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You're Fat. Just Admit It.

Updated on January 6, 2012
Me. Size XL.
Me. Size XL. | Source

I’m fat. I know I am. I am OK with that.

What I am not OK with is deluding oneself by using terms like curvy, plus-size, big or thick. I am also not OK with the delusion that iconic beauties such as Marilyn Monroe or Bettie Page were in the same category as today’s women who wear sizes 12 and up. A size 12 back in Marilyn’s day was more equivalent to a size 6 today. I am sorry, honey, you are no size 6 and you are certainly not Marilyn Monroe. You are your own unique you and you are fine just the way you are . . . just don’t kid yourself by saying, “Oh, I’m just curvy.” No. You are fat. There might be curves under there, but that is excess fat on the outside. Your choices are either embrace and love who you are or change it.

A Culture of Thin

Although we live in a culture of thinness, where the only acceptable standard of beauty is emaciated and gaunt, the average woman is size 14. Nearly 60 percent of the population is overweight. We are bombarded messages that we aren’t good enough. That we will never be good enough, unless, UNLESS we all starve ourselves down to a respectable size 4.

It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how pretty you are, how talented you are, how successful you are or if you are even a good person. You must be thin, thin, and thin!

NutriSystem, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig

How many times have we seen a celebrity endorsing one of the big three weight loss systems? Jennifer Hudson, Janet Jackson and Marie Osmond are currently spokeswomen for various weight loss programs. How long will it be until we see Melissa McCarthy as the next spokeswomen for a diet company? She has a hit sitcom and an Emmy nomination. Pretty soon someone will decide that’s not good enough and she needs to drop some excess pounds. A huge part of me (no pun intended) hopes she tells them to take their offer and stuff it.

Accept the things you can’t change; have the courage to change the things you can.

Some of us are never, ever, ever, ever, no matter how much dieting, exercising, wishing or praying that we do, are going to be tiny. We aren’t going to be tiny little size 4s. And that’s ok. No, really. It is.

For example, I have very broad shoulders. My shoulders and back are wider than my hips. I am what is often described as an upside-down triangle. My lower half, hips and legs, are much smaller in comparison. I currently wear size 16 or 18, the occasional 14 in dresses. In skirts I wear a 12. My measurements are 43-35-40. I wear a 38DDDD bra. (Yeah, that’s four “d’s”). According to height and weight charts I should weigh 115 -129 pounds. If I weighed 129 pounds I would look like death. My ideal weight, the one I feel the healthiest and look the best is 140 pounds. Did you know each cup size you are makes up three pounds of your weight? Three pounds per cup! No wonder my neck, shoulders, and back hurt at the end of the day! And even at 140 pounds I will still need to wear at least a 14 in dresses, and I will never wear anything smaller than an acceptable 8 or 10.

I am not in that range now and I am really not willing to do the things I need to get there. I am not going on a diet. I am not going to make exercise a priority. I work full time. I go to school. The things I like to do involve sitting –sewing, writing and reading. I am not going to sacrifice valuable sewing time to jump up and down and sweating.


Embrace yourself. Find the things that make you happy. Wear the clothes that accentuate your best assets and draw the eye away from the areas you are less happy about.

And when and IF you ever want to make a change, a change for you, to be stronger, to be healthier or whatever your goal is, I’ll be your cheerleader.


Submit a Comment

  • Tess45 profile image

    Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina

    Thanks Barbergirl! I am glad you are happy and enjoying your workouts. The best reason to change is for your own health and happiness and I am so happy that you have embraced that and yourself. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  • barbergirl28 profile image

    Stacy Harris 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

    I am not for the thin epidemic.... it is almost as bad as the obesity epidemic that is constantly being talked about. But how about the healthy epidemic? Where you feel good about who you are and are comfortable in your skin.

    I am not going to lie... I am on a big health and fitness kick right now. I want to lose weight before i stand up for my sister's wedding. However, there are a few things that went in with that. First, I wasn't comfortable in my own skin which was leading to a serious case of depression... and second... I am a little sadistic and actually enjoy exercise. That being said... I love the idea of people loving who they are for who they actually are. It really is the inside that counts and not the actual size. For me, my size is usually a size 9 or 10... that is when I am at my healthiest. I am almost there right now and it took a lot to do it. But I am finally comfortable in my own skin and don't care if others don't view me as being thin!

    Great hub!

  • Tess45 profile image

    Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina

    KSTRO18 - I agree, but the first step is to admit you are overweight and endangering your health. We must all stop sugarcoating it with words like thick, curvy and full. Thank you for commenting and reading.

  • KStro18 profile image

    KStro18 5 years ago from PA

    People need to focus less on what the scale says, less on what pants size they wear, and more on how they feel. There are many ways out there to keep yourself healthy and fit. It starts with you wanting to do it. Think about the long term of your health when youre overweight... Diabetes, heart attack, etc. Its a good motivator!

  • Tess45 profile image

    Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina

    Jeanie, I am glad you enjoyed it. I am not against people losing weight to be healthier and happier, but I think our society places to much emphasis on being thin to be accepted.

    Thank you Bud and Malik.

  • Bud Gallant profile image

    Bud Gallant 5 years ago from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

    Nice hub. I'm sure many will find this an enjoyable read!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    This is a great hub! I've gained about 15 pounds this last year. The funny thing is, when I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, it was never good enough. My goal was to go down to a size 6, but once I was there, I wanted to be a 4... and then a 2. I stopped at 2, but I really wanted to be a 0 and just couldn't get there. This was despite the fact that everyone was telling me I was too thin. Seriously, there shouldn't even be a size 0! The problem is we are lead to believe we are never thin enough when we look at the people on TV.

    For now, I would like to lose some of the extra weight I've put on, but I don't want to be down to a size 2 again. I like food and I hate exercising. I have bigger priorities in life and obsessively working out an hour everyday isn't one of them anymore.

    Thanks for writing this hub and sharing your story!