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How to Lose Weight on Your Terms

Updated on March 23, 2022
rob wyborn profile image

Fat bloke, obese all of adult life - 7 Transient Ischemic Attacks (TIAs) in 24 hours - Loses a lot of weight by changing the way he thinks.

You've already got the body you want

Quite simply, right now, we all have the body we want. Nothing has stopped us achieving it, we've been a success. Yey! Go Celebrate.

Hang on, if you're thinking, 'Hey! Rob, what are you talking about? I didn't want this body' - then read on...

Your life has been shaped through thousands of small and large decisions, you have made millions of life choices and each one has contributed to bringing you here today.

Look around you, look at your life, few of us are where we thought we would be. Changes happen, people we know and love have had an influence over us, some more so than others, but every element and nuance of your life has equipped you to make the decisions and choices that you have made to date.

There is no-one else to blame. Your parents, your friends, your partner. No-one has force-fed you that burger, that cake, that extra 'why-not' mouthful. It's all been down to you. And here is the good news - It's All Your Fault. Once you accept that every decision you have made up to now has been your own free choice, consciously or not, then you start to get excited about the future. You can start to design and plan your future weight-loss. From now on, you can take total control of those choices about every mouthful of food or drink you consume. Every single mouthful is your choice.

Your weight-loss needs to be done for the most important person in your life - YOU

To achieve the weight-loss you desire, you'll need to change the way you think. We can all do the calorie calculations, but there is far more to it than that. You are going to need some tools and get used to using them every day.

Here are your tools:

#1 Positivity
By adopting a positive mindset every day, from morning till night, you'll equip yourself to deal with everything that life throws at you. From a missed bus to a job rejection. From a horrid boss to a nasty comment from a partner, even to incredible personal loss. Pulling on your Captain Positive outfit, you're ready for anything.

Be your own Captain Positive
Be your own Captain Positive

I should add before you start shouting ‘Well I didn’t want this, or I don’t want that…’ - we are focusing on the things you DO want, not the things you don’t want. Being positive is an incredible superpower - you will develop that.

You may be thinking this was not the way you thought things would work out. But of course, it is precisely the way things have happened and you have been in control all the time. Up until now, you hadn’t realised or accepted it. So, go on, do it now, accept it, then you can carry on reading this, it will make a lot more sense.

This really is the core of my concept - once you accept that you’re responsible for everything you’ve got in your life, including your body, then you can start to take control about what happens to it in the future - you’re in total control.

#2 Commit to the Long Game
All the good things don’t happen immediately and weight-loss is a great example. I f I tell you that you can lose a pound in a week, your response maybe, ‘Really, is that all? I won’t bother thanks'. Now, when I say that this time next year they could be 4st lighter, your eyes starrt to sparkle and you get excited. All you need to do is commit to it. Next year, you can look back and recognise your incredible progress.

Get used to Tiny Steps, these are important. The Mountaineer wanting to get to the summit simply has to start with a single step. After that, it’s a series of single steps, each one is simple, but added together they amount to a huge achievement.

Appreciate what you are doing and realise that by using every ounce of your determination, you will achieve your goal - keep going.

# Stop Comparing
Wow! this is a biggy! Never compare yourself to anyone else - your journey is not theirs. You have your own path and you're in control. You can never know or even appreciate what others are going through, we're all individual. Then, of course, the question remains, 'what good does it do?' - if you're comparing yourself to someone else, what can that possibly achieve? The answer? Nothing. There is only one person you should be comparing yourself to and that is yourself. Look back over the weeks and months and see how far you have come - Make a note of those small weekly losses, then look back and celebrate how far you've come.

If you keep on doing a little bit, you'll achieve a LOT

# Determination
Take a look at all the successful people in the world, (study, not compare). From elite athletes and sports people to business leaders, innovators, scientists, and designers. They all have one thing in common. Determination - nothing has stopped them achieving what they are passionate about. There have been plenty of obstacles along their paths, negative nay-sayers and banks thank have refused to finance them. They all remain positive and find solutions to their problems.

This needs to be the same with your weight-loss. You are going to be an elite weight-loss individual. You're not going to let anyone tell you can't do it, even if you have failed in the past. You'll find a way to navigate around those triggers that used to send you to the biscuit tin.

# Doing It For YOU
During my life I have lost weight many times. For girlfriends, For wife, For sister's wedding - as soon as all those ended - the weight went back on. This time, when I lost 8 stone (and counting), I did for the most important person I know, me. I had no-one else to impress, just me. I want to do it so much, that it has become the thing I think about when I wake up and it stays with me all day.

# Get Some Help
I had always been a 'bloke' that could sort things out for himself. When I finally admitted I had a problem and needed some help, then everything started to change. Fearful of enrolling in a local slimming club, where I thought I would be subjected to embarrassment, ridicule, judgement and a cold Church hall once a week, I decided to bite the bullet. A friend had recommended a Slimming World group, I made the call and nervously attended my first meeting. If you've ever seen an AA meeting on TV, well, it's a bit like that. Cold Church hall? Yes! A group of people at various stages of dealing with their problem? Yes. A warm and supportive group of fantastic individuals, willing to help you? YES.

This is where you can learn all the great stuff you can do with food. Your taste buds will thank you, as will your heart and waistline. Not to mention the charity shops who receive all your oversized wardrobe stock and the high street clothes shops that will appreciate you spending your money with them.

# Go Celebrate
Celebrate goals and targets along the way, what gets celebrated, gets repeated. As well as focusing on what you want to achieve and your targets along the way, take a little time out to decide how you want to celebrate your losses. For me and my weight-loss journey, it was about buying smaller clothes or taking the time to go out on a special date. It was not about a slap-up meal.

The past does not have a postcode, you can't live there. The Future? well, that doesn't exist. So, the only time you can do something is NOW and the only person you can do anything about is YOU. All you need to do is start changing the way you think. If you next five years to be same as the last five years, then simply close this browser now and go back to what you were doing.

If you want to make a change - then you can start right here, right now.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Rob Wyborn


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