You're Fat. Just Admit It.

I’m fat. I know I am. I am OK with that.

What I am not OK with is deluding oneself by using terms like curvy, plus-size, big or thick. I am also not OK with the delusion that iconic beauties such as Marilyn Monroe or Bettie Page were in the same category as today’s women who wear sizes 12 and up. A size 12 back in Marilyn’s day was more equivalent to a size 6 today. I am sorry, honey, you are no size 6 and you are certainly not Marilyn Monroe. You are your own unique you and you are fine just the way you are . . . just don’t kid yourself by saying, “Oh, I’m just curvy.” No. You are fat. There might be curves under there, but that is excess fat on the outside. Your choices are either embrace and love who you are or change it.

Although we live in a culture of thinness, where the only acceptable standard of beauty is emaciated and gaunt, the average woman is size 14. Nearly 60 percent of the population is overweight. We are bombarded messages that we aren’t good enough. That we will never be good enough, unless, UNLESS we all starve ourselves down to a respectable size 4.

It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how pretty you are, how talented you are, how successful you are or if you are even a good person. You must be thin, thin, and thin!

How many times have we seen a celebrity endorsing one of the big three weight loss systems? Jennifer Hudson, Janet Jackson and Marie Osmond are currently spokeswomen for various weight loss programs. How long will it be until we see Melissa McCarthy as the next spokeswomen for a diet company? She has a hit sitcom and an Emmy nomination. Pretty soon someone will decide that’s not good enough and she needs to drop some excess pounds. A huge part of me (no pun intended) hopes she tells them to take their offer and stuff it.

Some of us are never, ever, ever, ever, no matter how much dieting, exercising, wishing or praying that we do, are going to be tiny. We aren’t going to be tiny little size 4s. And that’s ok. No, really. It is.

For example, I have very broad shoulders. My shoulders and back are wider than my hips. I am what is often described as an upside-down triangle. My lower half, hips and legs, are much smaller in comparison. I currently wear size 16 or 18, the occasional 14 in dresses. In skirts I wear a 12. My measurements are 43-35-40. I wear a 38DDDD bra. (Yeah, that’s four “d’s”). According to height and weight charts I should weigh 115 -129 pounds. If I weighed 129 pounds I would look like death. My ideal weight, the one I feel the healthiest and look the best is 140 pounds. Did you know each cup size you are makes up three pounds of your weight? Three pounds per cup! No wonder my neck, shoulders, and back hurt at the end of the day! And even at 140 pounds I will still need to wear at least a 14 in dresses, and I will never wear anything smaller than an acceptable 8 or 10.

I am not in that range now and I am really not willing to do the things I need to get there. I am not going on a diet. I am not going to make exercise a priority. I work full time. I go to school. The things I like to do involve sitting –sewing, writing and reading. I am not going to sacrifice valuable sewing time to jump up and down and sweating.

Embrace yourself. Find the things that make you happy. Wear the clothes that accentuate your best assets and draw the eye away from the areas you are less happy about.

And when and IF you ever want to make a change, a change for you, to be stronger, to be healthier or whatever your goal is, I’ll be your cheerleader.