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Why Be A Nice Guy? Is It Worth It?

Updated on June 12, 2017
Nice guys are the best in the end.
Nice guys are the best in the end. | Source

Nice Guys Come Last.

Nice guys come last. That's an old saying but is it true? Yes I think it is. I know that nice guys are admired by many but in the race of life they are usually at the back. Some men are leaders, others are followers this of course applies to women as well. Nice guys make the coffee, they run the errands and help where they can. The problem is that so many people take kindness for weakness, this of course is wrong. Some look down on the nice guy and exploit him, bully him and make his life in their presence a misery. When it comes to the ladies, he might desire a particular girl but she knows him as 'Jimmy' that nice guy from across the street. Jimmy will not tell her how he feels because he knows she sees him just as that nice guy.

The Winner Not Such A Nice Guy.


The winner or natural leader in life, generally sees the nice guy as someone who is useful for the menial tasks. They can be relied upon to perform background support but not to be involved in decision making and managing. Again we see a kind man seen as a weak man. I offer here a line by President J.F.Kennedy ' Do not pray for easy lives, pray to be stronger men ' Very good advice I feel. At the risk of being considered to cynical of life and men. Might I offer a Quote from one of our Hollywood greats, Kirk Douglas ' Virtue is not photogenic. What is it to be a nice guy, to be nothing that's what. A big fat zero with a smile for everybody ' I feel that sums it up really. We just have to be the best we can be to others. We are better to treat people as we would want to be treated ourselves.

There is a verse which I read every day of my life, yes that's every day. It is called ' The Guy In The Glass ' Please take the trouble to read it, you'll be better for it I feel. You will find it here. www.theguyintheglass.com I have found that this verse made me a better person.

© 2014 Graham Lee

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    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 9 months ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Flourish. Thank you for your valued visit and comments. I am glad that you found a nice guy who loves you. It makes so much difference. I understand your day to day difficulties as I have Kennedys Disease, a muscle wasting condition similar to your own. O well never mind, we all make the best of it whoever we are. Thanks again and Keep Smilin'

      Graham.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 9 months ago from USA

      I married a nice guy who makes friends with nice people. While I lament the mean people of the world, I sure won't let them win.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 16 months ago from Lancashire. England.

      Thank you Savvy for your return.

      Graham

    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 16 months ago

      I agree. Putting all men (or women) in the same bad boat is silly, and also shows a certain amount of cynicism---a trait I find very unattractive.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 16 months ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Savvy. Thanks for your visit and comments. One thing I so abhor is when women say 'O they are all the same men' This is not so there are bad apples everywhere but most men are caring of their wife and family.

      Graham.

    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 16 months ago

      The trick is to be a nice guy or gal, but with an edge. That way we can keep on being gracious and polite, knowing that we have what it takes to put our foot down when needed. Just because someone is nice doesn't mean they are wimpy; however, I see your point. If the person in the mirror doesn't like you very much, then, yes, we probably have to get a little tougher.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      PLEASE IGNORE THIS COMMENT. I AM STRAIGHTENING THE COMMENT BOXES.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Aneegma. You seem to have come through a second time. Please see my reply above. Good luck with the nice guy.

      Graham.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Merida. Sorry for my late reply. One day a nice guy will be in your world, he's out there, he's just not found you yet. Thanks for your visit and comments.

      Graham.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Mary. Sorry for my late reply. I'm glad you liked the poem it does say it all really. Thanks for the votes, visit and comments.

      Graham.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Sally. Sorry for my late reply. You are so right we need nice people with honest intentions. Thanks for your visit and comments.

      Graham.

    • Aneegma profile image

      Merida Craze 2 years ago

      I wish I met a nice guy. In my world they don't exist. The only nice guys I know are the friends that are here on HP. I may not know everything about them but I like their niceness here. Great hub. Voted up.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      "The Guy in the Glass" pretty much sums it up....you have to look in the mirror. I don't think you have a problem looking in the mirror Graham. I smiled when I read the poem because I've been telling people that for years.

      Voted up, useful, and interesting.

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Combine nice with honesty and kindness and you get the complete package in my book.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Only to happy Chris.

      Graham.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      That's great, Graham.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Chris. Thanks so much! I have already joined your face book page. Thanks again, great to meet you.

      Now following.

      Graham.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      Sharing....

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Chris. Thanks for your visit. I'm glad you liked this hub. I wish more people would read it, as you know the poem is so meaningful and helpful. Thanks again for your comments.

      Graham.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from Maple City, Michigan

      I met a kind and strong man yesterday. It is a striking combination that catches people off guard. I enjoyed your thoughts in this hub as well as the quotes by Kennedy and Douglas. The poem by Wimbrow hits the nail on the head. I remember when I was able to look myself in the mirror again. It came after a lot of internal struggles, most of which the real me won. Thanks for all the food for thought.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Patty. Thank you for your welcome visit. Your comments a very kind, thank you. I am glad you have renewed your acquaintance with the poem, I do find it helps to keep my feet on the ground.

      Graham.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 2 years ago from North America

      There is hope for the nice guy. I despise the cheaters and those who put down others in order to lift themselves up. You are not one of those - you're a winner. Thanks for reminding me of the poem!

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hello Venkatachari M. Thank you for your visit and welcome comments. I also think it is better to be a nice guy. I wish to look back and know that I did my best for all. Thanks again.

      Graham.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 2 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      Great topic. You explained it all in such simple words with illustrations and quotes. Nice guys are mostly at submissive levels. But they will be more happier and enjoy it throughout the life than the others and prove to be the most successful people in life.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Lawrence. Thanks for your comment, much appreciated.

      Graham.

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 2 years ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      Maybe that's why we cheer for the underdog. I know those are the things I enjoy. When the 'underdog' comes out on top!

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi tammy. Thank you for your visit and valued comments. Yes you are correct, the nice guy always feels the underdog. At the end of the day we all want to meet and be with nice people after all.

      Graham.

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 2 years ago from North Carolina

      It is a sad fact that nice guys feel like they finish last. This is a great hub and I enjoyed the poem. :)

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      I agree Lawrence, well said.

      Graham.

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 2 years ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      You're right Graham. It really is worth it. Someone who 'cheats' or plays 'to win' at the cost of others may be in the limelight for a day, but the truly great ones who do things the right way for the right reasons will be remembered long after that day.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi lawrence. I think it's worth it lawrence and so do you. Life is what we make it in the end although some are born to greatness, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them. Thanks for your interest.

      Graham.

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 2 years ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      I want to 'win ' at life as much as any man but to do it without integrity? No thanks the price is too high!!

      Thanks for taking the time to make us stop and think on if it's really worth it.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi James. Thank you for your welcome visit and positive comments about the hub. I appreciate them.

      Graham.

    • justthemessenger profile image

      James C Moore 2 years ago from The Great Midwest

      I enjoyed Dale Wimbrow's "man in the mirror"poem. However, if you want to look at yourself without blinking, it's not about being nice so much as it is about doing right. The right thing and the nice thing are often the same thing. Sometimes though, what's right and what's nice are not the same. Thanks for sharing that insightful poem in your inspiring hub.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Helen. Thank you for your valued visit and in depth comments. I greatly appreciate your interest. I am glad you downloaded the wonderful poem, it really does help us to see things in perspective. Thanks again.

      Graham.

    • Seeker7 profile image

      Helen Murphy Howell 2 years ago from Fife, Scotland

      Graham, a very powerful piece of writing and much of what you say is true because of the way our society views people and their different personalities etc. However, if we look back at the history of the human race, sure the 'leaders' have numerous mentions in history books and so on, but if it wasn't for the 'nice guys' and 'nice girls' in human society we wouldn't have survived as a species.

      I think as well that when we read quotes from folks like Kirk Douglas we should be a little sceptical. Very often these actors are talking egos and cover up what they really feel inside - perhaps he should have read that wonderful poem you recommended - 'the guy in the glass'? I've downloaded this and many thanks for the link.

      In this day and age with all the cruelty and evil going on in this world, it gives me hope when I see and hear about the 'nice guys' and here's hoping the human race continues to produce a good crop of them! Lastly, as a female, if I want a loving husband and a wonderful Dad for my kids - give me the 'nice guy' every time. Nice guys and girls keep a light shinning in this bleak old world and long may they continue to walk the streets with us!!

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hello Nicu. Thank you welcome visit and comment. You are of course correct, we need more nice guys at the front

      Graham.

    • Romanian profile image

      Nicu 2 years ago from Oradea, Romania

      It's always good to be nice , and to help others if you can. If everybody will try to be a nice guy, the world will be a better place.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Tammy. Thank you for your visit and nice comments. Yes we really do need the nice guys to step forward in the world. Thank you for pinning, I do appreciate it.

      Graham.

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 2 years ago from North Carolina

      There are so few nice guys left on the planet. Excellent thoughts! Pinning!

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Patricia. Thank you for your visit and lovely comments. Thanks for reading my hubs and taking the time to comment, it shows also that you are the nicest person and thanks for the angels.

      Graham.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 2 years ago from sunny Florida

      Graham

      I have heard that saying too about the nice guys finishing last but never did hold too much stock in that.

      Finish last in what I wondered?

      Those to whom I am most drawn are the sincerely 'nice' people who walk the planet. Those who are willing to help another, even someone they do not know, hold a door, carry a package, rake a lawn...well, you know.

      Just from reading your writings I do not think the quote you provided sums you up at all. Nice does prevail in the long run. It takes all of us to keep the 'nice' alive

      Angels are on the way to you this morning ps

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Colleen. Thank you for your visit and valued comments. You are right of course.

      Graham.

    • Colleen Swan profile image

      Colleen Swan 2 years ago from County Durham

      Hi Graham. Fortunately, it is possible to be a fine human being without being abused by the ruthless. It is vital to set definite limits in order to avoid exploitation. Still, it is a wonderful feeling to do kindnesses while retaining one,s dignity and self-respect.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi CMHypno. Thank you for your most welcome visit and in depth reply, I much appreciate it. I echo your sentiments entirely. Might I recommend something to you; please Google 'The guy in the Glass' only a few moments to read but something you will return to again I think.

      Thanks again.

      Graham.

    • CMHypno profile image

      CMHypno 2 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

      Maybe the nice guy or lady coming last is what is wrong with our society? It means the people at the top are always the not so nice, ruthless types or have learned to be that way to get ahead.

      If we all started to respect the nice people - appreciate the tea made, the dishwasher emptied, the kind smiles and the grand children looked after - we would all be living in a much more pleasant, gentler world.

      I try to be one of the nice ones. Yes I get walked over sometimes, but I don't want to change who I am and at the end of the day I have to be able to live with myself. It's up to others to deal with their karma

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Paula. Yes great comments from Bobby, thanks for reading on.

      Graham.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Bobby. Thank you for your welcome visit and comments. Yes I agree nice guys are the best. Thanks again.

      Graham.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Paula. Thank you for your visit and welcome in depth comments. I agree that nice guys are best. Boring at times but reliable when needed. When we look in that glass we have to know we did our best.

      Graham.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi cfin. Thank you for your visit and welcome comments. We all need good people around us in this world.

      Graham.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Jo. Thanks for your valued visit. Yes, if the person in the mirror is content then you are doing your best. Peace of mind is what we seek in this world. We think it's wealth but peace of mind is all.

      Graham.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Nell. Thank you for your welcome visit and comments. I appreciate your votes and sharing. Yes, I think being nice is best.

      Graham.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Bobbi....I LOVE your answer!! It's perfectly accurate! :) You're quite a gal!

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 2 years ago from Florida

      Hi,

      Nice people soar in my world and that is why all my friends are nice.

      And, just because someone is congenial does not make them weak.

      If someone is weak and lets others use them---that is their choice and it has nothing to do with being nice.

      In the business world niceness may seem to take a back seat---but not so today---nice guy can finish first---but they need to be savvy.

      I enjoyed your hub and have a great weekend.

      Bobbi Purvis

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Graham.....I seriously and emphatically disagree that "Nice guys finish last." I'll admit that may depend on what, how, where and when....such as, I suppose if your job/career dictates that you be somewhat harsh, unfeeling and demanding.

      However, in general and with regard to most of life's experiences, nice guys are the ones that others want to associate with and know they can count on you. If kindness is seen as a "weakness," it only takes a few moments to straighten that misconception out....know what I mean, Graham?

      If you're considering that you may regret being a nice guy.....I promise you, you never will. I love the poem.....we all have to look in that glass. Let's hope we can smile at who we see.....UP++++ Peace, Paula

    • cfin profile image

      cfin 2 years ago from The World we live in

      Because, if your nice, you will see people's true colors and end up with only the good people around.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      There is much insight and a lot of wisdom in the poem. In my time I've known a few nice guys and a few players, I'll take the nice guy any day. I've been called nice all my life, I'm currently revolting against family members who see me as a soft touch. I'm tired of people taking my kindness for weakness, the thing is, I like being nice, it's who I am, and when I look in the mirror, more often than not, I like what I see. Up and awesome.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      I always think to be famous or ambitious the nice guy comes last, I have seen it myself, being nice tends to get you nowhere these days! but being nice brings its own rewards, interesting stuff, voted up and shared!

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi peachy. Thank you for your visit and welcome comment. Yes I think the nice guys are the best.

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      it is good being a nice guy, people appreciate your attitude, positive image

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Suzanne. Thanks for your visit and comments, they are appreciated also the vote. I think you are correct in your assertion that views change as time passes and we value that which is more valuable in life.

      Graham.

    • Suzanne Day profile image

      Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      Yeah nice guys often get the bad end of the stick when they are younger, but when they get older, they find many more women are attracted to them because women get past a certain age where beer guzzling bikies fail to hold appeal. Voted useful!

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Dim, thanks for reading this hub, I'm glad you liked it. Yes, we need some good guys in the world at present that's for sure. All the best for a Lancashire Christmas.

      Graham.

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 2 years ago from Great Britain

      great hub. I had never read the guy in the glass before. Fascinating. I can understand why you read it every day.

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Stella. Thanks for your welcome visit. Yes we need more nice guys in this world of ours.

      Graham.

    • ladyguitarpicker profile image

      stella vadakin 2 years ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

      Just wanted to visit and say Hi, and let you know we need nice guys. Liked this hub. Stella

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Iris. Thank for your visit and comments. I think you are right a little thought and care is all that is required.

      Graham.

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      Cristen Iris 2 years ago from Boise, Idaho

      Graham, I think the world is changing. People are sick of the bombastic leaders and are seeking out kind, thoughtful individuals with vision and passion. You demonstrated that in this little nugget. Stay nice. :)

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Ruby. Thanks for your visit. I'm so glad you liked the hub and you went to the mirror after reading the poem. Yes it keeps one grounded, thank you.

      Graham.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Interesting thoughts this morning. I read the poem and I went and looked at myself in the mirror and it's true, you can't fool yourself, you are what you see. Funny how reading that poem opened my feelings. I can see why you read it daily, keeps one grounded. Thank you Graham..

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi dilip. Thanks for your visit and comments. I appreciate them.

      Graham.

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      Dilip Chandra 2 years ago from India

      I see truth in your hub... Well, 'nice' hub :)

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Bill. You flatter me Bill. Thanks for your visit and comments. I don't think inspiration is far away from you at any time.

      Graham.

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Graham, there are two reasons for me to be a nice guy...it's the right thing to do, and it makes me feel better about myself. :)

      The hub I wrote for you awaits. :) Thanks for the inspiration my friend.

    • old albion profile image
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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Ann. Thank you for your visit and very nice comments. I'm glad your granddaughter is learning the lessons of life, it is so nice when you can see her blossoming. Yes, the poem is a delight, if you read it regularly it really helps you to focus.

      Graham.

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      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Hello, Graham! The words of that poem are so wise.

      Being the nice guy or girl is a good thing but you have to be aware of those who take advantage - it's still possible to point out 'nicely' that you're not keen on that! Maybe it's not always easy though.

      I have a granddaughter who is pleasant and helpful to everyone but she's beginning to learn that she has to give up some so called friendships when they bully her. Sad but true. She is true to herself and knows right from wrong and I'm proud of her.

      Great hub with a message to make us think hard.

      Ann

    • old albion profile image
      Author

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      High Jodah. Thanks for your visit and in depth comments. You are clearly a nice guy. Yes 'The guy in the glass' is inspirational' A poem that one returns to. It puts your feet on the ground. Thanks for your vote.

      Graham.

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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      I love that poem "The Guy in the Glass" Graham....it is so so true. I think I am a nice guy and was often told when younger I was "too" nice, if you can believe that. Believe me it has its good and bad sides. I used to have so many friends who were girls..but that's the trouble...I was too good a friend. You know the old line.."we are such good friends. I don't want to spoil things :)"

      At the end of the day though, you have to live with yourself and your actions and be able to look at that guy in the mirror. yes, the good guy often comes last....but better late than never, and sometimes last ends up being the luckiest. I wrote a story about this: "a life Worth Living"

      Anyway keep being a nice guy, love this hub. Voted up.