Why Am I So Angry All of the Time?
Do you find yourself losing your temper all of the time?
Are you constantly involved in arguments and fights?
Do you often feel angry and you just don't know the reason why?
Do you often wonder why you feel so angry all the time?
Do you often get into a rage, say things you don't mean, and regret it later?
Well, if you answered "yes" to any or all of these questions, you need to learn to manage your anger. Keep on reading!
Is It Wrong to Feel Angry?
The simple answer to this question is no. It is normal to feel angry in situations that threaten your life and well-being. In fact, when used wisely, anger can be the guiding force for bringing about long overdue changes in your life.
Just imagine a woman facing domestic abuse. She may have been suppressing her anger for a long time and accepting what was happening to her as part of her fate. However, when the same man physically abuses her children, her anger may just rise and she may take the bold step of walking out of the relationship.
Simply said, anger can actually force you to stand up against injustice as an individual or maybe even as a community. Keep in mind that you may feel angry when you feel threatened. Threatening situations provoke a "fight or flight" reaction, and you are feeling the "fight," attacking whatever is threatening you.
When Does Anger Become a Problem?
If you have occasional spurts of anger that don't cause much harm to your health, relationships, and life in general, you are probably fine. However, if you are asking yourself why you are angry all the time, then maybe you do have a problem.
Exploding into anger that is out of control—perhaps verging on hysterical—is probably one of the most easy-to-spot signs of an anger problem. But there are more well-hidden anger problems. For example, if you just spend some time right now focusing on how you are feeling, you may realize that there is constantly something just about ready to burst at the first trigger.
You may find yourself saying things such as, "I lost my temper because my friend didn't do things exactly as I asked him to," or, "He was five minutes late in calling me," or, "How dare he overtake me."
Of course, sometimes the situation may be such that losing those five minutes may have led to huge losses. However, if the situation is not that threatening and you still find yourself losing your temper at the slightest mishap, you are quite right in asking "Why am I so angry?" The anger was inside of you all the time. All it needed was just a trigger for you to lose control and fly into a rage. When you calm down, you realize that it wasn't such a big deal.
What Are the Causes of Anger?
Incontrollable and explosive anger can have devastating consequences for your health, relationships, and work life. You may end up hurting yourself or someone else. You may be involved in an accident that you end up regretting for the rest of your life. You may hurt the one person that really cares about you. Of course, losing your temper at work could even lead to eventually losing your job.
The first step in controlling your anger is to find out why are you angry all the time. Keep in mind that your reaction is not the only possible outcome. You may be choosing to get angry at your friend when he is late; another person in the same situation may react instead with concern about the friend's well-being.
Simply said, YOU are choosing anger in the situation. Why? Where is the anger coming from?
There is always something behind your anger. The question is what. Just focus on how you are feeling. Of course you are feeling angry. Is your anger masking another emotion?
Are You Scared?
Is it fear? Are you afraid of losing your job or anything that is important to you? Fear can be a reason that you feel angry all the time.
Do You Feel Powerless?
Are you frustrated? Do you feel powerless? Sometimes the feeling that there is something that is right in front of you but you can't do anything about can leave you feeling powerless and frustrated.
Have You Been Hurt?
Is there a traumatic event from the past that is making you feel angry? If you have been hurt, for example, by a previous significant other, you may feel angry about the fact that it happened to you. It is easy to generalize the anger from that pain and take it out on others.
Is Jealousy Killing You?
Are you jealous of someone else? Sometimes when someone else succeeds, it's easy to think, "What does he have that I don't have?" This can lead to feeling cheated and angry. Keep in mind that jealousy can be a good thing if you use it to improve your skills instead of letting anger paralyze you or hinder your judgment.
Are You Desperate?
Do you want someone's approval or love? You can't control someone else's emotions or how that person chooses to express those emotions. If you are doing everything you can to please someone, but that person shows no sign of approval, it can feel like failure. This can be extremely frustrating and induce anger.
Are You Dealing With More Than You Can Handle?
Do you have too much hanging over your head? Juggling too many responsibilities can leave you exhausted and stressed out. Being seated with more work than is actually possible can be even worse. Not having enough time to relax can lead to a build up of anger.
Are You Not Sure about What You Should Do?
Are you confused? Are you finding it difficult to make a decision? You may feel you lack of direction keenly, and not being sure about what you want to do and what you don't want to do can be the reason why you are angry all the time.
Are You Suffering from Depression?
Are you sad and depressed? Sometimes, the emotion of anger can mask clinical depression. People with bipolar disorder also often feel uncontrollable anger. If you think that this could be the reason, you may want to get professional help.
Perhaps it is difficult to still your mind enough to realize what is really causing your anger. Perhaps you have realized that it comes from stress, and you need a find to help you unwind. Either way, these relaxation techniques can help stop that runaway train of emotions:
- Try meditation or visualization—really, anything that allows you to just "be" for about 30 minutes without doing anything—on a daily basis. It calms you down, stops that endless mental chatter, and helps you become more focused on the present.
- If there is something specific that keeps bothering you, take a good look at it. Do you need to change the situation or the way you are looking at it?
- Write down what you feel. Sometimes, that helps in revealing things that you did not know about yourself.
These are just a few tips, and hopefully a lot more ideas about managing your anger and frustration will come into your mind.
When Will You Start Tackling Your Anger?
There can be endless number of reasons for your anger. Loneliness, grief, unfulfilled dreams and desires, illness, and so many other reasons could be why you have so much anger inside of you.
So, how can you deal with feeling angry all of the time? The answer depends on the reason. If you want to manage your anger, you will need to eliminate the cause. However, most people find it difficult to find the cause. The anger is but smoke; it's only when you isolate the cause that you can begin to fight the fire! So identify the cause, work on it, and your anger will be taken care of.
Think deeply about what causes you to feel angry all of the time, and that cause will be your starting point. The point is: when are you going to get started?