Why Be A Nice Guy? Is It Worth It?

I married a nice guy who makes friends with nice people. While I lament the mean people of the world, I sure won't let them win.

I agree. Putting all men (or women) in the same bad boat is silly, and also shows a certain amount of cynicism---a trait I find very unattractive.

The trick is to be a nice guy or gal, but with an edge. That way we can keep on being gracious and polite, knowing that we have what it takes to put our foot down when needed. Just because someone is nice doesn't mean they are wimpy; however, I see your point. If the person in the mirror doesn't like you very much, then, yes, we probably have to get a little tougher.

I wish I met a nice guy. In my world they don't exist. The only nice guys I know are the friends that are here on HP. I may not know everything about them but I like their niceness here. Great hub. Voted up.

"The Guy in the Glass" pretty much sums it up....you have to look in the mirror. I don't think you have a problem looking in the mirror Graham. I smiled when I read the poem because I've been telling people that for years.

Voted up, useful, and interesting.

Combine nice with honesty and kindness and you get the complete package in my book.

That's great, Graham.

Sharing....

I met a kind and strong man yesterday. It is a striking combination that catches people off guard. I enjoyed your thoughts in this hub as well as the quotes by Kennedy and Douglas. The poem by Wimbrow hits the nail on the head. I remember when I was able to look myself in the mirror again. It came after a lot of internal struggles, most of which the real me won. Thanks for all the food for thought.

There is hope for the nice guy. I despise the cheaters and those who put down others in order to lift themselves up. You are not one of those - you're a winner. Thanks for reminding me of the poem!

Great topic. You explained it all in such simple words with illustrations and quotes. Nice guys are mostly at submissive levels. But they will be more happier and enjoy it throughout the life than the others and prove to be the most successful people in life.

Maybe that's why we cheer for the underdog. I know those are the things I enjoy. When the 'underdog' comes out on top!

It is a sad fact that nice guys feel like they finish last. This is a great hub and I enjoyed the poem. :)

You're right Graham. It really is worth it. Someone who 'cheats' or plays 'to win' at the cost of others may be in the limelight for a day, but the truly great ones who do things the right way for the right reasons will be remembered long after that day.

I want to 'win ' at life as much as any man but to do it without integrity? No thanks the price is too high!!

Thanks for taking the time to make us stop and think on if it's really worth it.

I enjoyed Dale Wimbrow's "man in the mirror"poem. However, if you want to look at yourself without blinking, it's not about being nice so much as it is about doing right. The right thing and the nice thing are often the same thing. Sometimes though, what's right and what's nice are not the same. Thanks for sharing that insightful poem in your inspiring hub.

Graham, a very powerful piece of writing and much of what you say is true because of the way our society views people and their different personalities etc. However, if we look back at the history of the human race, sure the 'leaders' have numerous mentions in history books and so on, but if it wasn't for the 'nice guys' and 'nice girls' in human society we wouldn't have survived as a species.

I think as well that when we read quotes from folks like Kirk Douglas we should be a little sceptical. Very often these actors are talking egos and cover up what they really feel inside - perhaps he should have read that wonderful poem you recommended - 'the guy in the glass'? I've downloaded this and many thanks for the link.

In this day and age with all the cruelty and evil going on in this world, it gives me hope when I see and hear about the 'nice guys' and here's hoping the human race continues to produce a good crop of them! Lastly, as a female, if I want a loving husband and a wonderful Dad for my kids - give me the 'nice guy' every time. Nice guys and girls keep a light shinning in this bleak old world and long may they continue to walk the streets with us!!

It's always good to be nice , and to help others if you can. If everybody will try to be a nice guy, the world will be a better place.

There are so few nice guys left on the planet. Excellent thoughts! Pinning!

Graham

I have heard that saying too about the nice guys finishing last but never did hold too much stock in that.

Finish last in what I wondered?

Those to whom I am most drawn are the sincerely 'nice' people who walk the planet. Those who are willing to help another, even someone they do not know, hold a door, carry a package, rake a lawn...well, you know.

Just from reading your writings I do not think the quote you provided sums you up at all. Nice does prevail in the long run. It takes all of us to keep the 'nice' alive

Angels are on the way to you this morning ps

Hi Graham. Fortunately, it is possible to be a fine human being without being abused by the ruthless. It is vital to set definite limits in order to avoid exploitation. Still, it is a wonderful feeling to do kindnesses while retaining one,s dignity and self-respect.

Maybe the nice guy or lady coming last is what is wrong with our society? It means the people at the top are always the not so nice, ruthless types or have learned to be that way to get ahead.

If we all started to respect the nice people - appreciate the tea made, the dishwasher emptied, the kind smiles and the grand children looked after - we would all be living in a much more pleasant, gentler world.

I try to be one of the nice ones. Yes I get walked over sometimes, but I don't want to change who I am and at the end of the day I have to be able to live with myself. It's up to others to deal with their karma

Bobbi....I LOVE your answer!! It's perfectly accurate! :) You're quite a gal!

Hi,

Nice people soar in my world and that is why all my friends are nice.

And, just because someone is congenial does not make them weak.

If someone is weak and lets others use them---that is their choice and it has nothing to do with being nice.

In the business world niceness may seem to take a back seat---but not so today---nice guy can finish first---but they need to be savvy.

I enjoyed your hub and have a great weekend.

Bobbi Purvis

Graham.....I seriously and emphatically disagree that "Nice guys finish last." I'll admit that may depend on what, how, where and when....such as, I suppose if your job/career dictates that you be somewhat harsh, unfeeling and demanding.

However, in general and with regard to most of life's experiences, nice guys are the ones that others want to associate with and know they can count on you. If kindness is seen as a "weakness," it only takes a few moments to straighten that misconception out....know what I mean, Graham?

If you're considering that you may regret being a nice guy.....I promise you, you never will. I love the poem.....we all have to look in that glass. Let's hope we can smile at who we see.....UP++++ Peace, Paula

Because, if your nice, you will see people's true colors and end up with only the good people around.

There is much insight and a lot of wisdom in the poem. In my time I've known a few nice guys and a few players, I'll take the nice guy any day. I've been called nice all my life, I'm currently revolting against family members who see me as a soft touch. I'm tired of people taking my kindness for weakness, the thing is, I like being nice, it's who I am, and when I look in the mirror, more often than not, I like what I see. Up and awesome.

I always think to be famous or ambitious the nice guy comes last, I have seen it myself, being nice tends to get you nowhere these days! but being nice brings its own rewards, interesting stuff, voted up and shared!

it is good being a nice guy, people appreciate your attitude, positive image

Yeah nice guys often get the bad end of the stick when they are younger, but when they get older, they find many more women are attracted to them because women get past a certain age where beer guzzling bikies fail to hold appeal. Voted useful!

great hub. I had never read the guy in the glass before. Fascinating. I can understand why you read it every day.

Just wanted to visit and say Hi, and let you know we need nice guys. Liked this hub. Stella

Graham, I think the world is changing. People are sick of the bombastic leaders and are seeking out kind, thoughtful individuals with vision and passion. You demonstrated that in this little nugget. Stay nice. :)

Interesting thoughts this morning. I read the poem and I went and looked at myself in the mirror and it's true, you can't fool yourself, you are what you see. Funny how reading that poem opened my feelings. I can see why you read it daily, keeps one grounded. Thank you Graham..

I see truth in your hub... Well, 'nice' hub :)

Graham, there are two reasons for me to be a nice guy...it's the right thing to do, and it makes me feel better about myself. :)

The hub I wrote for you awaits. :) Thanks for the inspiration my friend.

Hello, Graham! The words of that poem are so wise.

Being the nice guy or girl is a good thing but you have to be aware of those who take advantage - it's still possible to point out 'nicely' that you're not keen on that! Maybe it's not always easy though.

I have a granddaughter who is pleasant and helpful to everyone but she's beginning to learn that she has to give up some so called friendships when they bully her. Sad but true. She is true to herself and knows right from wrong and I'm proud of her.

Great hub with a message to make us think hard.

Ann