Why Is Wearing a Bikini the New Badge of Courage for Big Women?
Since when is it a travesty to feel uncomfortable in a bikini or other skin-baring attire? Are women supposed to be ornaments to please men?
If you don’t want to be seen in two-piece swimwear at a swimming pool or beach, then don’t let anyone take away your right to feel this way and guilt you into believing you’re not a confident woman just because you prefer a cover-up.
A confident woman doesn’t let some stranger on Instagram dictate what she should wear in public.
If you feel more at ease covering up your heavy thighs and puffy belly, then that is your God-given and Constitutional right. And Lord Almighty, how did it end up that how much belly and thigh a woman shows in public indicates her self-worth?
Feeling Fat and Desperate for Self-Confidence?
Many plus-size women feel short on confidence. But come on, do you REALLY think that displaying more skin in public is the answer?
Take inventory of what you lack the courage to do. Then decide which fears are actually important to overcome, such as working up the courage to clean up the next spider you see or standing up to the male teacher at school who’s been picking on your child. Never mind the bikini.
This “wear a bikini” fad likens to standing at the edge of a high dive and nervously peering down at the water while people are urging you to jump.
But here’s the thing: Taking that jump won’t make your wallet fatter, your boss nicer, your car last longer or your hair more manageable. If you take that dive…it’ll only prove that you’re a SOPO: Suggestible to Other People’s Opinions. This is the antithesis of confidence!
Stop playing mind games with yourself, turn around and climb back down that high-dive ladder. Then tell those people, “No. I don’t have to do this. Deal.”
Likewise, it’s time to kick that elephant out of the room that keeps hounding you to wear a bikini when you’d feel much more at ease in a one-piece and cover-up.
Don’t be a SOPO unless you truly, sincerely feel good and fuzzy-warm about another’s idea – as in, “Heyyy, that’s a really great suggestion,” rather than, “Umm…I dunno…my heart races at just the thought.”
How to Increase Your Self-Confidence if You're Plus-Size
Need some self-validation? Train your body to lift heavy things. Yes, I’m serious. Instead of longing for the ability to wear bikinis “with confidence” like your Instagram idol does – you might want to shift your thinking over to what you can train your body to DO.
Instead of being a skittish follower and posting, “I wish I had your confidence!” to your body-positive influencer’s account, take the bull by the horns and start training with barbells.
Rather than battle internal demons to work up the courage to wear a bikini, how about working on the confidence to walk into a gym?
Focus on barbell work, particularly the deadlift, squat and bench press: the “big three” powerlifting moves that have enormous carryover to the activities of daily living.
- A strong body will support everything you do in life.
- Can’t say that about a bikini.
Imagine the Wicked Level of Confidence
Imagine how majestically wonderful you’d feel if today, you completed an exercise routine that you couldn’t touch a few months ago.
Imagine how invincible you’d feel if your warmup today was your actual workout a few months ago.
Stop letting plus-size strangers on Instagram – who make money off of the vulnerability of disenchanted women – brainwash you into believing that it all comes down to showing your belly, thighs and cleavage in public. Just say NO to being an ornament.
Ask Yourself These Questions
- Would I be “disgusted” with my plus-size body if it were able to lift 150 pounds off the ground?
- Do I know for a fact that my Instagram idol has any real life skills, such as bargaining over the price of a new car, speaking up at a town meeting or settling a workplace conflict?
- Aren’t I more than a sex object?
- Do I follow any plus-size women who are powerlifters or, at least, have shown the public they can do a lot more than just pose like a sex object?
- Do I really want my young daughter to idolize a woman who posts haughty or sexually suggestive images of herself practically naked?
Plus Size, ANY Size -- Start Lifting
Get into the gym already no matter how “fat” you feel. Wearing a bikini won’t make you fitter, stronger, faster or have more stamina to keep up with your children or take long walks on vacation.
But hitting the gym WILL. Include cardio while you’re at it. And yes, it’s perfectly okay to wear a baggy tee shirt and sweats while working out!
- Wear what puts YOU at ease – be it at the gym, at your condo’s swimming pool or on a beach. If that happens to be a bikini, then fine. But it shouldn’t be because you felt pressured by the body positivity community to abandon your modesty.
- Focus on how much weight your body can lift at the gym, not how much skin isn’t showing when you’re shopping or at the swimming pool.
- Strength training will not make you bigger. Cupcakes will.