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When Was the Last Time You Wrestled an 800 lb. Gorilla?

Updated on January 23, 2019
Robert Coello profile image

Robert is a father, husband, chef, life coach recording artist, sculptor and would love to add "Author" to his list of dreams fulfilled.

“And in this corner, Southwest Wrestling Federations undisputed champion, weighing in at 210 lbs. Born and raised in Cajun Country, where he first began wrestling with alligators deep in the swamps of Louisiana, the one, the only Billy ‘Trosclair’ Hebert.”

A deafening roar emerges from the dilapidated arena. Which stands to reason since it’s been quite some time since their hometown hero went head to head throughout the current wrestling season.

But today's match is by no means an ordinary match. Turns out a few months back the Starfish Group, LLC had somehow, and only God knows why acquired an ape! Yes, a Gorillala! An eight hundred lb beast of a primate! I’ll spare you the details and keep to the script.

It was common knowledge in the Parish that Gary, the owner was a bit “throwd off”,as the locals would say. Cajun jargon perhaps? Anyhow, rumor had it that this ol cajunboy was bent on finding an opponent to take on his prized primate. As if there would be anyone in their right mind that would actually accept his challenge! But then again, the more I got to know some of this boudin eating, crawfish head sucking, frog hunting bunch, the more I came to reckon that most of them were never really in their right mind on any given day.

I guess I figured this out when I first met Aaron down at the ninety-nine cent store. He would make a statement and even with my limited grammar skills, it always sounded like a question? Let me give you an example.

“Hey Jeff, we just got us some nice shrimp dat came in from da boats, yeah?” This was common in most of his communication with me, occasionally followed by a loud “Ayeeeeee”, that would often catch me by surprise.

The sound of children screaming mixed with gasps and shrieks fill the atmosphere as this goliath of a gorilla is being escorted in chains and shackles through the old rusted doors of the makeshift sports arena.

Was this even legal? Shouldn’t there be paramedics at ringside with the ambulance engine still running on standby, to haul off the various limbs that will be ripped off of this mere mortal?

This is going to be a massacre! I’ll just close my eyes, so I don’t have to witness this blood bath about to take place.

“Ping”, goes the bell initiating the first (and probably the only) round, in my opinion. All I can think of is that meme that reads:

“Success is like wrestling an 800 lb Gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired, you quit when the Gorilla is tired”

The inevitable did occur, but not as you and I might have anticipated. As the Yeti looking beast charged Billy, a banana peel was cleverly thrown into the ring by an unsuspecting fan.

At the precise moment, the gorillas’ heel was suddenly introduced to the underside of the curved shaped fruit, hurling the anthropoid into the air. As fate would have it, it comes barreling down head first, snapping its neck, rendering it unconscious and ultimately resulting in its demise.

Billy has now been granted permission to quit since the Gorilla is “tired.”

I don’t know about you, but I can certainly relate to Billy. Not because I was raised in the swamps wrestling alligators, but by the number of times throughout out my life, I had to take a deep breath, frightened to death, step into the ring well aware that my limbs are about to be extracted one by one.

The mere fact that I can conjure up these images, is testimony that I made it? I made it... But how? I am not capable of taking down an 800lb Gorilla! Nor am I in the least, brave enough to even ponder the notion of wrestling an Ape!

All I know is that somehow each time that I’ve been faced with this quandary, something supernatural had to manifest deep, deep within my craw re-igniting a resolve to live yet another day.

Wrestling Gorillas in life is arduous, to say the least. Does it seem that as we climb the ladder of “success”, they appear at every rung? Every so often we sneak past a few rungs without incident. Although we can still hear the inevitable roar out in the distance. It’s just a matter of time before we have to suit up and enter the ring yet again to have our strength and endurance tested.

“dear what won’t kill you, I’m strong enough now”

I was recently inspired to write a little something about wrestling Gorillas as a result of a brief conversation with a dear friend. He mentioned to me that he was about to get slaughtered. Before I could ask why in our text commo, he said “I don’t know what happened. I had the Gorilla pinned down on the mat and I felt two taps on my back and all the sudden the Gorilla disappears and “Godzilla”, steps into the ring!

He had reached the top rung on his ladder and thought it was over. Yay, No more Gorillas! The showroom was now open to new customers to peruse, and everything had been carefully and meticulously mise en place’d. This is the day they had all been waiting for. After years of fending off massive primates, pay dirt was now at hand.

However, a new, even greater challenge suddenly emerged.

We may never be able to muster up the strength, be brave or mighty enough mighty to pin the gorilla to the mat, but we must never quit, never give up, no matter what.

I believe that as long as we are not willing to surrender, whether it is a banana peel or a Popeye forearm that appears out of nowhere that knocks out the Gorilla, we somehow win. There is a force that will always come to our rescue when we are willing to face our Gorillas and stand toe to toe.

My suggestion is that you pick up a few bananas and hand them out before you move the rope aside and slide into the ring. You never know what tools and resources God may want to utilize to see you move from glory to glory.

© 2019 Robert Coello


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