Why So Many Miss Their Career Calling....Yes, They COULD Have Been THAT Contender
We All HAVE Talents & Gifts Even Though Such AREN'T Recognized
We ALL Have Talents/Gifts
The majority of people go though life wondering as to the whys and ifs. They reflect, pondering as to WHY their talents and/or gifts lay dormant. They also contemplate as to the reason they never recognized, even dismissed such talents and/or gifts. They maintain that IF they have developed those talents &/or gifts, they would have a job/career that they loved. They further realized that they were given such talents and/or gifts for a reason. People have certain talents, gifts, and/or interests. Some have leanings/ attractions to specific subjects/areas.
There are people who are have artistic/creative talents, gifts, and/or interests. They are drawn to the arts whether it is drawing/sketching/painting, dancing, singing, music, writing, and/or other artistic venues. Others have more scientific/mathematical/technological talents and gifts. They are endlessly enthralled with algorithms, genetic theory, and/or programming. Some are very mechanically inclined. They love repairing, even upgrading cars. There are some who demonstrate their acuity in the sports arena, particularly from a very early age.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, psychologist, author, and speaker stated that we all endowed with specific talents which one must use to fulfilling his/her particular dharma or purpose. Some would even go further, asserting that when one is born, he/she has a specific calling which he/she has to fulfill if he/she is to living his/her authentic life. Sadly, only a small percentage of people are fully aware what their talents and/or gifts are. Even fewer know to bring such talents and/or gifts, even particular interests to full fruition.
The Family Dynamic
Many MISS That MARK Because of Family Influences/Expectations
All of us were born with a specific talent, gift, or what some would call inclination or leaning towards a specific area. However, there are many factors which precludes many people from fully recognizing, developing/nurturing, and really appreciating their unique talents and/or gifts. The three main factors that I will address are family, gender, and one's attitude. However, there are other influential factors such as environmental and other psychosocial factors.
Many children have talents and/or gifts which are not recognized and nurtured by their parents and the other significant adults in their lives. There are some parents who contend that their children should be average and have moderate aspirations. There are a few parents who assert that if their children's talents and/or gifts are nurtured, they will become conceited, even arrogant. Other parents downplay their children's talents and/or gifts, maintaining that their children are like everyone else so their talents and/or gifts are nothing fantastic. However there are parents who are jealous of their children's talents and/or gifts, they are threatened by such wishing that THEY had those talents and/or gifts instead of their children. They are the parents who would do anything to downplay, even denigrate their children's special talents and/or gifts.
There are families when everyone must adapt the same construct. Examples of this include if the parents are technological, then their children must also be so; if they are athletic, then their children must have the same inclinations, and if they have an intellectual bent, their children must also have intellectual leanings. In such families, children who display a different proclivity or talent are oftentimes told that their talents and/or gifts are nonsensical, even worthless. If they continue to display their talents and/or gifts, they are denigrated or ostracized by such parents in order for the latter to tow the familial line in terms of what talents and/or gifts are deemed acceptable and which are ....NOT.
There are parents whose children are so prodigious in talents and/or gifts that they do not know how to deal with their children. They see such children as threats as they feel out of league with their children in terms of talent. Instead of finding avenues in which their children could develop their talents and/or gifts, they see their children as strange, even weird. They feel somehow that their children are abnormal in comparison to other children that they know. They even view their children as problematic because the latter's talents and/or gifts far exceed theirs.
Other parents refuse to recognize and develop their children's talents and/or gifts because in their estimation, such talents and/or gifts have no practical value. They contend that their children's talents and/or gifts will not make them a profitable, even a secure living. Many children with an artistic/creative bent had parents who portend that their talents and/or gifts will never make them a decent living so such talent is discouraged at almost every turn.
Parental/familial purview is also influential as to whether children's talents and/or gifts are discovered, encouraged, and/or nurtured. Parents with a set/limited purview will develop and encourage their children's talents and/or gifts within the former's educational and/or occupational parameters. For instance, a parent with very limited education, experience, and job options will not comprehend his/her child's/children's interests in acting/ballet which he/she deemed to be a precarious profession. This parent will steer the child/children into areas which he/she considers to be more stable/secure. A parent with a vaster education, experience, and job/career options will be more open to encouraging his/her child's talents and/or gifts in areas that is different from the former.
The Gender Dynamic
Others Miss The MARK Because of Gender Expectations
Even though there is gender equality which is unparalleled in history, there are remnants of gender specific beliefs-especially in terms of inclinations and careers. Boys and males who pursue creative careers are viewed quite negatively. They are seen as less masculine, even considered to be effeminate or have other pejoratives called them. Conversely, girls and women who pursue scientific, technological, and/or mathematical careers are seen as less feminine. There is even a campaign to have girls go in for STEM subjects i.e. scientific, technological, engineering, and/or mathematical subjects. Yes, there are still a few who maintain that there should be strict gender specific careers.
There are women who were strongly inculcated not only by parents but by other adult authoritative figures that girls/women should not like things that are more technologically based. They are also indoctrinated to never to pursue anything that is authoritative. This results in so many women settling for jobs/ careers that does not fully use their innate talents &/or gifts. There are women who have scientific talents who opt to be nurses because they were told that to be a doctor is in the purview of men. There are women who have talents in leadership who are told that to be bossy was not feminine so they sublimated their talents to be the power behind the throne instead of being the actual power.
There are boys and men who are routinely told not only by parents but other adult figures that boys/men should not be like things that deals with the arts, the soft sciences, and/or any area which is deemed traditionally feminine. They are told that they are leaders, never followers. They are further discouraged from displaying empathy, nurturing, and/or other quality which are seen to be only within the province of girls/women. Boys and male who have artistic and/or creative talents are oftentimes denigrated, even ostracized and considered to be less masculine than boys and men who have scientific, business, and/or technological talents which is seen as more acceptable.
Boys and men are furthermore respected if they have leadership talents and/or gifts. Such talents are seen as the natural proclivity of boys and men. Boys and men who have more empathetic and nurturing talents and/or gifts are somehow viewed as lesser in a masculine culture and society that puts undue emphasis on aggressiveness and toughness. Boys and men who have talents and/of gifts in dancing, design, cooking, and/or other areas which are considered traditionally feminine are not viewed as real boys/real men. As a result of such negative societal messages, there are some boys and men who downplay such talents &/or gifts in order to be seen as masculine by their parents, peers, and/or associates. They go into the acceptable jobs/careers although they are quite miserable in such as their talents and/or gifts will never be utilized.
It's THE ATTITUDE
Some MISS That Mark Because of ATTITUDE
While it is great, even fantastic to have talents and/or gifts, it means very little if one does not possess the right attitude that goes along with such talents and/or gifts. There are people with immense talents and/or gifts who make nothing of such talents and/or gifts because of their negative attitude. Conversely, there are people with moderate levels of talents and/or gifts who are highly successful because they had a very positive attitude.
Attitude is a very important as to whether one will succeed or fail. It influences how one see both the positives and negatives in life. Although one has talents and/or gifts, in order to attain success, especially high levels of success, one must be really to take risks, even fail at times. If one is adverse to taking risks, it is a very strong likelihood he/she will not succeed, oftentimes leading a very safe but fearful, risk averse life of quiet and acute desperation.
Oftentimes in order to fully utilize his/her talents, one must have a fearless attitude especially in the face of opposition and to the naysayers who maintain that such things has not been and/or cannot be done. People who adapt a fearful attitude never really fully utilize their talents and/or gifts, often listening to and following what others deem is best for them instead of living their own authentic life. Those with fearful attitudes live a life of quite desperation, wondering if they are in jobs/careers which express their true nature, talents, and/or passion. They appear as if they are actors in a play which they have not scripted.
There are those who have resigned attitudes. They contend that they must settle for a job/career that is seen as convenient although their talents and/or gifts are not aligned with that job/career. They have accepted whatever paradigm that their particular talents and/or gifts are not and/or will never be useful. They do not realize that it is up to them to fully realize and use their talents and/or gifts in a job/career that is suited for them. Better yet, if there no job/career tailored made for their talents and/or gifts, they can create such a job/career or a venture that would best utilize their full talents and/or gifts. Those with resigned attitude are the ones who are quite miserable in their jobs/careers because it is not their true profession. They feel that it is much more convenient, even expedient to settle than to really exert the effort to find a job/career or create a venture or enterprise that would better suit their talents.
Another side of this resigned attitude is believing that one did not deserve success. There are people who have talents and/or gifts but they are failures at every job/career endeavor they undertake. They seem to be afloat, never having a job/career which fulfill their talents and/or gifts or their true purpose. If they do undertake a job/career, there is one reason or another that they will fail. It can be self-sabotage, feeling that he/she is not capable, worthy, or up for the job/career, and/or he/she may even take a hated/detestable job/career with the intent of failing.
This person has an attitude of believing that he/she does not deserve success because he/she is afraid of success. He/she does not want the acclaim and/or adulation that comes with success. He/she also does not want the responsibility that comes with success. He/she is quite comfortable with failure because with failure, he/she can find excuses/rationalizations for his/her dire situation and/or circumstances. It is easier psychologically to remain in a state of continuous failure, citing unforeseen/outside circumstances than to face one's demons and access/remedy the causes of failure.
Another subcategory to this resignation is fear of greatness. In order to utilize one's talents and/or gifts at the most optimal level, one has to realize and act upon one's greatness. However, many people are loathe to consider themselves great because that denotes conceit and pride. As a result, they feel that it is safer settling for being mediocre rather than reaching for excellence regarding their unique talents.
All of us are born with certain talents and/or gifts. However, only a small percentage of people full recognize, develop, and utilize their talents and/or gifts. The majority of people are either not aware of their talents and/or gifts or fully contend that such talents and/or gifts would not be profitable for them in terms of their jobs/careers. They oftentimes settle for jobs/ careers that are not aligned with their particular talents and/or gifts thus missing their true purpose. It is said that over 50% of people hate their jobs/ careers. If people were aware of their talents and/or gifts, they would have jobs/careers, even other ventures that would utilize their talents and/or gifts at an optimum level thus making them the contenders of their lives.
© 2015 Grace Marguerite Williams