- Women's Health
What's Different About Your Second Pregnancy? Here Are 5 Things
If you're pregnant again for the second time like I am (now 28 weeks), you will probably find some differences between this pregnancy and your last. Although I still have a ways to go yet before I meet my little girl, I would like to share with you what I've noticed so far.
1. No One Cares
I remember hearing this from a friend but had no idea just how true it really is. When you're pregnant for the second time, people just don't seem as interested. With my first pregnancy, people asked me all the time how I was doing, if I knew the sex of the baby, if we had names picked out yet, etc. This time around, not as many people seem to notice.
Unfortunately, this includes co-workers but also family. I realize people get busy and the world doesn't revolve around the pregnant lady (me) but for example, I have an Aunt who has asked me maybe twice this entire pregnancy how things are going and hasn't once inquired about the sex.
It might matter what the spacing is between your pregnancies - mine are about two years apart - perhaps with a bit more spacing, people would have time to build up a little caring again. Ha!
2. You Don't Worry As Much
While I'm still a natural worrier, I'm finding myself not obsessing over every little twinge (or lack thereof) like I did last time. I'm now starting with Braxton Hicks contractions pretty much everyday and now that I know what they are and what they feel like, I won't be rushing off to my OB which is something I did before.
I also remember how towards the end, it becomes uncomfortable to walk because it feels like the baby might just fall out. I now know that it's just pressure from everything expanding and "running out of space."
Obviously, this is only my second pregnancy and I am far from an expert so if something really doesn't feel right, I will by all means go get checked out. Better safe than sorry.
3. You Have Zero Time For Rest
With my first pregnancy, I can remember coming home from work and parking myself on the couch for most of the evening. I had the luxury to do so and had no idea how much time for myself I still had. With the second one, if I want to rest for a bit, I need to bargain with my husband to watch our 2 year old for a while or else get my mom to babysit so I can take a nap.
On the other hand, while there is definitely not much time for rest, I find that since I'm so busy, I have less time than before to notice just how tired I am. I think I have also built up some kind of a tolerance for being tired all the time and have come to expect this as my new way of life (at least for quite a few more years).
4. You Don't Need To Buy As Much Stuff
If there's not too much time between your first and second pregnancy, many people still have most of the bigger baby items that they can reuse. Some things that I won't need to buy again are: crib, change table, high chair, exersaucer, jumper and toys.
Unfortunately, I will need to buy an entire new stroller/car seat system. Since my previous car seat expired, I have discovered that the Graco stroller we have is too old to accept any of the newer car seats. While it's going to be a large expense, it gives me an excuse to get a better stroller than the one I had before. I really like the ones that you can manouever with one hand only and think that extra manoueverability will come in handy with also chasing around a 2 year old. The Graco stroller you see listed above is one of the ones we're considering.
5. You Want To Avoid The Same "Mistakes"
I know that I will just end up making some new mistakes with my new baby but there are some things that I learned with my first that I will try my best to avoid.
For example, breast feeding did not work well with my first for reasons that I may write about another time. The amount of guilt and inadequecy as a human I felt over this was tremendous. This time around, I will try breastfeeding again but if it doesn't work out, I hope that I learned my lesson the first time to not be so hard on myself.
Another thing I hopefully "learned" last time was to take it easy on myself with weight loss expectations. I was hard at it with a weight loss program only 3 months after having my c section which, looking back on it, was a bit too aggressive for me (I realize that for some moms this timing might have been fine). I ended up giving up and then not trying to lose weight again until almost a year later. This time, I will try to give myself more time and have more realistic expectations.