The Loss Of A Child - The Wound That Never Heals
Cancer Stole My Son In The Deep Of The Night
The loss of a child, regardless of the age, is a wound that never heals. Filled with shock, denial, anger,and total emptiness, the wound that penetrates deep into the heart continues to fester week after week, month after month and year after year.
There is no resolution, only the feeling of finality. Only one question permeates the entire being. Why, why, why? There is no reason - no answers to comfort the bleeding heart. No words to comfort the sting of flowing tears.
My oldest son lost his battle with cancer a few years ago leaving 4 small children alone and broken and me, his mother, with the worst pain of all. What you are about to read is a poem...a humble attempt to describe my feelings about my own loss and the pain of coping at the worst time of my life. I now understand the full meaning of the phrase "no parent should out-live their children."
It's been 6 years now since Todd took his last breath. I still can't bear to look at his photos. Even after all this time it just hurts too much. Does "time heal all wounds" apply to everyone? I have to say NO. Perhaps for some this is true. For me, my wounds are as deep now as that night I gazed at my son's lifeless body, for the final time still wearing his "Laker's" shirt.
Alone and Naked
One Lone Tree On The Edge Of A Cliff
The empty tree stands bare, stripped of all its leaves
Alone and naked
Just one lone tree on the edge of a cliff
Its roots deeply implanted within mother earth,
Tangled and exposed to the elements …hanging on
The Sun is Gone, Never to Return
Cold and empty
Where is the sun? It is gone never to return
The warmth and glow of another time
Gone forever
The Ocean Houses His Ashes
The ocean stretches its arms out wide
It houses the ashes of another time,
The heart cries out…the tree trembles its tears
Every branch , filled with pain ripping like splinters
A Massive Hole Filled With Sorrow
Without its leaves how will it breathe
The night brings sleep and a way to escape
Black and deep…a massive hole filled with sorrow
The wind declares its power, the tree breaks its limb
It can never be replaced.
Todd, Surfer and Guardian of The Ocean
Broken and battered the bark of the tree deceives itself
Imaginary leaves replace what was lost
What will become of the innocent statue that once would sing
Each note drifted away with what was once a beautiful melody.
A Beautiful Message to a Lost Love One
The Hole In The Heart
It is my hope that by sharing my own private feelings that somehow, someway, someone may find support during their grief and pain. Losing a child is beyond understanding, beyond all comprehension. How does one fill the hole that is left in the heart?
The pain that flows through life's blood is buried deep inside the empty, lonely cavern. When it finally surfaces, and it does from time to time, emotions range in a kaleidoscope of shapes and colors. Tears take on a life-of-its-own until finally the mind and body give in to exhaustion. Then, finally, sleep will come at long last.
Oh, to be able to reach out and touch the child just one more time. Just once more please.
© 2010 Audrey Hunt
Comments
Audrey, I can't imagine the pain and sadness you must have felt and still feel at losing a son. I don't know how I would cope if I lost one of my children. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem. Take care.
Many years ago, actually in 1981, I witnessed my parents deal with the loss of their oldest child. My parents were never the same. My family was never the same. There is NO pain as worse as losing a child. I witnessed this. I swear by this. I hope I NEVER have to go through this. Bless your heart! Hugs!!
Dear Audrey,
The anguish you feel is expressed beautifully in this meaningful poem. I'm so sorry for your loss. No one can ever feel exactly as you do and experience what you have gone through. Memories are unique and your child was your baby grown into a man. I can only sympathize and send warm thoughts and heartfelt condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss of one so dear and near to your heart.
I am sorry for your loss.I understand your pain.I ve been there too recently.My dad passed away ten days ago because of cancer too..It hurts but it s life.Patience,patience,patience.God have mercy on him and bless you all.
Hugs and love,
Isn't it strange here I am a writer without words? Your poem reaches in and grabs the soul. Audrey "the night brings sleep and a way to escape" but day follows night. I am sure the pain never goes away, you just learn how to live with it.
Celebrate his life with your grandchildren. God bless you all.
Voted all but funny.
This was hard to for me to read. I don't really even want to imagine the pain of lossing one of my children. But such beautiful poetry and your ability to share this very close poem with all us has me in awe. I am spreading much empathy your way, you may not feel it but it is there. Jamie
This tribute to your son is a testimony of what a wonderful mother you were to him. To have the strength to carry on takes a strong love for your son to endure the pain.
May Angels give you comfort each time you think of him.
Love,
Bobbi Purvis
Dearest Audrey, what a beautiful man he was - your son. You published this hub 2 years ago, but I know your pain is still the same; you have only learned how to live with it.
I can't even imagine losing one of my children.....
You are in my heart. Always.
Hello Audrey . You bare your beautiful soul with this poetry. Your heart sings out filling a space that seems empty. Those four grandchildren are your precious gift from your son. You are a very courageous woman, full of strength.
Dear Audrey, Maria drew my attention to this beautiful poem. It really does capture the pain and loneliness of your loss, and I must express my deepest condolences to you. You may know that I lead a bereavement group each week, and am always made aware of the terrible ache that comes with such a loss. The loss of a child is absolutely devastating. But your beautiful poem honours your lovely son in a heartfelt way that will be forever a legacy of love for him and his family.
Oh my dearest Audrey,
I was meant to find the beautiful and poignant words you have written about your son, who lives forever in your heart.
I am listening to Josh, crying and thinking of those I have lost...you are more of a support and comfort than you may ever know. " I know they're there" and thank you for reminding me.
I send you a hug and love, Maria
Beautiful words. I'm sorry for your loss. It never is easy.
Tears with your writing and with JG's song....very effective and if I may say, I believed some pain lasts a lifetime and that time may not heal all hurts but acceptance will set us free and peacefully.
Lovely thoughts although it is sad. I'm sorry about your loss Audrey.
Love and light to you. *hugs*
P.S. Up++, pinning and sharing.
So sorry for your painful loss, Audrey - we are not supposed to outlive our children. You are so tender and sweet - please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Audrey, I am so sorry. I still feel the emptiness without my mother, and that was a LONG time ago. You certainly captured this so well.
Awesome poem. Thanks.
Very fitting what Support Med. said 3 weeks ago so I'll say again because it will supply you with more inner peace!!
You asked the question in your poem, "What will become of the innocent statue that once would sing", well I think it shall sing again. You said, "Imaginary leaves replace what was lost." The imagination is a powerful instrument and with it, become realities. Beautifully written. Voted and rated.
Very beautiful, enjoyed very much.
How do you do that? I wish I had the words like that
Big hugs from Spain
The loss is more present and real by being contained, or restricted in the bleak lines, with the occasional overflow or breakdown like a tear. Really well expressed and written. Thanks.
Very nice! Great flow! Real life and feelings expressed very well! And- I love the trees without leaves as the one you have hear! Well done! Thank you Dear vocalcoach!
Oh.. Beloved vocalcoach...your poem touches the deepest part of me and wishing I could hug you right now. Hugging you from afar.
Nice poem! Great Pictures, to go with this writing.
This is a very beautiful touching piece of poetry. :D One that had me dancing all over your tabs up there. The beauty on this piece shows that beauty within you! :D thank you for such a touching piece:D hugs :D
What a beautiful hub. I like the poem and the photos.
What a special experience this was for you. It's happened to me a couple of times, too. It's as though it's just meant to be and all WE have to do is be present and go with it. And how worthwhile it turns out to be.
I especially love your visual sensibility and your alliteration here, vocalcoach. It's sensitive and moving. Hard to believe you didn't slave over the choice of words. You are very talented. Thank you.
With that voice...that creative flow of great poetry, you my friend should be on stage! Lovely poem, or in my mind lyrics, and so relative to us ALL! Love it! Peace :)
Beautiful article sad and lonely. Thanks for sharing this interesting poem.
..well then - there's only one thing to do - keep writing and keep exploring - and remember one thing - if you write from the heart the mind will folllow ......
...a very impressionistic piece of cinematic writing - and I say 'cinematic' because your poetry sounds/reads like an evocative scene from a foreign language film ......very soulful with a lingering shot of melancholy beauty and haunting imagery!!!!
Such wonderful thoughts. Thank you for the pleasure to read.
What a beautiful hub. Words blend with images.
You are a really talented writer who breathes life into her words.
Thank you so much for sharing this touching poem.
take care and God Bless vocal coach.
Poignant, tender, sensitive, and the Phoenix rises from the ashes to sing again! We learn from our experiences. Great imagery... and word use.! The song is always within. We decide when and what to sing...
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