Would I Lie to You? (Part-3)

Being young, sheltered, and definitely naive, when I began obstetrical nursing, I truly believed that babies came from families, or at the very least from doting single mothers who couldn't wait to hold and nurture their little offspring, planned or not. What I've learned after nearly 6 years of doing this, is that babies come from uteruses, or uteri, whatever the plural of that word might be. Either way, best I can tell these days, the only real requirement for a baby to join us in the world is working reproductive organs, and most importantly a sturdy and well-functioning uterus. Said uterus can belong to a junkie, a homeless woman, a psychiatric patient, an incarcerated woman, a thirteen-year-old, these heartwarming, hallmark-card scenarios never cease. I've had to have my phone taken away from me to stop me from calling the producers of "A Baby Story" to pitch the idea, "The Real Baby Story--Tales From The Hood."

If anyone would let me be queen as I have requested, my first order as queen would be to form a Breeding Parliament in which prospective candidates for reproducing would have to undergo some sort of screening, I.Q. testing, and mandatory urine drug analysis prior to conceiving. This may sound like a violation of civil rights to someone not in obstetrics, but when it comes to childbirth--I'm a communist. I feel their should be rules, guidelines, and parental consequences for horrible decision making skills. I'm getting off topic.

This hub earned the title 2 hubs ago as "Would I Lie to You?" because of all the lies nurses are told behind batting eyes. We give the nurse nod, (the one with the small smile, a silent head tilt, and a 'who do you think you're fooling?' look in our eyes), while patients fabricate imaginary husbands when dads aren't involved, while they deny STD's when we are staring soberly at their lab results, and while they deny having eaten when they weren't supposed to and their blood sugars are in the stratosphere. But this is my place to share a comforting secret with all those who have the urge to lie to their healthcare practitioners (practitioners who have complete access to their medical history, I might add)--we do not care. We're not going to judge. Any nurse or doctor worth their salt has heard it ALL, or close to it. And even for those occasional revelations that catch us off guard, the dust settles quickly, and we move straight into, how can we make this right, or come close to it, mode. We want to help.