ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Health»
  • Death & Loss of Life

How to console a person who has recently lost her loved one

Updated on February 24, 2016

Consoling...someone....is it possible??

 

As far as consoling someone who has lost her love goes, this is the time when the person needs emotional support, because she might be so depressed, she would be so confused that she does not know what to do or what not to. But I would say it is not just "HER" this also applies to "HIM" as well. A very close friend of mine lost her girlfriend in an road accident, though before her demise she got married to someone else, but he still loves her, and when he got the news of her death, he was like so much under depression that he didn't even knew what he was doing, it took around 1 year to recover from that episode, and yes he required a lot of emotional support from all the friends, do you think that would have worked?? No it did not. It actually depends on how deep they were involved and consoling also depends on the involvement they both had. Just saying and making them understand will not work always, unless and until the person gets someone else to replace their loved one. A new girlfriend or a new boyfriend is the best way to console the person who has lost her/his love one recently. Instead of all the friends and family people working on consoling the suffered person, leave this to a person who is just in the queue waiting for his/her chance to talk to that person. The person will not recover unless and until he/she gets someone more caring than the previous one. Well these are my views, if you have some other ways of looking at this topic, I am open for the feedback.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Jess 8 years ago

      I'm 14 and a girl my age has just lost her boyfriend. I'm not sure what to do to help her cope with her loss. We aren't really close friends but we are still friends. What should i do?

    • profile image

      jess 8 years ago

      i once lost a friend about 2 years ago. i knew her since well before preschool and we stopped being friends in 4 to 5 grade she thought ui was being bossy an i was crying now i am

    • JYOTI KOTHARI profile image

      Jyoti Kothari 8 years ago from Jaipur

      Hi Naresh,

      This hub along with some of your others are chosen for Hubbers India.

      Congrats!

      Jyoti Kothari

    • profile image

      mother2009 8 years ago

      i have never witness a death of a child, it is very hard until i witness my daugther full term dead baby. it is a hurting feeling, at this time i do not know what to do help her to get over her pain of losing someone she never got a chance to know and love. i just need some advice to help her get over this pain of losing someone so little and dear.

    • naresh_19812000 profile image
      Author

      naresh_19812000 10 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Mark you being older than me and you might have seen more world and more relationships than me. I have never told that "Grief should not be faced and accepted and acknowledged." I have told that u shud not stick and keep thinking about what had happend...get out of that period, get attached to someone who is consoling you and that will help. Have u been thru such an incident?? if no, then u r not a suitable person to answer this question. because giving advises are much easier than going through such a thing, it took me 1-1/2 years to get through that phase and it would have taken much longer or i might have ended up in the asylum, until someone came to my rescue.

    • Mark Knowles profile image

      Mark Knowles 10 years ago

      This is the worst advice I have ever heard. You clearly have no idea. Replacing the lost one with a new person will cause all sorts of hardships both for the replacement and the person doing the replacing.

      Grief must be faced and accepted and acknowledged. Delaying the process in this fashion is dangerous.

      Poor advice.

    • soni2006 profile image

      Rajinder Soni 10 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Who can write such a beautiful hub on this topic other than you Naresh. As you have gone through all this in your previous life, you know better. This phase also came into my life but times is the best healer of all the sorrows, now I am with my partner, happy and content. You will also get your partner in the coming days and will come out of this pain, but then also this thing remains in your heart somewhere down there, in the deepest core I think......

    • naresh_19812000 profile image
      Author

      naresh_19812000 10 years ago from New Delhi, India

      it is the time that heals it, and the sufferer starts to understand after he/she has come to normal mental condition, it may take a week or take years. where in case if takes years the person might end up in asylum.

    • pvbonus profile image

      pvbonus 10 years ago

      Yes, support means a lot in recovery. Many people do not have it or accept it...your friend has a good friend in you.

    • naresh_19812000 profile image
      Author

      naresh_19812000 10 years ago from New Delhi, India

      But my dear friend unless and until u keep thinking of the lost one and dont try to divert urself, i know it is difficult, how can u live a normal life, u will be in depression if u keep thinking of the person who is no more, i m not saying that as soon as u lose someone u start looking for someone new, and no one does this, i said the other person who takes the initiative and tries to console the sufferer emotiontially plays a vital role here.

    • pvbonus profile image

      pvbonus 10 years ago

      We agree with moving on...and I do believe in fresh starts too. Though one thing that is an important part of moving on is being able to be OK with and by yourself -- if one can grow and work through the grief without jumping too quickly into a new relationship, then one will be in a healthier and happier state of mind. This way the relationship can begin with love rather than grief and strength rather than weakness. Otherwise, I bare no judgment on wanting to find someone new...sooner rather than later. It is just that it may be harder to have true happiness. Peace and best wishes for your friend.

    • naresh_19812000 profile image
      Author

      naresh_19812000 10 years ago from New Delhi, India

      i agree to what u say but u won't be able to recover from that unless and until you try to move on, allow someone else to come in your life, if u keep scraping the old wound it will hurt and not provide any relief, so it is just like putting a band-aid on so that the wound heals and u can start afresh, do u agree with this friend?

    • pvbonus profile image

      pvbonus 10 years ago

      Another person is not the answer, though I can see why some would think so--and it may be for some people, but often that is a rebound grief effect that turns out poorly unless the person deals with their feelings before finding someone new. I wrote two articles on this topic, one How to Recover from Losing Your Soulmate and How to Cope With Losing a Friend. -- If it can be of help. These are located here:http://www.ehow.com/how_2181245_recover-losing-sou...

      Best wishes and good photos and topic.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)