of menstrual cramps. If a woman has back pains, shes told that she should not have carried that heavy laundry basket. Meanwhile, back pains in a woman can be the sign of a heart attack. Women are dismissed so much faster than a man. I will tell the doctor that I have some pains in my chest, he will give me a sedative, meanwhile, my husband gets put on a halter monitor. So I am on overload because I am a MOTHER. Hmmm, how should I take that? Is it an excuse, or is it more judgement, or is it true? Doesn't matter because I probably won't remember to go to the doctor the next time I have an appointment, if it isn't for the children, I rarely remember to go anywhere. What was I saying anyway? Perhaps if I got more sleep....I think I forgot how.