Yoga For Beginners and Those With A Sense of Humor

Bill, this is hilarious. But good for you for sticking with it. I tried yoga many years ago and I know what you mean about the names of the positions. Who came up with these anyway. Hopefully the yoga works some magic for you. Well written and very funny. Bill

This is such a great hub, you had me literally laughing out loud ! Before I had my three kids I used to do yoga all the time and loved it (I was barely 18), but I tried to do it a couple of weeks ago and had the same reaction as you. I voted up!

AHHAHAHAHAHA! you crack me up! Nice work. :)

Bill, I think we can now do with some deep, calming yoga breathing exercises after laughing ourselves silly here! All in all a good workout! Thanks for the fun, my friend.

Rika

Dont feel bad Bill. Ive recently taken on a exercise routine of my own and with a week, crawling out of bed had become quite a literal statement. Best of luck to you and keep up the breathing and relaxing! Lol :)

I don't know about you Bill but Yoga is far from my personal work out scope, lol.

You go on with your bad self man, I'm sticking to normal bodily positions, like sitting, walking, standing, Indian type pose stretching, jumping jacks, push up's, sit up's, and normal running.

Yikes Yoga looks and is so painful indeed, I don't care to be able to bend my torso, and entire body into a pretzel stick. Haha

I love your humor here its so hilarious, I was cracking up throughout the reading of this awesome hub of yours, and I especially like the climax towards the end, because I thought you were going to promote the use of that Yoga instructors video, but instead you flattened it.

Nice! writing style and super funny, voted up and you know where else its going.

Bill I bought D'Arcy Bushell's Pilates DVD and also wanted to fling that across the room...yoga might be more my thing but I'm too idle at the moment; I admore you for trying though :o), this made me laugh, loved your description of Mountain position!

Billbuc, Thanks you for the belly laugh, just what I needed and really do keep up the Yoga just find a more gentle method!

This is great Bill, I don't think I will be taking up yoga anytime soon though! But, I do commemorate your for taking it up, and this hub was hilarious. Especially the part about the pregnant women in Bangladesh, loved it! All my votes and sharing!

LOL, You are welcome! It definitely cracked me up for the first hub I read this morning, so thanks!

Funny description of your new keep fit mantra .

I am not sure about the rest of your followers, but personally think this hub could be significantly enhanced if you would show us your yoga skills rather than tell us about them. I think some photos and videos of you doing these poses in your leotard would help us appreciate your efforts so much more. :) Pictures, pictures, pictures!!!!!

I did yoga a few years ago but I found it to be painful. I don't find the serenity in it. Great hub and very funny.

Right on Bill, although this is humorous I am also glad that you are making an effort to be healthy! I have taken an yoga class and know many of the poses you describe. My fave exercise is walking. I vote up and will share too.

OMG! Bill every morning I'm going to imagine you in a tortured pose cursing silently! LOL LOL

Ok....after this. good luck with the stretching! Give yourself a break in between. Funny!

As always; nothing better than a quick dose of billybuc humor! I guess I'll now cross yoga off my bucket list as I am not one that enjoys pain :)

Great hub, really enjoyed that. I voted "Tried it but have young children". Does it cont that they are young grandchildren?

Good hub, Bill. Never tried yoga, but really like yogurt! ;)

Great hub! I love our "downward facing dog" and "tiger" photos as a fun spin to the topic.

I am so glad that I clicked and read your hub today! Your photos and captions are hysterical. You gave me a good healthy laugh, which I needed today. Thanks. You have also reminded me that it might be a good idea to dust of the Pilates dvd. :)

I laughed and laughed and laughed, and then laughed some more. The only exercise approach I ever found that isn't misery for those of us over 55 was doing physical therapy exercises in a pool. You are sore afterward, the good muscle sore, but no agony during the exercises. I (well all of us) can safely do things in the water that we probably shouldn't do on land. I am proud of you for trying,but I feel for you as you stretch and twist in agony. :)

I hope you do more things out of the ordinary soon, you write with so much humor that way! It's great. My ex-mother in law is in her mid sixties; does yoga weekly and she notices the difference in little things. It is easier to twist her neck around while driving in reverse, she is more flexible and it is easier to tie her shoes, bend or any of those daily things.

I hope you can stick to it. Maybe a little more inner peace along side the yoga and maybe the two will click together and you will find that serenity.

Lot's of luck and please write more!

lol...hilarious hub! Awesome humour - couldn't stop laughing. "Obnoxiously peaceful" :)

I tried Yoga a few years back- had a sneaky feeling that I was not meant for it and I was right. All the best to you, Billy!

Good for you Bill to take on the challenge of yoga! It's a whole new adventure and once you get past the painful part you will become hooked. I started yoga 4 years ago and I still enjoy it...when I have time for it. Way to go! I'm cheering you on!

bill....your hubs always ROCK......Yoga is an EXCELLENT practice and everyone should get involved.....Bev is one of the smartest women I know.....

.and Of course, you're out of your mind, but what does that have to do with this hub? Stretch, breathe, relax.....very good, grasshopper....

This was a great hub! So hilarious and true! I once had a yoga instructor say when we were twisted into knots and trying not to scream in pain, "Now, wipe off those angry faces and nasty thoughts and put on your nirvana face!" That always got us laughing--just like your hub! Enjoy your downward dogs! Namaste!

Billy, you are, as they say, a hoot! Yoga can sometimes feel like torture, but it is oh so good. Next you should add Tai Chi :-) Awesome article. As yoginijoy says, "namaste."

Billybuc, of course you should sue him. 4 weeks is practically a lifetime. In fact, people should get slimmer the minute they buy the DVD. I'm with you and I'm willing to testify on your behalf... They sold the DVD and didn't include a lake? Are you kidding me? This is the US of A baby. No lake, no peace.

I am laughing so hard it hurts! I can just see you tying yourself in a knot, Kill the Damn Cat and Get Me A Beer nearly made me choke! absolutely hilarious! I do understand I tried yoga for about 4 minutes, 5 was just to much! good luck with it, and let us know how you get on! lol!

Yoga is amazing Bill! It's great for strength, flexibility, and stress reduction. I haven't been doing much yoga lately but I'm glad to know that you are. Why didn't you provide a video of your experience? Thanks for the great laugh. Kelley

lol! Too funny. I have a big yoga poster in my loft that shows all the sun salutation positions and a bunch of other stuff. I've done it for awhile, then quit. I also have a treadmill that I use sometimes until I injure myself. Usually that happens about two weeks in, when I can finally do a mile in 20 minutes. I fall off of it or twist my ankle or whatever. I am too flaky and clumsy to commit to a formal exercise routine. I walk my dog and lift food to my mouth. ;)

Bill this is one funny piece of writing right from the start. Those translations were very cool. I love your favorite yoga postion. Wish I could do it! Hehe.

BTW Bill, thanks for including that link. Goes well with this hub isn't it ? Lol.

Voted up and funny.

Bill, have I told you that I just love your hubs!!! Thanks for making me laugh, you have a great sense of humor! Hey, I think that is a wonderful idea, good for you!

Believe it or not, I have that video and was a faithful yoga enthusiast until Hubpages entered my domain. All kidding aside, yoga is a wonderful exercise. I still do the stretching without the video. ( I don't even know where it is. ) I have faith in you. Stick with it. Bev knows best. Funny hub, made me laugh. Thank you..

I loved this Hub! I do Yoga, and I'm not telling my age, but if you look at my photo and count the wrinkles, you can guess! I'm really into meditation, too. Have you tried that along with the yoga?

I voted this UP, shared here and will share on FB

Ha...ha...ha..you are so funny billybuc! I can't seem to visualize you on those Yoga positions and the ohmm, ohmm, ohmm sounds with your hand clasp together while at rest on your yoga cross sitting position on the floor. I did it once in my life and I got bored. It felt like it was the longest hour of my life. Lol! Sorry, I know the good benefits and all, it's just not for me. I'd rather go play basketball or squash or better yet go boxing. That's a very brave attempt for you though. Keep up the good work. This made me laugh. Thanks.

Hahaha! This is so, so hilarious! I think i just had my laughing workout by just reading this hub.

Thanks billybuc for making us laugh out loud.

voted up!

LOL! I'm so glad you've finally joined us crazies who do the yoga...now we just need to get you onto meditating! ;-) I've also started yoga, this past week. I bought one of those kinetic Fitness workout games, and must say I am in a little bit of pain today. But, it's all good. What do they say? No pain, no gain! Look forward to reading how you're doing in the next month or two! :)

Okay, so, because the rest of us don't do yoga (in our tights/leotards) you are writing things like this to make us writhe in laughter and thereby exercise muscles we didn't know we had?

Maybe we should all find a platform on a lake and meditate!

" Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend. " Would that be how we should start describing your yoga skills?

Voted up, funny and interesting.

What?! - cricket and rugby insignificant stuff! Excuse me, but being English I must protest! There, that's my exercise for the day.

This is an hilarious hub. I've never tried yoga but I have friends who swear by it - I think I would swear long and hard if I tried doing any of those positions you mention. My sport is tennis, though this is the first year I haven't played any, apart from vicariously this week and next as I watch Wimbledon. Thanks for the chuckles here billy. Voted up and funny. Ann

omg haha this is too funny! I've always wondered about Yoga. The descriptions of those positions are hilarious! I have been doing Zumba (another exercise craze in the USA), and that has been working out well. Maybe I should give this Yoga a try and let you know how it works out! Another great hub, keep it up! Voted up, funny, and sharing!!

This was hilarious, Bill! I always love stories about self-inflicted pain and suffering! :) In my younger (much younger) days, I enjoyed yoga, but I'm afraid I have no desire to hurt myself at this age! :0 Good for you for giving it a good shot!

You are so funny.. I tried yoga..it about killed me.. lol instead I walk 45 minutes a day and low impact exercise 3 times a week. and lift weights.. just to try and stay alive.. LOL.. Love your hub.. I will share to try and help you get more followers.. I know you would do the same for me.

Bless you

Debbie

Hahahaha Billy you are so funny. I can picture you doing the yoga poses and all...LOL I do yoga from time to time and it does help my flexibility. You can also try tai chi. Blessings. :)

Thanks for this honest and amusing appraisal of this practice, billybuc. Being of a certain age, I've considered yoga to improve flexibility but as you said, it takes time. Voting this Up and Interesting.

Bill, I hate to tell you this, but yoga might now be your thing. I've tried it before, too, and it does help with flexibility. However, I found it to be a real snooze. Also, it isn't so much getting in those positions, it is staying in them, or in even worse, attempting to get back out of them. If you are trying to get healthier, I recommend Tae Bo. It is not "the cool workout" anymore, but it is energetic, fast-paced, and Billy Blanks has plenty of positive things to say. Fun hub and voted up!

Good luck, bullybuc! I used to do yoga lot, but I haven't got around to it recently. I loved it!! Don't give up yet :)

I'd love to write a witty comment, but I can't stop laughing long enough to think of one.

Product Recall: Dear Mr Holland, further to your recent purchase of our premier Yoga DVD, we regret to inform you there has been some contamination of the actual material. 'Seven minutes of Magic' is meant to something else sire. What we thought were authentic yoga poses have now been discovered to be positions extracted from Kama Sutra . This means that these should not... we repeat.. should not be done on your own but preferably with a partner of the opposite gender.

The Willow definitely should not be in the wind, sir.

We do apologise for this confusion and we have enclosed the correct product where the lotus, the head stand, the sun worshiper are all positions to be tried. Would you kindly return or discard the contaminated product swiftly before the cobra gets into a complicated coil.

Yours respectfully,

Holden McGroin

Allpositions inc.

Well this makes me laugh because I know your pain! I took yoga at my gym and started thinking it was going to be too slow and boring. I was totally wrong, what a workout I got. The last position, lying on our backs and "finding stillness", I practically fell asleep I was so tired. Anyways, keep with it. Your muscles are thanking you for it.

Haha, too funny, BillyBuc! Try doing these poses on the beach during the day...people will give you strange looks and if you're REALLY focused, you won't notice their snickers when you lose your balance during "Tree Pose" and fall headlong into the sand! Going to stick to the (relative) privacy of my living room and my Denise Austin "Mind, Body and Soul" dvd...try and salvage some of my dignity while still being in close proximity to ice packs and Icy Hot cream: here's to healthy bodies!

Billybuc, if you ever saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, you'll know what you're working towards. I think some wit summarized the general idea this way: "If your heart is pure, you will be able to fly."

XD

Awesome!!

At 63 you are rocking, Bill. Sure, if pregnant women in bangladesh can do it...lol

why can't you??

Loved how you interpreted the postures in your own terms...lol

now your next challenge is to try Tai-Chi. If 63 year old people in China can do then why can't you? :))

voted up and voted as funny and awesome!!

sharing it across

Cobra pose(Bhujangasana), Sarvangasana(3/4th body upwards, head and shoulders on the ground) and Dhanurasana (Bow-shaped pose) are my favourite ones....

Also Surya-namaskar(Sun salutation) is very good for overall body....try it out if you have never tried it before....

FYI, yoga makes your body flexible...if you do power yoga then you can reduce the body weight within a month or so.... but the normal yoga will benefit your muscles by making them flexible and it will also exercise your internal organs... they will get vitalized if you continue with yoga... and the most important thing is the BLOOD CIRCULATION increases and it reaches every part of your body if you do yoga.... :-)

Be regular in it and have faith :-)

Now I don't feel so bad when I attempt to do a certain pose on my Wii yoga. Love your description of the yoga .. you may have created a new jargon for the ancient art.

Voted up and awesome!

How do you manage to write such wonderful articles. Every article has a distinct style of writing. Loved it and it's a matter of health so carry on with your new found love that's yoga. I simply enjoyed the way you wrote. Keep writing!

Oh, geez, hehehe. You have a way of making me just laugh! As I begin everything anew in my own life, I'm thinking of ways to incorporate exercise. Apparently it helps to keep you young. So, I've got an exercise video and all the dance moves I can conjure up...plus a road bike and a mountain bike. I should be able to incorporate some exercise...it's getting the whole schedule thing down right now...I figure it'll take a good week to do that. Maybe more. Maybe a lot more. Ha! Thanks, friend. :)

Hi Billy

I have tried yoga and I remember whenever I did the child pose my feet would cramp up.

The only thing that hurts now is my stomach from laughing so hard. You should make your own video. It would fly off the shelves.

Voted up up and away!

Best wishes to you and Bev :)

Interesting and entertaining hub. You know I have never tried yoga and I keep saying I will, but I am one of those people who has no problem relaxing or limbering up. Still, I know I should give it a chance and if it helps you to lose weight I can't think of an easier way.

Thanks for the smiles.

Voting up.

tis is by far the best the funniest the most succinctly written info commercial yet for yoga!! :) what? it is not meant to be an info comm?? :) too cool and look at all these comments in just a few days!! I have to keep reading your work; you are totally fantastic!! I clicked alllll the buttons and shared to my FB! great start to my day...now since I am a health coach and actually encourage people to try yoga how the hell am I supposed to do that today without convulsing in laughter over the phone as I remember your hub???? huh???thanks a lot billybuc :) I will be hitting my mute button many many times during my shift today! :)

Entertaining hub Billy :)

Loved this one billybuc, unnatural position causing great pain says it all! Stick with it though, I think it's made your writing more flexible! Voted up and awesome!

It's awesome that you are practicing yoga. Yoga is a great way to release tension in your body and mind. It does improve your strength, balance and flexibility. I've been practicing yoga for over a year now and I feel great. The child's pose is great for beginners. Usually you will start with the downward dog and from there the plank pose. With the plank pose, you will wake up very sore especially when you are first starting out. The downward dog is awesome because it builds strength in the upper arms and rejuvenates the entire body. It takes a while before you notice some changes. As far as doing a headstand, I haven't been able to do one yet.

Lol. Your welcome. I really like your work.

By your sense of humor...lol...I can see your yoga style to be quite comedic! I laughed so hard when I read this! I hope karma sutra sat with you better...lol! That guys voice is annoying...lol! I hope you find the serenity you deserve. Peace Bill...lol!!!

Bill the hub was hilarious, i tried doing it once and it worked too, but i was too lazy to continue

great hub, shared

I Love it! I absolutely Love it! Recently Retired, I found out about a Yoga class that was for Seniors, taught by a Chiropractor. That in itself had to be a warning to my addled brain.

I went to the class and there were 2 other men and over twenty ladies, all of us seniors.

This was supposed to be a beginners class and we were all supposed to "try" but not to hurt ourselves.

After the mandatory 45-minutes, I couldn't even bend over and pick up my mat to leave, one of the really old women picked it up for me; with a smile of course.

I went over to pay the instructor, with an obvious new limp, and she looked at me and handed me her business card.

I just shook my head, and went home to spend three days on the sofa with my old friend, percoset!

Now? I play Golf! I can do it standing up, and if I am careful, I can complete 18-holes without hurting myself too badly.

SO, Goodbye Yoga, Hello Golf. Besides every golf course has a bar at the end of the 18-holes. LOL!

Hi Billy,

Funny you should write this now. I was just about to start a yoga program on DVD. I may have to give this a rethink now.

I was the type that would ride an exercise bike with a cup of tea in one hand and the remote control in the other.

Billy look at it this way, you could cause yourself an injury doing these positions, opt for the hammock. Unless you fall out, you are much safer.

Thanks for the laugh.

You crack me up, Bill. I hope you stick with your yoga practice and figure out why it makes so many of us feel so great!

billybuc, i enjoyed reading this, kindly tell your neighbor dogs to stop barking, or simply buy them off! i hope the barking is not part of the yoga thing.

Beautiful Hub Bill! I have to admit I love yoga. It does bring me peace and it gives me a certain type of bendiness =) BUT I've been doing it for years. Stick with it buddy - and you will notice a difference. Please dont sue the video company...its way too American :P

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us!

LOL I absolutely love your definitions of those poses :) I've tried yoga before, couldn't seem to stick with it. Maybe I should try again??? Voted up and Shared!

Kill the damn cat and get me a beer! LOL I absolutely love this, Bill! I think you just gave us some yoga for laughter :P

Billy, I found you descriptions of the poses pretty funny...lol...

To do yoga, one's mind has to be a certain state. To make it easier, you would need to meditate on something peaceful and let your breathing carry you through the moves. You have to center yourself in order to reap the benefits.

Anyway, good luck with your new routine and I am proud that you haven't quit.

Good luck on your yoga practice! I must admit I haven't tried it. Not sure I'm fit enough to even try. LOL ^_^

This is hilarious! I haven't taken on Yoga yet. I do the NY City Ballet tape for exercise. (As I child, I took ballet) But, now it is a bit late in life to be trying to hit that bar with my toes. So, I can imagine what Yoga is like for you. You are a good sport! Take care and happy exercising!

This is really funny. But I'm glad you are trying to have a healthier lifestyle. My wife loves yoga. One time she encouaged me to try it out with her. So as a good and loving husband, I had no choice but to say yes. Around 5 mnutes into the routine I was already sweating like I'm almost ready to meet my maker. What surprised me is when she said...we're done with the warm up, let's start. WHAT?! this was just the warm up.

Very funny Bill! I just imagine you on the floor doing your favorite yoga position, lol. My cousin who is making fruit salad near me keep on asking whom I´m chatting to because I keep on laughing while reading this. Can you not change the DVD without lake with DVD with lake and sounds of the ocean? Right, just fun. I love this hub. Thanks for sharing.