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What the heck is Bull Cat?

Updated on April 29, 2014

There ain't no picture that can show just I ugly I really am.

One time my wife said I was handsome. Well she was lying like a bad dog. If the is a bulldog uglier than me == take it out and shoot it.
One time my wife said I was handsome. Well she was lying like a bad dog. If the is a bulldog uglier than me == take it out and shoot it. | Source

I am a Bull Cat

Now I am as tough as a bull. And yet as tough as a cat. That would be a bull cat. Now I am not talking house kitties or neutered bulls here. I am not talking bulls in stock yards. I am talking about range animals because that is what I am. I am talking Mountain Lions and Long horn steers either of which would soon kill a city folk as look at them. But they would leave the meat behind as it is fleshy and fat and not with good nutrients.

But i am a certified organic bull cat. I have scratched the eyes out of owls and eagles. I have stuck my horns in three hundred pound animals. I can hurt others for a living. Shucks I can do it for fun. The best feeling is on my knuckles after busting your nose. I can wear you out letting you hit me and then clobber you. I got a two inch thick skull and no brain to injure. I do not wear out clothing I just have to throw them out because you had the gall to stain them with your blood.

Isn't this fun? I am so bad ass that they spanked my momma when I was born and sawed off my horns. I can look at a man and cause him harm i have evil in me. You have tear ducts in your eyes, I have blood projectiles like tough reptiles. I have been known to have taken a mans hand that he put out for a shake, and chewed the darn thing off.

I am so mean that I once chopped down a tree just to make it fall on my neighbor's house. Until I was four years old I only spoke four words -- NO no no and no.

One time I put some chewing tobacco in my mouth just so I could spit it in a biker's eyes.

I was sent to hell and they rejected my application on account that I would cause to many problems there.

I like alligators because they are fun for me to swing around by their tails. I like buffaloes because if you grab their horns just right and throw dirt in their mouth you can twist them down and bite their ear off.

Now Jim Croce wrote a song about bad bad Leroy brown. Well I am the man that took him down.

Johnny Cash who I did fight once with at least two beer bottles broken and used as knives wrote about a boy named Sue, Well Sue is dead cuz I killed him.

I am the meanest cowboy to ever whoop ten Injuns just for fun at one time. (get over the PC, they called me white trash gut eater, and Injuns means Native American Indian Aboriginal ) To me they were Apache and on th playground of my youth school, we would pace off 50 feet and then run into other as hard as we could === don't that sound fun? Get over it I am an American frontier Arizonan, My state is just barely older than me. Not one of them Apaches and Hopis do not call me friend. I earned just like the cougar did.

I was just a boy but I was six feet and a buddy got me into see Jim in about 1971. I loved him.

My momma was from the south side of Chicago

She is a saint --- I don't give a good God damn what the church says.

She taught me that I am the baddist man in town. She thought I was mentally defective. So she gave me a knife when I was five. And she told me to cut fruit with it and whittle away on sticks. That danged women just wanted to make me good with a knife. A nurse and a great peace loving lady that made sure I was baptized, Attended my Doctoral hoop di do. And then hired me as Chief of staff for a huge hospital as she was Chairwoman.

But that knife from a Korean War Purple and Silver Star winner. Well his name was Emmet and he lost two sons in Vietnam

Well we cannot bring back those sons. But Emmet the son of share croppers of Louisiana taught me to use that knife to graft fruit and cut vegetables.And yes to clean fish and dig for grubbs.

Emmet is gone but he is my god because he taught me not to use that knife to kill but to live.


I have failed OH LORD but I promise I am busting my butt trying.

If you think this song is funny. Well my daddy threw a fist at me when I was my forties ---- God I love that man, he died in his nineties and we were best frien

I had to remove most the song here because publishers declare it duplicate.

My daddy left home when I was three

And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."

I fought with my dad and my elder son. Things worked out OK.

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!

Here is a cool link to the lyrics

Soldiers and my heroes because they serve.

I used to sit in an office I decide where we should drop bombs to harm people --- I am so sorry.
I used to sit in an office I decide where we should drop bombs to harm people --- I am so sorry. | Source

As is my want let wrap this bad boy

I really want to do good. That is crazy coming from me.

I need your love because I am made to do harm. I am designed as warrior and not your friend.

But together and with your love we can change me.


I hope that others read this and know that even an asshole like me can be made new and therefore so can you.

Please love life like this boy

He onlyh smiles because he is loved
He onlyh smiles because he is loved | Source

Post Script

Oh boy I had fun writing this one. It was just a kick. Sometimes we need to lighten up and tell crazy stories like we did growing up and sitting around a campfire. I hope the grammar was just bad enough in the right places and just good enough in the wrong places.

The author really did grow up fighting all the time. But it was more for sport and competition and baby machismo. My nose really was broken a whole lot before I was twenty.

But in general I am a pussy cat and would rather take orders than give them and I have never really seriously injured another. Well maybe playing football or as a patrolman. But not just out of orneriness.

I sure hope you could put aside some notions and read this for the fun it was meant to be.



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    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      That is a fact jack!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Glad you got this hub back up and kicking Eric. You can't keep a good Bull Cat down.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I read to many tough guy books

      Thanks Bill

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bull cat? I think not, Eric. You don't have me fooled for a second. Pussy cat is more like it buddy. You have been declawed and you just need someone to scratch your belly.

      Have a great weekend my friend.