Working through Life in your Dreams

Settling in for the night

Too tired to think, too tired to dream

Yet somehow the images arrive

When I am paralyzed

A scene plays out before me

So normal, so serene

A piece of life - I wish, I guess that may be mine

Or I'm afraid could be mine

Or quickly turns horribly wrong

Someone is chasing me and I can't run fast enough

My gun is not where it should be, or my aim is not so precise

I fall and hide, sweating with fear that the faceless predator will find me

Can I really hide long enough to find a strategy to turn and face it?

Where is something I can use as a weapon and will it be strong enough?

Am I strong enough for this battle?

I hope this presence is not going after anyone else.

All the while my thoughts are racing...

What did I do to deserve such an enemy?

What could anyone do that inspires so much hatred?

I've led a good life, always done what I thought was right,

I've followed my heart, always tried to play fair and be honest.

I've helped when I could and always tried to step lightly and with compassion.

Why would anyone be so angry, so enraged and feel so much hatred toward me?

I can feel its presence; it wants to hurt me,

It would love to devour me, leave me for dead, and beat me until I bleed.

This demon would gain some satisfaction from doing it.

I won't be such an easy prey. I won't be taken without a fight.

And if in this dream, I have the responsibility of children or pets to protect - you'd better believe - they will be safe. I'll give my life for them.

There is a bit of the lioness in me - who will fiercely protect her cubs.

I will stand up for what I believe. Is this about who I am and how I think?  I will not be misrepresented and I will not lie to save my neck. But in this day and age, people shouldn’t.

I will not play the victim to these people that terrorize me. Or shadows that terrorize me.

Whenever I let my guard down, and venture out into the world, there seems to be a sniper who can't help but take a shot at me to try to scare me back inside. But I've learned how to fire back. I've learned how to defend myself. I know how to deal with much more pain now and I know that with loving deeply, pain is just a small part – love is much, much greater than that, the benefits far outweigh the risks – so bring it on. I’m not afraid of that anymore.

I always wake up before any real harm comes to me. I always wake up before the end of the battle. I may have been beaten a few times, shot, stabbed, and my predator never really has a face that I remember upon waking - but I do remember the safe people in my dreams. I remember who I protected and who jumped in or who was there to protect me.

This is a game or an exercise my subconscious plays with me. I know it's for my own good so that I can work out the issues and problems in my head in a really fast way while my body is at rest. I can use my awake time on my other pursuits or on those things that are most precious to me. I'm grateful for these dreams that I used to call "nightmares". We cannot call them nightmares when obviously they are only helping me with healing and propelling me forward so that I can be ready for the next stage in life.

It doesn't mean I'm not tired of it. It doesn't mean I like playing this game.

It does mean that if I play it long enough, in my dreams, eventually I know I'll learn how to go out into the real world and it will all just be natural for me to walk tall and not be afraid. I will have conquered all I need to without the need for a witness.

Dream therapy; It works for me...