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Your comfort-zone could be the death of you.

Updated on August 24, 2015
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Kicked out Of Your Comfort-zone
Kicked out Of Your Comfort-zone | Source

In the year 2009 I had an argument with my father. We argued about events that occurred in the past. I felt he was never there for us, and I grew up as an angry child, a very angry child. It’s a pity, because even to this day, there are still no anger management classes in schools. One of the smartest students in primary school, and yet spent most of my time getting into fights and in trouble with my school teachers. My anger was my comfort zone and fighting gave me liberty from that comfort zone, at least that’s what I thought. When we had that argument with my father; he ended up calling my mother names. I responded back and said, “If my mother was that, then what are you?” And his response was disowning me and kicking me out from his place, the place he often called our home. I stayed at his place and never moved out. He started being all nice and acting like a good loving parent. At one stage he even asked me to hop into his car so we can go do go some shopping together. I dreaded that, but he couldn’t tell because over the years he was never there for us, I developed a skill in bottling things inside while on the outside display a pretentious smile. This all happened in September 2009 and I can remember the day clearly and it was on a Saturday afternoon.

When everyone at home thought the bad blood between me and my father was over. I did some thinking of my own. Overwhelmed by my fears and doubts, afraid of what would happen if I moved out. A little voice whispered in my ears and said “Mthokozisi, the man kicked you out of his place and said you are no longer fit to be called his son, so why are you still around”? The voice continued to whisper, “Move, move, get out, go find your own place. I started feeling like I was just like the prodigal son from the bible. And that`s when I remembered words I once read in a poem, they spoke to me and said “If you are in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out, Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt, a step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true”.One day on a weekend, my father had to work, and so he left in the morning on Saturday. He did not know that I had already found a room to rent and had my new keys. My little brother was the only one who knew my plan that day and he didn’t tell anyone because I asked him not to tell a single soul about it. I left my father’s place, walked out with my bag full of clothes, and went into an empty room with a heart full of hope.

I had just been accepted into a learnership programme and my allowance at that time was one thousand eight hundred rands. I had nothing. All I knew was that I had to spend that money very wisely, and so I did and was only left with two hundred rand. And I still had to buy my monthly train ticket, which was ninety nine rand back then and I was left with hundred and one rand. I had no food. Life forced me out of my comfort zone.

I found myself on the other side of the bridge and had to take a leap of faith and make the jump. I remember walking into my empty room. Leaning against the door, wondering how am I going to make this work? I remember friends leaving me and going to bed on an empty stomach. There were times I felt like giving up. Sometimes I cried and wished I was never born. But I loved reading books, and came across a quote by Lou Piniella which read “YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE” All of a sudden I was glad my father kicked me out of his place and disowned me. First I had to learn to be independent and then I had to learn to forgive, so I first forgave myself, realized why I was where I was and let go of what was holding me back, and I forgave him.

A comfort zone defined

A comfort zone is defined as “a place or position in which a person feels secure, comfortable or in control”

Have you ever been in a comfort-zone before and how did you manage to get out?

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    • Mthokozisi Nkosi profile imageAUTHOR

      Mthokozisi Nkosi 

      2 years ago from South Africa

      We often never realize we are in a comfort-zone until some huge change occurs in our life that pushes us into taking some form of risk action - only to find that; we are not well equipped for the change. Everything was done for us, and we were well supplied and never felt the need to go after our own dreams. We watched other people succeeding right in front of our eyes, and thought they got where they are because God favored them more or they were just lucky. We never realized or acknowledged the fact that sometimes we create our own opportunities, they don`t just come to you and knock on your door. If you are one of those people then you need to be aware that you have been stuck in your comfort-zone for too long. It`s about time you acknowledge the fact that you can achieve the same success if you really want and all it will take is making the decision to step out of your comfort-zone. Learn how to conquer your fears and find out how you can step out of your comfort-zone and start living your dreams.

      Please check out my new book and read sample and tell me what you think. http://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-mthokozisi-s-nkosi-k...

    • profile image

      ntombi mofokeng 

      3 years ago

      God has blessed u he put on the life challanges and make u strong u are a true life leady may god bless u mothokisizi

    • Mthokozisi Nkosi profile imageAUTHOR

      Mthokozisi Nkosi 

      3 years ago from South Africa

      @ecogranny I`m feeling blessed :) thank you.

      Thank you all for your comments, Really appreciate them and I`m glad that my writing can influence lives out there.

    • profile image

      mzwakhe 

      3 years ago

      That true to get your way up u must come down if your parent kick u out it felt like they dont want u but they made u to be strong and face the life

    • profile image

      busisiwe nkabinde 

      3 years ago

      TJO MY BROTHER I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT DAT.TRUE ON DAT U R A WISE MAN HM!!!MY GOD

    • ecogranny profile image

      Kathryn Grace 

      3 years ago from San Francisco

      This morning, a bald eagle flew past my window. I haven't seen one in decades, and never in the city I live in now. When I saw the image on your hub, I had to read your article. Too strange a coincidence to ignore, wouldn't you say?

      Thank you for telling your story and for the nudge to move beyond my comfort zone. I'm afraid I've rather sunk in here. It's time to move, perhaps to fly, as that eagle did this morning, straight on, with purpose.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      3 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Thanks for sharing this great story. Yes, a comfort zone can be a dangerous place. We become complacent and make excuses for why we can't be better.

      You are a wise man.

      Namaste

    • Mthokozisi Nkosi profile imageAUTHOR

      Mthokozisi Nkosi 

      3 years ago from South Africa

      Yes and its funny how most people tend to want to take the easy route out of life. Parents work hard and then their children have it easy and never feel the need to work their way up. The knowledge of their inheritance becomes their only hope.

    • Buildreps profile image

      Buildreps 

      3 years ago from Europe

      That's a great article. It's true that the only way up, is the way down. Casting off the veils of the illusion is tough, and getting out of your comfort zone is one of the best ways to start with.

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