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Why Scream to Those Loved?

Updated on April 19, 2014

C.S. Lewis quoted: "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken,it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

These are great words; I truly like them, but our human nature will not permit this to happen. If we do get away with C.S. Lewis' quote, we will succumb into depression, loneliness; and live in death. We were created by a loving God in His image. We have enabled the "love" thingamajig since the womb.

A friend is loved, a pet is loved, a spouse also; and a family member that is our same blood is loved. Martin Luther King Jr. said "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend." So then, love is an amazing thing that may transform the person who is an antagonist seeking to injure, overthrow and contend with us. If we love somebody independently of the relation, why incur in this heated hysterical speaking manner with harsh high tones, called 'screams'?

Screams distortion

Learn how to debate
Learn how to debate

Speech and heart must be trained

I always repeat a fact, and it is that we are all different. The debate issue will not be skipped, neither war is to be declared. Perhaps it is an unconscious habit, or a way to be the winner of a debate ... whatever the roots are and the reason, it is unnecessary to protest, demand and complain vehemently. Henry B. Adams quoted: "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." We definitely need to train the way we speak, since our words may become atom bombs!

It is said that love comes from the heart, so is it possible that we need to include our hearts in the training process? I believe we do by what is written in Luke 6:45 "The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart."

Ten ways to stop screaming to those loved

  1. Relax, it will help to balance the momentary stress.
  2. Pray to remain in God's will.
  3. Recognize that the debate is with a loved one, it will help to stop abuse.
  4. Acknowledge that screaming damages your own cords.
  5. Acknowledge individual differences, it will help to lower expectations.
  6. Learn to listen, it will help to understand what is being said.
  7. Learn to control your emotions, it will permit consciousness in a debate.
  8. Respect other's points of view, others have the right to think.
  9. Debate altruistically, because love is an action.
  10. Learn to accept to win, lose and withdraw.

Source

Living in hard times

Matthew 24:12 says: "Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold," It does not say "everybody", I suggest to stay away of being part of the "most". Look deep in your heart and take time to train your heart and mouth. Speech should flow with the correct ways when debating any theme. No, it is not easy...ask me! But, it is not impossible!

Still love when you are mad, don't get blind ... just let love see the one in front!!

Blessings to all as we train ourselves to stop screaming to those loved.


© Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill

© 2013 Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill

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    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      ShyeAnnethanks for the visit, hope we learn to take some advices from the H.O.W. movement.

    • ShyeAnne profile image

      ShyeAnne 

      5 years ago from Deep Bay, British Columbia, Canada

      Compelling read. Thank you Lastheart , good words, all of them.

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Abby Campbell and livingsta thanks my friends. Love is the answer.

    • livingsta profile image

      livingsta 

      5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you for this beautiful hub. I agree, we need to calm down and learn to listen and control our emotions. It will reduce so many problems by more than a 50%. Prayer is a good medicine to control anger too. With love, anything is possible...

      Thank you for sharing this with us. I am sharing this.

      Have a great week :-)

    • Abby Campbell profile image

      Dr Abby Campbell 

      5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      Thank you for this hub, Maria. It's a great reminder that love conquers all. :-)

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Ha!! you are a funny leader, I must say, and that is good. God wants us joyful. Good exercise, you just gave me an idea. Thanks again for sharing that once in a time experience.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      OMG, Lastheart we had a blast during my sermon today, We spent 5 minutes making ugly faces at each other. You know, mean, mad, sad and disappointing. Then we started with Loving faces. Your hub was an inspiration. I assume right now children and spouse are sneaking up on each other being mean, only to instantly change into laughter. Our choice!! Learning that we control it is essential to loving and loving and on and on.

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Eric thanks for reading and as usual for sharing an interesting experience. We all get angry, we all will raise the tone of our voice for many reasons. There is a fine line. Our loved ones distinguish the root and purpose of our screams, because they know they are loved before the scream. That is why like your son, they know that love is there also after the scream. Ephesians 4:26 says: "BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,"

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Oh my what a good hub for me today, I just had to raise my voice to my son. And he still did not hand over the avocado but dropped it on the floor. Then he ran and hid. 3 minutes later he came and apologized for making me angry. Perhaps just to get to eat some of that Avocado on toast. Sometimes honest anger is not so bad.

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Froggy213, Froggy213, Froggy213 thanks my dear husband, friend and brother in Christ.

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      ALUR thanks for your deep insight. So much wisdom in such a simple act: "If one takes the time to enjoy the unique attributes of each and every one of us".

    • Froggy213 profile image

      Greg Boudonck 

      5 years ago from Returned to an Isla Del Sol - Puerto Rico Will Rise Strong

      A well written and thought out hub. Good job honey. Voting up across the board

    • ALUR profile image

      ALUR 

      5 years ago from USA

      If one takes the time to enjoy the unique attributes of each and every one of us, we are less likely to be judgmental. It is such a hard journey to seek the "light" when others assault or hurt...when love calls you it beckons you forward with ups and downs. be prepared to be open or else turn your back and live life as a guest on a wayward path...

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