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Anxiety Depression and Chronic Fatigue

Updated on February 11, 2011
My self in my 30's as the artist-mystic-yogi
My self in my 30's as the artist-mystic-yogi

How I Coped with my Lifetime of Stress, Anxiety, Chronic Fatigue and Depression Without Drugs

Very early in my years I showed signs and symptoms of severe emotional distress. Not sure what was causing them, I suffered in my childhood and early teens from occasional nervous symptoms ranging from insomnia, nightmares, hypochondria, and fear of having a heart attack or other serious disease resulting in either death or psychosis. As I learned about drugs and their abuse in my middle school years, I developed a severe phobia of mind-altering drugs and those who used them. I suppose that was good (and my parents sure did!) but I also became obsessed with the fear of somehow being poisoned with some of those drugs. Therefore I avoided all parties and other social interactions with those who would even remotely seem like drug abusers. Groups and organizations affiliated with Christian Science and other Christian organizations became a safe haven for me and was thankful for the drug-free environment they provided.

A classic image long associated with the science of  alchemy and the discovery of higher realities
A classic image long associated with the science of alchemy and the discovery of higher realities

I Spend My Whole Life Searching For a Natural Cure

As I grew older (into my middle school and high school years) my anxiety seemed to grow worse along with spells of dizziness, vertigo and horrible feelings of entire world falling down through space. It spread into many different areas of my life and was seriously exasperated by years and years of much hazing and bullying. The stress and loneliness caused by feeling so different from everyone else often became overwhelming. I developed a social anxiety which definitely affected my grades and any projects that involved other students. I learned later that my social anxiety may have been caused by a tendency towards Asperger's syndrome, however I have never been tested for this yet, but I strongly suspect it. I could only handle one or two friends at a time, and often had one or two close friends instead of many.

I also suffered from the obsession of longing for some perfect female companion (soulmate) to somehow come out of the woodwork and fulfill all my needs! It was amazing how hard I tried to find this "perfect woman" and believed I would someday meet her simply because I sensed the ideal so deeply within my heart. Instead all manner of attempts at relationships all stopped before they started, and the reason for this was my anxiety disorder and other personal quirks seriously got in the way. The resulting heartbreak and loneliness turned into a serious life-long depression and chronic fatigue.

Beginning in high school I was diagnosed with anxiety neurosis (anxiety disorder) but there was no cure available except drugs with all those harsh side-effects, and having been a Christian Scientist, I indeed hated the idea of taking any such drug. I naturally became desperate for answers, and I often scoured the libraries for those answers from the fields of metaphysics, religion, psychology, science, alchemy and mysticism. However, no matter how deeply I searched or prayed, did positive thinking, meditated, practiced my self-analytical psychology, did my yoga or tried to astral project to find answers that way, I simply could not get anywhere and my symptoms only continued to get worse.

It was not until my first few years in college that I became fully aware of a very definite connection between my eating habits and mental, psychological and physical symptoms. Just the idea at that time (late 1970's) of modifying one's diet to alleviate mental symptoms was unheard of and everyone thought I was on the wrong track, that all my problems were "all in my head" and never in what I ate! I was isolated by family and friends for thinking this way and to make matters worse, my first few diet experiments were complete disasters! Having only the vaguest idea in the beginning what needed to be eliminated and what I should replace those foods I suspected were causing it, my symptoms only got worse and started losing weight (when I was already too thin!) because I eliminated too many of the essential foods. Nevertheless, I realized if certain diets made me feel worse, well surely there had to be some regimens that improved or even eliminated my symptoms! This search for the right food which I naively thought would only take a few weeks, turned out to be a life-long search lasting decades!

There were so many different foods in the world to eliminate and/or consume, there seemed no end to the different varieties possible I would have to try. I therefore consulted every diet book I could find on the subject of mental illness, but only could find a few in a few places back in the seventies, but these books (also magazines, pamphlets and periodicals) seemed to increase in number throughout the eighties and nineties.

However, progress, if any, was so painfully slow, full of set-backs and cumbersome, I was forced by my parents to try conventional drugs through conventional doctors and a psychiatrist. My repeated trials with the xanax and immipramine was terrible. The only drug that seemed to not have the awful side effects was buspar, but it still made me feel rather strange (vertigo) and did not help my anxiety at all. Even worse, my psychiatrist told me to avoid trying to reduce anxiety with supplements and special diets, and that any form of alternative or natural medicine was rife with quack therapies and treatments that at best would waste my money and at worse could do great harm. Because I really preferred to try these "quack" natural "unproven" alternative therapies rather than the awful "side effect" pharmaceuticals, I was made even more depressed. I never felt better until I stopped taking all the drugs, left the expensive psychiatrist and went back on the vitamins I should not take!

Having experienced enough of pharmaceuticals that only made my symptoms worse, I dove full speed back on track into the alternative realms of "snake oil" potions, "quack science" treatments, supplements, special diets and super food formulas with some improvement in my overall condition. I tried ozone and ion generators, meditation, energy healing, the Atkins diet, and actually had numerous consultations with the famous Dr. Whitaker at the Whitaker Wellness Center. I learned many things from several famous alternative medical physicians that helped me a great deal and put me on the right track.

As I entered my thirties and forties, I found out that I suffered from food sensitivities and all my anxiety and vertigo symptoms got worse if I did not eat enough complete protein, antioxidants and drank enough purified and/or mineral water between meals. I eventually discovered how to eliminate my depression completely and most of my anxiety by including in my diet a large variety of herbs (botanicals) especially the adaptogenic kind such as barley grass, kelp, turmeric, cayenne pepper, rhodiola rosa, ashwaganda, maca, eleuthero (Siberian ginseng), damiana, bacopa, ginkgo, St John's wort, chamomile, lemon balm, etc. I also included as many raw foods in my diet as is practical to do so with some good results..

In my fifties, after experiencing some dental problems and simply could not afford a dentist at all, I actually managed to reverse and eventually completely eliminate all my tooth decay and gum problems using all manner of minerals in combination with large doses of vitamin D and CQ10 every day. All macro minerals, all 74 trace (colloidal minerals) elements, sulfur, phosphorous, magnesium, and calcium also played a significant role in my further recovery from anxiety and depression. I continue until this day to make more and more discoveries in how to live more fully and more joyfully using diet and other methods of wholeness such as a pure lifestyle of transmutation, cell rejuvenation, and focusing only on the positive.

My search in the areas of philosophy and religion also did not stop. My discovery of some great near-death experience books and authors proving the existence of an extremely and unconditionally loving God and great masters such as Jesus, Krishna and Buddha also helped to a significant extent because much of my anxiety and depression throughout my life was caused by my uncertainty regarding what happens after we die due to all those "debunking" scientific materialists.

Then I discovered Leslie Flint and spiritualism, and at last found some of the most comforting and absolutely convincing evidence ever not only of life and love eternal, but of an endless number of truly wonderful and natural spheres of spirit to enjoy after this lifetime on Earth, and that Earth really, really is a very, very hard school of physical limitations for any incarnating soul to learn and go through. Spiritualism provided me many answers no conventional religion ever could, so I was very pleased and enthralled upon hearing those awesome Leslie Flint paranormal tape recordings of actual spirits naturally conversing with the sitters in the seance rooms how wonderful, exciting, full of interests, and complete their lives in spirit truly are and how sadly limited true afterlife knowledge is on Earth, causing so many to fear or dread what really should be most wonderful experience of all: our crossing over into the realms beyond the extremely restricting and problematic physical world.

Anyway, we have learned from this page that there are indeed natural alternatives that one can use instead of conventional pharmaceutical drugs to treat anxiety, depression, other problems and symptoms. I still have not completely overcome anxiety, but got rid of all my depression and now enjoy many subjects of interests and put all these subjects on my website. It is also possible to help anxiety and improve other aspects of one's life through meditation, positive thinking, and knowing that there is a God who really loves you and that life always continues onward into higher and finer completely natural realities of joy, beauty and love.


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