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Are You Happy......If Not......Why

Updated on March 19, 2011

Are you happy

Are you happy? If not, why? Do you know how to acquire happiness. Does your happiness depend on someone, or something else, or do you take responsibility for your own happiness?

When we say happy, we are referring to the dictionary definition that states, "Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy."

To be clear, we accept the fact that we are living in unprecedented times of sheer misery for a vast majority of the population. With the loss of employment, homes, and just instability in general. However, a measure of happiness can be found, and that's what we will be addressing in this article.

What makes you happy?

Does your happiness (pleasurable state of mind) depend largely on someone else or can you make your own happiness, independent of anyone else? To answer such questions, a bit of introspection is in order. We won't address sexual pleasure or happiness in this article, as there are a plethora of articles written on the subject and it would take an entire hub to adequately cover the topic.

Our focus will be on personal happiness. Specifically what makes you happy? Is it material possessions, family happiness, having friends, popularity, physical features, a personal relationship with a loved one?

You must know, if you've been following me, that I'll be employing my usual method of making a point.

Character One

We'll begin with Unhappy Helena, and her husband Hard Working Harry. Helena is married with 2 small children. Let's get this out of the way first, Helena does not have any emotional or health challenges, she's just unhappy with her life. Helena thought she married the "man of her dreams," but lately she seems to have been waking up to reality, at least in her words. Helena understood when she married that it would take some time to get to the point in her life that she's always dreamed of, and she was initially alright with it. However, Helena has joined a gym in a somewhat upscale area. The women at this gym have all been married a lot longer than Helena and are at the point in their lives that Helena has only aspired to. Harry preferred and Helena agreed that she would stay home for the first few years of the children's life. Now, however Helena has suddenly declared that she's unhappy with her lot in life. She wants, as she says, "to have the things that she deserves." For instance, she wants the luxury car now, she tired of the mini van, and her wedding ring set, well she's waited long enough. She's not happy with the small three bedroom house. If only she had these things, she'd be happy. You think?

Character Two

We'll now focus on Embarrassed Eddie. Eddie is a member of what is considered a large family. The family consists of Mother, and six siblings. One older and five younger. Eddie's unhappiness comes from the embarrassment of belonging to such a large family, in addition no father in the home. Initially Eddie loved belonging to such a large family, because there was always someone to play with. Now, though Eddie is in High school and in the school that he attends families are not quite as large, and lots of the families have two parents at home. Let's interject here, there are no financial problems in the family. Mother is a career woman, that also manages to spend quality time with the children. Eddie's been listening to his classmates about how good it is to be either an only child or the other half of a duo. He's been coming home lately in a very foul mood and spending time alone in his room, thinking how good it would be to be an only child, or at least not have so many siblings. All of this makes for a very unhappy Eddie.

Character Three

Here's one that I like Dissatisfied Daisy. Daisy was born a beautiful baby with a head full of curly hair,  beautiful, long thin legs. By all accounts Daisy was destined to be a stunner. Well as Daisy grew, so did her long thin legs, and that head full of curly hair just got more curly. As Daisy went through her pre-teen years she was teased by some and admired by others. Of course the teasing dominated her disposition. No matter what her parents said she still felt that if only she had different hair, or shorter legs she'd be happier. Mother has done all she could to assure her that appearances should not be her focus in life. She's at the point now at 17, that she's contemplating cosmetic surgery, because not only is she dissatisfied with her hair and legs, she feels that her nose could be a little more pointy, and her ears could be pinned back. Even though one time a model scout approached Daisy and encouraged her to look into modeling, she was not assuaged. So Daisy continues in her unhappy life.

Character Four

Well, well, now we have What About Me Melvin. Melvin has hinged his entire happiness on his wife, Self Sacrificing Sadie. Melvin told Sadie when they met, "you complete me." Initially Sadie was flattered, until she realized the full ramifications of those words. For you see, that statement applied to everything they did. When Sadie went shopping, Melvin wanted to tag along. When she cooked he was in the kitchen with her. When she went to the beauty salon, he took her and waited outside until she was finished. Sadie had no personal space. When Sadie wanted to go out with the girls, Melvin would say, "what about me, what am I going to do?" She suggested that he go out with his brother the way they used to before he met her. You just know, that fell on deaf ears.  He said, "no that's okay, I'll just watch the game until you come back, speaking of coming back, about what time do you think you'll be back?"  I'd like to add here, Melvin is not necessarily jealous, he just, as he said "needs to be completed." When Sadie tries to get personal space, Melvin sulks and makes her feel guilty.  Poor, poor Sadie.

Character Five

Oh yes, let's not forget Popular At Any Cost Patience. Don't be fooled by the name, Patience is not patient. Patience is not happy when she's not the center of attention. This fact has led to many unhappy times in her life, because she wasn't born with the attributes that would aid in getting immediate attention. So Patience had to work at getting attention, and that she did in everything. She was only happy when it was all about Patience. She has no real friends, because if anyone gets the spotlight but her she's unhappy to say the least. For instance if someone gives anyone within earshot of Patience a compliment, she wastes no time pointing out that she's better at whatever it is than anyone that she or anyone knows. Like the time when she was together with two other "friends," and one said to the other, "your sister is really nice looking, I'll bet she gets a lot of attention from the guys." Well Patience waited "patiently" until her turn to speak, then she proceeded to tell about the time she met a former boyfriend and he complimented her on how good she still looked. No reaction from the other two, and that made Patience unhappy. Patience happiness seems to be wrapped up in her popularity or lack there of.  Let's add that Patience has had a few cosmetic procedures to enhance her appearance, but she still remains unhappy.


Because the article is too long for one sitting, we're going to continue it on the next hub. Follow the link and check out the results, or my idea of solutions for these characters. The follow-up hub is Are You Happy....If Not...Why II


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    • fastfreta profile imageAUTHOR

      Alfreta Sailor 

      7 years ago from Southern California

      Yeah, but you'd get tired of him in short order.LOL! Thanks Lady_E for stopping, see you soon.

    • Lady_E profile image


      7 years ago from London, UK

      Thanks for an inspiring Hub. I quite like Melvin. It's nice to have a man like that. :)

    • fastfreta profile imageAUTHOR

      Alfreta Sailor 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      You're too much Micky Dee. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, see you soon.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      I must be Dissatisfied Daisy. A lot of those adjectives could apply to me- the curly hair, the legs, stunning, etc. But for now- I just need some bionic parts. I need new bearings and changeable parts!

    • fastfreta profile imageAUTHOR

      Alfreta Sailor 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Pmccray, you're too kind, thank you for reading and leaving a comment. See you soon.

    • pmccray profile image


      8 years ago from Utah

      Your points and character summaries were right on target. We must love ourselves before we can entertain loving another. Excellent hub, rated up and shared and on to part 2.

    • fastfreta profile imageAUTHOR

      Alfreta Sailor 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Hi rosemora08, I'm glad to hear that you are happy. However I'm sad to hear about your marital situation. Have you tried just talking to him? Sometimes we will just assume by a persons action that they are a certain way, but sometimes they just don't know how to begin the dialogue themselves. Just a thought. Anyway thanks for stopping, hope to see you again soon.

    • rosemora08 profile image


      8 years ago from California

      I am happy but not with my husband it seems that he doesnt care about what we are going through and that makes me sad.

    • fastfreta profile imageAUTHOR

      Alfreta Sailor 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks 2besure for your assessment of this hub. Also thank you for stopping and taking the time to leave that thought provoking comment. See you soon.

    • 2besure profile image

      Pamela Lipscomb 

      8 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      Powerful hub! Happiness come from things, but joy comes from the Lord. It is OK if you are not always satisfied with your situation; life's situations are always changing. The important this is, don't let the enemy steal your joy! The joy of the Lord is your strength!

    • fastfreta profile imageAUTHOR

      Alfreta Sailor 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks seamist, you're too kind. Thanks for stopping, I'll see you soon.

    • seamist profile image


      8 years ago from Northern Minnesota

      Hi FastFreta

      Although I haven't read part II yet, I love your hub so far! Your character names are great, and you are a very entertaining writer.

    • fastfreta profile imageAUTHOR

      Alfreta Sailor 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks ainehannah, I'm happy that you're happy. Thanks for the compliment. Hope to see you again soon.

    • ainehannah profile image

      Aine O'Connor 

      8 years ago from Dublin

      hubs like this make me happy. Thanks Fastfreta :0)

    • fastfreta profile imageAUTHOR

      Alfreta Sailor 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Okay Winsome, you did it boy, you've earned your commission. Now what's that about 1 per cent?

    • Winsome profile image


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      Ok I called Tyler and described you in detail and he said forget about those other characters, he wants you. He said something about Medea needing a vacation and something about you quitting your day job. How'd I do? =:)

    • fastfreta profile imageAUTHOR

      Alfreta Sailor 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you su3 for your kind words.

      Winsome, you're some kind of publicist, didn't I tell you to angle for more money from him, not turn him down flat, now you go back a make me the best deal that you can. LOL, HA, HA! You're cute Winsome, thanks. I wish he would call though.

      lorlie and Veronica you two are too much, I thank you so much for your loyalty.

      Okay samboiam, I'm waiting for the news clipping on the release. LOL! Thank you for being my champion.

      Bk, I can tell that you really got the import of my sentiments.

      Thanks RevLady and Hello, hello for you encouraging words.

      Thank you all for visiting and leaving comments. See you soon.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      great read thank you

    • Winsome profile image


      8 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      Fast Freta, Tyler Perry called and asked me if I could talk you into developing characters for his movies. I said you were too committed to your loyal hubber following to accept the thousands of dollars he was offering. I was right to say that wasn't I? =:)

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 

      8 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Like Veronica, I rated this up and can't wait to see WHO'S next! :)

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 

      8 years ago from Georgia

      I've just finished reading this installment and am on the way to the next one - rated up and can't wait to see what happens next.

    • samboiam profile image


      8 years ago from Texas

      Breaking news!!! fastfreta publishes another great hub.

      Excellent hub from an even more excellent lady.

    • BkCreative profile image


      8 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

      Oh, you have summed up all the characters fastfreta - and you started off zeroing in on the problem - we as adults have decided it is someone else's responsibility to make us happy. A woman needs a man no matter how bad he is - a man needs a woman that looks a certain way - the government must take care of us (my father taught me to stay as far away from the government as possible) - while we make no demands on that government to be fair - and finally when all else fails we can buy cosmetics advertised to make us beautiful and happy, a new diet to make us skinny and happy - a new car to make us feel powerful and happy - or take a few drugs to make us feel really happy!!! It's always external.

      I have embraced this financial meltdown that has been years and years in the making because it is making people more responsible for their survival - and own happiness. I have never met so many enterprising and creative people as I am meeting now - taking control over their happiness - and not feeling entitled to a job (because a job is not a right).

      Oh fastfreta you know I can go on and on - but this is a great pep talk - let's take some responsibility for our individual actions and our happiness.

    • RevLady profile image


      8 years ago from Lantana, Florida

      Thanks for the "happy" reflections!

      Forever His,

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      Great example. Well done and a great read.


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